Week 7 BOC Fantasy Recap

by Diamondback15 on Dec 2, 2011 10:55 AM PST

Rank	Team	W-L-T	Pct	Div	Pts	Last Week	Waiver	Moves
Sacco
2.	BROWS	59-33-13	.624	25-16-4	131	10-3-2	9	1
8.	Team Quake	45-43-17	.510	23-24-13	107	4-9-2	10	21
12.	Anzeholics Anonymous	44-49-12	.476	23-18-4	100	8-5-2	5	3
14.	Some Witty Pun	40-50-15	.452	13-23-9	95	7-7-1	16	4
16.	Teal Blades	38-52-15	.433	16-19-10	91	6-8-1	1	2
Sandström
1.	Brain and Braun	62-30-13	.652	26-12-7	137	12-2-1	8	3
11.	Certified Ninjas	44-49-12	.476	31-22-7	100	10-4-1	12	7
17.	Keepem on the Island	40-55-10	.429	8-35-2	90	4-10-1	7	11
18.	UNSC Guiding Light	36-57-12	.400	24-18-3	84	6-6-3	3	21
19.	Kitten Mittons	34-57-14	.390	18-20-7	82	6-7-2	13	7
Friesen
3.	Bearodactyls	58-34-13	.614	24-16-5	129	5-8-2	17	10
4.	Rule 64	56-33-16	.610	30-22-8	128	9-6-0	6	3
6.	Team Tugboat	48-35-22	.562	19-15-11	118	8-6-1	11	1
9.	Fournick Gators	45-46-14	.495	13-27-5	104	7-6-2	2	2
10.	Sleek and Destroy	45-46-14	.495	16-22-7	104	6-9-0	4	9
Granato
5.	The Snuffle Bunnies	53-35-17	.586	30-10-5	123	6-6-3	14	4
7.	Sir Mitchellot	51-41-13	.548	21-18-6	115	2-12-1	20	8
13.	Windy City Frostbite	40-50-15	.452	17-23-5	95	7-7-1	18	7
15.	PICKLESNAKE!!!	41-52-12	.448	20-24-1	94	9-4-2	15	7
20.	spades lil bandito's	30-62-13	.348	20-33-7	73	3-10-2	19	7

Weekly Recap

This guy Sidney Crosby is back, I've heard he's pretty good. I don't know, it wasn't really in the news that much. The Ducks are the worst team in the league, if you have Ducks fan friend, you need to watch their alcohol content, we don't want them doing something do cause harm to themselves or others, however if its harmless and hilarious then by all means let them do it. Fire Carlyle.

This week saw everything, from blowouts to ties to upsets to the Ducks becoming less relevant than the Blue Jackets.

Brain and Braun now leads the league and has a seemingly insurmountable lead in the Sandstrom Division, which also happens to be the worst division, I wonder if they are related........ well, no, they aren't actually because pooponastick pretty much destroys who ever challenges him.

Premier Matchup

Brain and Braun vs Sir Mitchellot

Two of the top teams faceoff (hockey pun) and the Brains and the Brauns emerge victorious in a blowout. Justin Braun killed the Bumpasaurus in glorious combat and then kept its skull as a trophy.

	G	A	+/-	PIM	PPP	SHP	GWG	SOG	FW	GS	W	L	GAA	SV%	SHO	Score
Brain and Braun	11	6	8	36	6	1	1	88	70	4	3	0	1.49	.939	1	12
Sir Mitchellot	8	11	4	14	2	0	0	73	94	4	1	2	2.73	.908	0	2

As you can see, this was a blowout. Grace, Niesy, Sir Mitchellot and the Bumpasaurus had no answer to the Brain and the offensive dynamo of Justin Braun. As a result, Braun and the Brain are now one step closer to world domination.

1st Star: Jeff Carter, with 2 G, 2 A, +4, 4PIM, 2 PPP, 14 SOG, and 41 FW he was a huge contributor to Pooponastick's team, and rightly earns the first star for his across the board contributions.

2nd Star: Cal Clutterbuck contributed across the board for Braun, with 2 G, +1, 6PIM, 1 PPP, 1 SHP, 1GWG, and 12 SOG. He singlehandedly won 2 categories, so an arguement could be made for Clusterfuck being the first star.

3rd Star: Jose Theodore was big in net for shitonastick, 3 games started, 2 wins, 1 loss, 1.97GAA, and a .921 SV%.

The Biggest Loser: Cam Ward was terrible, with 4 starts but only 1 win and 2 losses, GAA of 2.73, SV% of .908, and no shutouts. He lost all categories except games started.

Reasons for Victory: Pinky and the Brain + Justin Braun>Bumpasaurus

Fire Carlyle vs Rule 64

Sleek loses 9-6 and as punishment has to deal with Carlyle for another month

	G	A	+/-	PIM	PPP	SHP	GWG	SOG	FW	GS	W	L	GAA	SV%	SHO	Score
Sleek and Destroy	8	8	4	23	5	0	2	61	117	7	3	1	1.93	.926	0	6
Rule 64	6	17	8	26	6	2	1	83	63	6	4	2	1.99	.941	1	9

This was a battle of the goalies here. Sleek and Destroy has Lehtonen and Quick, 2 great starters and 2 good backups in Bobrovsky and Lindback. Rule 64 has Tim Thomas AND Nikolai Khabibulin on his team, who the fuck let this happen?! Oh, and he has Varlamov too, he's ok I guess.

