FanPost

Week 7 BOC Fantasy Recap

Rank Team W-L-T Pct Div Pts Last Week Waiver Moves
Sacco
2. BROWS 59-33-13 .624 25-16-4 131 10-3-2 9 1
8. Team Quake 45-43-17 .510 23-24-13 107 4-9-2 10 21
12. Anzeholics Anonymous 44-49-12 .476 23-18-4 100 8-5-2 5 3
14. Some Witty Pun 40-50-15 .452 13-23-9 95 7-7-1 16 4
16. Teal Blades 38-52-15 .433 16-19-10 91 6-8-1 1 2
Sandström
1. Brain and Braun 62-30-13 .652 26-12-7 137 12-2-1 8 3
11. Certified Ninjas 44-49-12 .476 31-22-7 100 10-4-1 12 7
17. Keepem on the Island 40-55-10 .429 8-35-2 90 4-10-1 7 11
18. UNSC Guiding Light 36-57-12 .400 24-18-3 84 6-6-3 3 21
19. Kitten Mittons 34-57-14 .390 18-20-7 82 6-7-2 13 7
Friesen
3. Bearodactyls 58-34-13 .614 24-16-5 129 5-8-2 17 10
4. Rule 64 56-33-16 .610 30-22-8 128 9-6-0 6 3
6. Team Tugboat 48-35-22 .562 19-15-11 118 8-6-1 11 1
9. Fournick Gators 45-46-14 .495 13-27-5 104 7-6-2 2 2
10. Sleek and Destroy 45-46-14 .495 16-22-7 104 6-9-0 4 9
Granato
5. The Snuffle Bunnies 53-35-17 .586 30-10-5 123 6-6-3 14 4
7. Sir Mitchellot 51-41-13 .548 21-18-6 115 2-12-1 20 8
13. Windy City Frostbite 40-50-15 .452 17-23-5 95 7-7-1 18 7
15. PICKLESNAKE!!! 41-52-12 .448 20-24-1 94 9-4-2 15 7
20. spades lil bandito's 30-62-13 .348 20-33-7 73 3-10-2 19 7

Weekly Recap

This guy Sidney Crosby is back, I've heard he's pretty good. I don't know, it wasn't really in the news that much. The Ducks are the worst team in the league, if you have Ducks fan friend, you need to watch their alcohol content, we don't want them doing something do cause harm to themselves or others, however if its harmless and hilarious then by all means let them do it. Fire Carlyle.

This week saw everything, from blowouts to ties to upsets to the Ducks becoming less relevant than the Blue Jackets.

Brain and Braun now leads the league and has a seemingly insurmountable lead in the Sandstrom Division, which also happens to be the worst division, I wonder if they are related........ well, no, they aren't actually because pooponastick pretty much destroys who ever challenges him.

Premier Matchup

Brain and Braun vs Sir Mitchellot

Two of the top teams faceoff (hockey pun) and the Brains and the Brauns emerge victorious in a blowout. Justin Braun killed the Bumpasaurus in glorious combat and then kept its skull as a trophy.

G A +/- PIM PPP SHP GWG SOG FW GS W L GAA SV% SHO Score
Brain and Braun 11 6 8 36 6 1 1 88 70 4 3 0 1.49 .939 1 12
Sir Mitchellot 8 11 4 14 2 0 0 73 94 4 1 2 2.73 .908 0

2

As you can see, this was a blowout. Grace, Niesy, Sir Mitchellot and the Bumpasaurus had no answer to the Brain and the offensive dynamo of Justin Braun. As a result, Braun and the Brain are now one step closer to world domination.

1st Star: Jeff Carter, with 2 G, 2 A, +4, 4PIM, 2 PPP, 14 SOG, and 41 FW he was a huge contributor to Pooponastick's team, and rightly earns the first star for his across the board contributions.

2nd Star: Cal Clutterbuck contributed across the board for Braun, with 2 G, +1, 6PIM, 1 PPP, 1 SHP, 1GWG, and 12 SOG. He singlehandedly won 2 categories, so an arguement could be made for Clusterfuck being the first star.

3rd Star: Jose Theodore was big in net for shitonastick, 3 games started, 2 wins, 1 loss, 1.97GAA, and a .921 SV%.

The Biggest Loser: Cam Ward was terrible, with 4 starts but only 1 win and 2 losses, GAA of 2.73, SV% of .908, and no shutouts. He lost all categories except games started.

