FanPost

Sacrifce to the altar of the hockey gawds!

hey the ducks fucking stink right now...worse than unserviced waterless urinals...which iv'e had to deal with here at work.(we had them installed yet never gave maintenance O&M manuals on how and when to service them..oops)

I need to do my part to reverse that...so i thought..what could one handsome Boc commenter like myself do?...I could sacrifice somthing to the hockey gawds and hope it appeases them and they can turn around our team...cuz other than teemu..the ducks dont seem to give a shit...so we need outside forces to get them to give a crap..

so...help me decide or add your own sacrifices..kings fans can play along as you suck too...

how bout sacrificing (a):

goat?
well im latin and we've been sacrificing them for years..making Birria out of them...a shredded meat thats quite delicious..I also own a large goatee..and who cares if one goat has to be slain...but would that be enough for the hockey gawds?...do they have goats in canada?

eating?
fasting?..gawd I love to eat..and even more so when Im depressed..like I am now..(steelers also lost a heartbreaker)....this isnt gonna work either..the people of india fast all the time..and it doesnt seem to do them any good..except be dentists....


Virgin?
hahahahahaha....no fuckin way...and even if you wanted to...good luck finding one..

shaving?
very hockey related...and this so far is the most likely to appease the hockey gawds...yet maybe it only works come playoff time...and we dont want our female readers with wooly mammoth legs...no I dont like this..too risky...and i look like shit with a patchy beard


Jackie Chan?
Canada hates him right?...we might get a stanley cup out of this...at least no more rush hour movies?...I don't think jackie Chan can be killed by conventional weapons though..this could be tough

alcohol?
pretty hard when your favorite team is the ducks...ive done it before for 6 months believe it or not!..this could work...the hockey gawds know hockey fans love to drink..would be a pretty big sacrifice..could I just sacrifice just beer?..still drink liquor?...how bout wine only?....Im sure I could make a deal

sex?
ha..no

your body?
you could give some blood?...get a tattoo of something hockey related?..volunteer punching bag...?...be a cub to a bear? hockey players constantly sacrifice there bodies..this could work


BOC obsession?
ha..no

 

so..what say you readers?

 

p.s.

Ill be in attendance at tomorrows preds-ducks game thanks to earl...in turn I plan to sacrifice earl for better play from the ducks....by poison?...throw him in front of a truck?....make him take the ugly friend?.....well see!!

This FanPost was posted by a fan, and it probably sucks and is dumb.

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