Premier Match-up: Battle of the Horrible Teams
PICKLESNAKE!!! vs. spades lil bandito's
PICKLESNAKE!!! wins 9-6!
MVP: My first-round pick Pekka Rinne played three times and had a GAA of 1.97. He's so good you guys.
spade, you just got BIT!
Anzeholics Anonymous vs. Some Witty Pun
Anzeholics wins 10-3!
MVP: Despite his crippling poverty (I once saw him steal a bag of cans from a homeless guy) Mike Smith is having a remarkable year. Three starts, two wins, GAA 1.95. Oh, and Claude Giroux had seven points.
Kitten Mittons vs. Bearodactyls
Bearodactyls wins 11-1!
MVP: Mike Richards had four goals, 15 shots, and 27 faceoff wins.
LVP: Can this be right? Alex Ovechkin had zero points and was a minus five? That's, uh...shitty.
I heard that Sidney Crosby might play soon. That should help Nut's team out for a week...and then Crosby will get hurt again.
Sleek and Destroy vs. Teal Blades
Sleek and Destroy wins 9-4!
MVP: Chris Pronger had five assists, giving Sleek the victory in that category.
LVP: Keith Ballard had a bunch of zeros, then he hurt his back.
For the Teal Blades, Ryan Suter was a plus seven. The Blades beat Sleek 19 to -6 in that category.
Team Quake vs. UNSC Guiding Light
Team Quake wins 12-2!
MVP: Vlasic? More like Vla-siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick!!!
Quake vs. Halo ends in a brutal KILLTACULAR! for Team Quake.
Brain and Braun vs. BROWS
Brain and Braun wins 7-5!
MVP: Cal Clutterbuck, he of the funny name, had one goal (a game-winner), one assist, 12 PIMS, and 12 faceoffs won.
LVP: Jamie McBain has a lot of awesomeness in his name, and zero awesomeness anywhere else in his life.
The winning team in this match-up had 6 goals, while the loser had 3. How electrifying!
Fournick Gators vs. Sir Mitchellot
6-6 tie. Boring.
LVP: Everyone else on both of these teams this week.
The Snuffle Bunnies vs. Certified Ninjas
Certified Ninjas wins 8-4!
LVP: Tomas Kaberle had no points and was a minus two, but honestly this whole team was pretty mediocre this week so pick whoever you want.
If you're going to hire a ninja to perform an assassination, make sure you hire a certified ninja.
Keepem on the Island vs. Rule 64
Keepem wins 7-6!
MVP: Eric Cole: three goals, three assists, four powerplay points, eleven shots.
LVP: Semyon Varlamov: one start, one loss, six goals allowed.
Aside from the boring stupid tie I previously discussed, this was the closest match-up of the week.
Team Tugboat vs. Windy City Frostbite
Team Tugboat wins 7-3!
MVP: James Neal had three points and twelve shots on goal, helping Rudy reach an even 100 shots this week.
LVP: Bobby Ryan didn't score this week, but at least he was a minus four.
In other news, former Ducks superstar Ray Emery posted an 8.84 GAA for the Frostbite this week.
That's all. Volunteer for fantasy recap duty in the comments.