Reasons for Victory: Pinky and the Brain + Justin Braun>Bumpasaurus

Fire Carlyle vs Rule 64

Sleek loses 9-6 and as punishment has to deal with Carlyle for another month


G A +/- PIM PPP SHP GWG SOG FW GS W L GAA SV% SHO Score
Sleek and Destroy 8 8 4 23 5 0 2 61 117 7 3 1 1.93 .926 0 6
Rule 64 6 17 8 26 6 2 1 83 63 6 4 2 1.99 .941 1 9

This was a battle of the goalies here. Sleek and Destroy has Lehtonen and Quick, 2 great starters and 2 good backups in Bobrovsky and Lindback. Rule 64 has Tim Thomas AND Nikolai Khabibulin on his team, who the fuck let this happen?! Oh, and he has Varlamov too, he's ok I guess.

1st Star: Tim Thomas was absolutely stellar, winning all three games he started, with a 1.62 GAA and .954 SV% and 1 Shutout, he was the anchor for Rule 64. It's become blatantly obvious that Thomas is a Space Marine.

2nd Star: Radim Vrbata was Rule 64's best offensive producer with 3 G, 1 A, 1 PPP, 1 SHP, 1 GWG, 10 SOG, and 1 FW just because he felt like it.

3rd Star: Pavel Datsyuk (of the Sharks' Bitches) held Earl in it and made it respectable. He had 2 G, 2 A, +1, 2 PPP, 1 GWG, 6 SOG, and 34 FW.

Meh: JMFJ put up zeroes except for 3 shots, so at least he wasn't a minus 7 or something, improvement perhaps?

Reasons for Victory: Carlyle tampered with Earl's team. Fire Carlyle.

Teal Blades vs Team Tugboat

Rudy and the man with the epic mustache and sideburns just manage to beat Ang in a real close one.

G A +/- PIM PPP SHP GWG SOG FW GS W L GAA SV% SHO Score
Teal Blades 8 5 -5 26 4 0 1 79 35 5 2 2 2.17 .923 0 6
Team Tugboat 6 9 -6 36 1 1 1 80 118 6 3 3 2.35 .914 1 8

1st Star: Curtis Sanford had an outstanding week for Ang and outplayed Lundqvist of Team Tugboat to steal a few points for Ang. He had 4 starts, 2 wins, 1 loss, a 1.23 GAA, and a .955 SV%.

2nd Star: Henrik Lundqvist had 3 starts, 2 wins, 1 loss, a 1.68 GAA, a .943 SV% and 1 shutout.

3rd Star: Christian Erhoff he had 1 G, 2 A, 2 PIM, 1 PPP, 1 SHP, and 10 shots for Rudy.

Meh: Troy Brouwer had only 1 shot on net.

Reasons for Victory: Rudy got more across the board contributions, with everyone he started contributing in some category, this win is amazing because Rudy must have been in a whatever mood because many players never got starts.

Picklesnake vs Team Quake

Meg gets a rare win, and a pretty decisive one at that.

G A +/- PIM PPP SHP GWG SOG FW GS W L GAA SV% SHO Score
PICKLESNAKE!!! 4 10 0 14 4 1 1 69 48 6 1 5 3.36 .899 0 9
Team Quake 9 13 -5 12 4 0 1 79 75 - - - - - - 4

Now you see why he won.

1st Star: Meg's goalies, just for showing up to play.

2nd Star: Douchebag

3rd Star: the other douchebag (The one Rudy really hates and used to play for the Kings.)

Idiot: Quisp, for not picking a starting goaltender.

Reasons for Victory: If it isn't obvious to you now, than your dumber than Glen Sather.

Captain Awkward vs Spade's Band of Losers

Spade lost. Again. To someboody who started the same players everyday. Me thinks this is all Scott's fault.

G A +/- PIM PPP SHP GWG SOG FW GS W L GAA SV% SHO Score
BROWS 8 20 4 14 9 1 3 90 72 5 3 1 3.10 .898 1 10
spades lil bandito's 9 13 -16 16 8 1 3 95 64 4 2 2 4.41 .833 0 3

1st Star: Evgeni Malkin was an absolute beast, he scored 3 goals, had 5 assists, went +2, had 2 PIM, scored 3 PPP, scored a game winning goal, and had 18 shots and faceoff wins. He came up huge for Brows.

2nd Star: Michael Grabner was Spade's biggest contributor with 2 goals, 2 assists, 4 PIM, 1 PPP, 1 SHP, 1GWG, 16 shots, and 1 faceoff win for the hell of it.