1st Star: Tim Thomas was absolutely stellar, winning all three games he started, with a 1.62 GAA and .954 SV% and 1 Shutout, he was the anchor for Rule 64. It's become blatantly obvious that Thomas is a Space Marine.

2nd Star: Radim Vrbata was Rule 64's best offensive producer with 3 G, 1 A, 1 PPP, 1 SHP, 1 GWG, 10 SOG, and 1 FW just because he felt like it.

3rd Star: Pavel Datsyuk (of the Sharks' Bitches) held Earl in it and made it respectable. He had 2 G, 2 A, +1, 2 PPP, 1 GWG, 6 SOG, and 34 FW.

Meh: JMFJ put up zeroes except for 3 shots, so at least he wasn't a minus 7 or something, improvement perhaps?

Reasons for Victory: Carlyle tampered with Earl's team. Fire Carlyle.

Teal Blades vs Team Tugboat

Rudy and the man with the epic mustache and sideburns just manage to beat Ang in a real close one.

	G	A	+/-	PIM	PPP	SHP	GWG	SOG	FW	GS	W	L	GAA	SV%	SHO	Score
Teal Blades	8	5	-5	26	4	0	1	79	35	5	2	2	2.17	.923	0	6
Team Tugboat	6	9	-6	36	1	1	1	80	118	6	3	3	2.35	.914	1	8

1st Star: Curtis Sanford had an outstanding week for Ang and outplayed Lundqvist of Team Tugboat to steal a few points for Ang. He had 4 starts, 2 wins, 1 loss, a 1.23 GAA, and a .955 SV%.

2nd Star: Henrik Lundqvist had 3 starts, 2 wins, 1 loss, a 1.68 GAA, a .943 SV% and 1 shutout.

3rd Star: Christian Erhoff he had 1 G, 2 A, 2 PIM, 1 PPP, 1 SHP, and 10 shots for Rudy.

Meh: Troy Brouwer had only 1 shot on net.

Reasons for Victory: Rudy got more across the board contributions, with everyone he started contributing in some category, this win is amazing because Rudy must have been in a whatever mood because many players never got starts.

Picklesnake vs Team Quake

Meg gets a rare win, and a pretty decisive one at that.

	G	A	+/-	PIM	PPP	SHP	GWG	SOG	FW	GS	W	L	GAA	SV%	SHO	Score
PICKLESNAKE!!!	4	10	0	14	4	1	1	69	48	6	1	5	3.36	.899	0	9
Team Quake	9	13	-5	12	4	0	1	79	75	-	-	-	-	-	-	4

Now you see why he won.

1st Star: Meg's goalies, just for showing up to play.

2nd Star: Douchebag

3rd Star: the other douchebag (The one Rudy really hates and used to play for the Kings.)

Idiot: Quisp, for not picking a starting goaltender.

Reasons for Victory: If it isn't obvious to you now, than your dumber than Glen Sather.

Captain Awkward vs Spade's Band of Losers

Spade lost. Again. To someboody who started the same players everyday. Me thinks this is all Scott's fault.

	G	A	+/-	PIM	PPP	SHP	GWG	SOG	FW	GS	W	L	GAA	SV%	SHO	Score
BROWS	8	20	4	14	9	1	3	90	72	5	3	1	3.10	.898	1	10
spades lil bandito's	9	13	-16	16	8	1	3	95	64	4	2	2	4.41	.833	0	3

1st Star: Evgeni Malkin was an absolute beast, he scored 3 goals, had 5 assists, went +2, had 2 PIM, scored 3 PPP, scored a game winning goal, and had 18 shots and faceoff wins. He came up huge for Brows.

2nd Star: Michael Grabner was Spade's biggest contributor with 2 goals, 2 assists, 4 PIM, 1 PPP, 1 SHP, 1GWG, 16 shots, and 1 faceoff win for the hell of it.

3rd Star: Evgeni Malkin, seriously, he owned.

Hilarity: The goaltending for both teams was atrocious.

Reasons for Victory: Spade's teams sucks, ScottyKnows doesn't know, Evgeni Malkin.

Lost vs Naruto

The colorblind ninjas manage to rout that show that is running way past its expiration date.

	G	A	+/-	PIM	PPP	SHP	GWG	SOG	FW	GS	W	L	GAA	SV%	SHO	Score
Keepem on the Island	7	12	7	6	6	1	2	66	84	7	4	1	2.61	.917	0	4
Certified Ninjas	11	13	10	26	8	0	3	100	41	5	3	1	2.33	.928	2	10

Both of these teams have had an up and down season so far, and have struggled for consistency. AngryJay is hoping this will kick start a good run.

