I Don't Want To Be One Of Those Guys, But...

by RudyKelly on Dec 14, 2011 1:13 PM PST

One thing that always bothers me one fan message boards, article comments, etc. are when fans claim they could do something better than a pro athlete. Like I'll read someone comment, "I could shoot harder than Scott Niedermayer," and I'll think, 'No you can't, you idiot. Besides, he's not trying to shoot as hard as he can. Oh god why is no one else as smart and pretty as me?!' That's what usually happens. With that being said, though...

I'm about 90% sure I could beat Trent Hunter in a race from goal line to goal line. I'm 99.9% sure I could beat him from goal line to red line. Let's set this up. Give me a few hours to get acclimated to non-goalie skates and I'll be good to go. Let's get Luc out there too, I'm pretty sure that at 45 years old and with 2 left feet he could beat Trent Hunter. C'mon, Trent, you some kinda girl? It's go time! Hyah! (*pulls hamstring typing)

(What I'm trying to say is that guy's slow as shit. As literal shit. Put some skates on shit and give it a little push and I think it'd go about as fast as Hunter does.)

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I don’t think you want to upset a guy who looks like a cross between Gargamel and Kratos from God of War. Then again, he probably couldn’t catch you to beat you up anyways

For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.

by Nut on Dec 14, 2011 1:17 PM PST reply actions 3 recs

Sometimes I shit really fast. Other times not so much. But when I shit fast, I think it could beat Mike Gartner, circa 1996.

"What if I picked the wrong religion? All I'm doing is getting God madder and madder at me." — Homer Simpson

by KJKing on Dec 14, 2011 1:24 PM PST reply actions

shitting fast kinda sucks…cuz thats the only time I read stuff not on a comp……and i deprive myself

Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Dec 14, 2011 1:44 PM PST up reply actions

Have you ever akin a shit so fast

That you don’t need to wipe? I wish this happened more….wiping takes the fun out of shitting…

by Magic Head on Dec 14, 2011 2:37 PM PST via iPhone app up reply actions 2 recs

Bienvenidos.

Excellent first time comment on BoC.

Contradictory in context, yet still provocative.

"We will come with our guns blazing, and we just blazed." - Tim Leiweke

by DodgerBlueBalls on Dec 14, 2011 2:43 PM PST up reply actions

I wipe regardless all the time..for “shits” and giggles

yes welcome……sounds like your a keeper

Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Dec 14, 2011 2:53 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs

come on Rudy

i’m pretty sure you’d claim to curse better than a lot of NHLers.

You wanna tell me that to mah face?!
YET ANOTHER Detroit Red Wings blog.

by uvgt2bkdnme on Dec 14, 2011 1:45 PM PST via iPhone app reply actions

probally better than perry at least

Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Dec 14, 2011 1:45 PM PST up reply actions

i’m pretty sure you’d claim to curse better than a lot of NHLers.

Not after last year’s 24/7.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Dec 14, 2011 1:49 PM PST up reply actions

Fuck you, Cookie, you motherfucker!

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Dec 14, 2011 1:49 PM PST up reply actions

I’m sure you could beat him with goalie skates on too.

by ScottyKnows on Dec 14, 2011 3:47 PM PST reply actions

roller goalie skates on ice even.

by ScottyKnows on Dec 14, 2011 3:47 PM PST up reply actions

Aww, you’re so pretty.

GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com; contributor - Anaheim Calling
SKeleven on Twitter

by SK eleven on Dec 14, 2011 3:52 PM PST via iPhone app reply actions

Rudy

President of the Brent Burns Robotic Sex-Pants Fan Club.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Dec 14, 2011 5:03 PM PST up reply actions 2 recs

I know what you’re trying to do and it’s not working. Nope, not at all.

(*cuts self)

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Dec 14, 2011 5:11 PM PST up reply actions

Have you been keeping up with your lunges, Rudy?

It is that thing that I sent to you.

by whine_country on Dec 14, 2011 3:56 PM PST reply actions 1 recs

Lunges was too hard. Rudy’s now seeing how many lozenges he can do in a day.

www.battleofcali.com

by Earl Sleek on Dec 14, 2011 4:44 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs

I was figuring he was more of a 44D type of guy…

It is that thing that I sent to you.

by whine_country on Dec 14, 2011 9:45 PM PST up reply actions

Let’s get Luc out there too, I’m pretty sure that at 45 years old and with 2 left feet he could beat Trent Hunter.

My dad used to say all the time that he could outskate Luc. Mom and I would roll our eyes and go “Oooookay, go score hundreds of goals, then.”

Dinglebarnin' It JftC

by Niesy on Dec 14, 2011 5:51 PM PST reply actions 1 recs

It works when your team gets shut out, too. “I could have gone out there and scored 0 goals!”

If you imagine a salt shaker in your hand, tilt your head back
and act like you're shaking salt into your mouth; you will taste salt if you concentrate hard enough.

by brokenyard on Dec 14, 2011 10:00 PM PST reply actions 1 recs

oh hey – I hear there is freeway trouble down south – any of you guys affected by it?

any of you guys cause it?

GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)

by Angy on Dec 14, 2011 10:32 PM PST reply actions

Maggie and Rudy broke up.

by ScottyKnows on Dec 15, 2011 9:41 AM PST up reply actions

I'm glad a telecommute

They’re saying the 60 Freeway should be open tomorrow. So that will make three days with one of the region’s two most-travelled east-west arteries blocked off in both directions. I think the spillover effect from people taking alternate routes will be felt by a lot of people.

"I think you just outed yourself as Dean Lombardi. I knew it all along." — Rudy Kelly

by DougX on Dec 17, 2011 1:12 AM PST up reply actions