3rd Star: Evgeni Malkin, seriously, he owned.

Hilarity: The goaltending for both teams was atrocious.

Reasons for Victory: Spade's teams sucks, ScottyKnows doesn't know, Evgeni Malkin.

Lost vs Naruto

The colorblind ninjas manage to rout that show that is running way past its expiration date.

G A +/- PIM PPP SHP GWG SOG FW GS W L GAA SV% SHO Score
Keepem on the Island 7 12 7 6 6 1 2 66 84 7 4 1 2.61 .917 0 4
Certified Ninjas 11 13 10 26 8 0 3 100 41 5 3 1 2.33 .928 2 10

Both of these teams have had an up and down season so far, and have struggled for consistency. AngryJay is hoping this will kick start a good run.

1st Star: Steven Stamkos (Certified Ninjas) had 3 G, 2 A, +3, 8 PIM, 2 PPP, 1 GWG, 11 S, and 17 FW.

2nd Star: Corey Schneider (Certified Ninjas) had 3 starts, 3 wins, .67 GAA, .978 SV%, and 2 shutouts.

3rd Star: Nicklas Backstrom (Keep em on the Island) had 2 G, 3 A, -2, 4 PIM, 1 PPP, 11 SOG, 31 FW.

Anzeholics Anonymous vs Bearodactyls

Obsessed Kopitar fans beat out bear and pterodactyl hybrids.

G A +/- PIM PPP SHP GWG SOG FW GS W L GAA SV% SHO Score
Anzeholics Anonymous 8 11 -16 17 7 0 0 95 109 6 5 1 1.65 .939 2 8
Bearodactyls 9 9 6 18 4 0 4 54 116 6 2 3 2.74 .909 0 5

1st Star: Brian Elliot (Anzeholics Anonymous) had 3 starts, 3 wins, a o.98 GAA, a .963 SV%, and 1 shutout.

2nd Star: Jonathen Taves had 3 G, 3 A, +4, 2 PIM, 1 PPP, 2 GWG, 11 SOG, and 28 FW.

3rd Star: Tomas Fleischmann had 2 G, 2 A, +3, 4 PIM, 1 PPP, 1 GWG, and 6 shots.

In the Doghouse: Kopitar's obsessed fans expect better than 1 G, -5, 1 PPP, 10 shots, and 21 FW. Bearodactyls goalies lost it for him.

Kitten Mittons vs Horny Gators

Tu Madre just manages to steal a win against nut.

G A +/- PIM PPP SHP GWG SOG FW GS W L GAA SV% SHO Score
Kitten Mittons 7 16 3 20 3 0 2 72 67 4 3 1 2.33 .912 0 6
Fournick Gators 8 14 13 24 8 1 1 78 84 2 0 1 5.38 .825 0 7

1st Star: Sydney Crosby (Kitten Mittons) had 2 G, 6 A, +7, 8 PIM, 2 PPP, 1 GWG, 15 SOG, and 53 FW. That sound you hear, that's the media and the NHL fapping.

2nd Star: Mathieu Garon (Kitten Mittons) had 2 starts and 2 wins, a 1.31 GAA, and a .944 SV%.

3rd Star: Stephen Weiss (Fournick Gators) had 1 G, 3 A, +3, 4 PIM, 1 SHP, 13 SOG, and 40 FW.

Reasons for Victory: Only Sidney Crosby and a couple others produced for Nut, while Tu Madre had across the board contributions.

Some Witty Pun vs Windy City Frostbite

A Tie......BORING!!!

G A +/- PIM PPP SHP GWG SOG FW GS W L GAA SV% SHO Score
Some Witty Pun 3 19 -9 20 7 0 1 82 42 4 3 1 2.22 .920 0 7
Windy City Frostbite 11 11 -1 16 4 2 3 88 76 4 2 2 3.20 .906 1 7

UNSC Guiding Light vs The Snuffle Bunnies

Fuck you yahoo, you fucked with my team and stole a win from me.

G A +/- PIM PPP SHP GWG SOG FW GS W L GAA SV% SHO Score
UNSC Guiding Light 9 18 7 20 7 0 0 84 62 2 1 1 1.52 .939 0 6
The Snuffle Bunnies 7 13 8 14 5 0 3 95 80 3 2 1 2.35 .908 0 6

This FanPost was posted by a fan, and it probably sucks and is dumb.

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