1st Star: Steven Stamkos (Certified Ninjas) had 3 G, 2 A, +3, 8 PIM, 2 PPP, 1 GWG, 11 S, and 17 FW.

2nd Star: Corey Schneider (Certified Ninjas) had 3 starts, 3 wins, .67 GAA, .978 SV%, and 2 shutouts.

3rd Star: Nicklas Backstrom (Keep em on the Island) had 2 G, 3 A, -2, 4 PIM, 1 PPP, 11 SOG, 31 FW.

Anzeholics Anonymous vs Bearodactyls

Obsessed Kopitar fans beat out bear and pterodactyl hybrids.

	G	A	+/-	PIM	PPP	SHP	GWG	SOG	FW	GS	W	L	GAA	SV%	SHO	Score
Anzeholics Anonymous	8	11	-16	17	7	0	0	95	109	6	5	1	1.65	.939	2	8
Bearodactyls	9	9	6	18	4	0	4	54	116	6	2	3	2.74	.909	0	5

1st Star: Brian Elliot (Anzeholics Anonymous) had 3 starts, 3 wins, a o.98 GAA, a .963 SV%, and 1 shutout.

2nd Star: Jonathen Taves had 3 G, 3 A, +4, 2 PIM, 1 PPP, 2 GWG, 11 SOG, and 28 FW.

3rd Star: Tomas Fleischmann had 2 G, 2 A, +3, 4 PIM, 1 PPP, 1 GWG, and 6 shots.

In the Doghouse: Kopitar's obsessed fans expect better than 1 G, -5, 1 PPP, 10 shots, and 21 FW. Bearodactyls goalies lost it for him.

Kitten Mittons vs Horny Gators

Tu Madre just manages to steal a win against nut.

	G	A	+/-	PIM	PPP	SHP	GWG	SOG	FW	GS	W	L	GAA	SV%	SHO	Score
Kitten Mittons	7	16	3	20	3	0	2	72	67	4	3	1	2.33	.912	0	6
Fournick Gators	8	14	13	24	8	1	1	78	84	2	0	1	5.38	.825	0	7

1st Star: Sydney Crosby (Kitten Mittons) had 2 G, 6 A, +7, 8 PIM, 2 PPP, 1 GWG, 15 SOG, and 53 FW. That sound you hear, that's the media and the NHL fapping.

2nd Star: Mathieu Garon (Kitten Mittons) had 2 starts and 2 wins, a 1.31 GAA, and a .944 SV%.

3rd Star: Stephen Weiss (Fournick Gators) had 1 G, 3 A, +3, 4 PIM, 1 SHP, 13 SOG, and 40 FW.

Reasons for Victory: Only Sidney Crosby and a couple others produced for Nut, while Tu Madre had across the board contributions.

Some Witty Pun vs Windy City Frostbite

A Tie......BORING!!!

	G	A	+/-	PIM	PPP	SHP	GWG	SOG	FW	GS	W	L	GAA	SV%	SHO	Score
Some Witty Pun	3	19	-9	20	7	0	1	82	42	4	3	1	2.22	.920	0	7
Windy City Frostbite	11	11	-1	16	4	2	3	88	76	4	2	2	3.20	.906	1	7

UNSC Guiding Light vs The Snuffle Bunnies

Fuck you yahoo, you fucked with my team and stole a win from me.

	G	A	+/-	PIM	PPP	SHP	GWG	SOG	FW	GS	W	L	GAA	SV%	SHO	Score
UNSC Guiding Light	9	18	7	20	7	0	0	84	62	2	1	1	1.52	.939	0	6
The Snuffle Bunnies	7	13	8	14	5	0	3	95	80	3	2	1	2.35	.908	0	6

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Comments

I apologize for the rush at the end. I procrastinated like a boss this week.

I promise I’ll do better next week.

I'm warning you! I have ADHD and I know how to use it!!!
Good job Giants, now win 3 more world series titles and then you just might be worthy of being mentioned in the same league as the A's.
THAT IS NABOKOV IN NET NOT NITTYMAKISHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!
San Jose: Being Kept save from ferocious enemies by the Sharks and Earthquakes since 91 and 96.

by Diamondback15 on Dec 2, 2011 10:56 AM PST reply actions

You’re already settling into the BoC groove of procrastination — I like it.

www.battleofcali.com

by Earl Sleek on Dec 2, 2011 11:11 AM PST up reply actions

Its infectious.

I was also to lazy to change this

Sleek loses 9-6 and as punishment has to deal with Carlyle for another month

once Carlyle got fired.

by Diamondback15 on Dec 2, 2011 12:48 PM PST up reply actions

Thanks for posting this, DB15. Brian Elliot owns.

"We will come with our guns blazing, and we just blazed." - Tim Leiweke

by DodgerBlueBalls on Dec 2, 2011 11:41 AM PST reply actions

Ties suck.

Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
"Pavs with great feed but what a release by Wingels Peanut Butter Baby!"" - Jamie Baker

by PNK on Dec 2, 2011 11:48 AM PST reply actions