|14.||Some Witty Pun||40-50-15||.452||13-23-9||95||7-7-1||16||4|
|1.||Brain and Braun||62-30-13||.652||26-12-7||137||12-2-1||8||3|
|17.||Keepem on the Island||40-55-10||.429||8-35-2||90||4-10-1||7||11|
|18.||UNSC Guiding Light||36-57-12||.400||24-18-3||84||6-6-3||3||21|
|10.||Sleek and Destroy||45-46-14||.495||16-22-7||104||6-9-0||4||9|
|5.||The Snuffle Bunnies||53-35-17||.586||30-10-5||123||6-6-3||14||4|
|13.||Windy City Frostbite||40-50-15||.452||17-23-5||95||7-7-1||18||7|
|20.||spades lil bandito's||30-62-13||.348||20-33-7||73||3-10-2||19||7|
This guy Sidney Crosby is back, I've heard he's pretty good. I don't know, it wasn't really in the news that much. The Ducks are the worst team in the league, if you have Ducks fan friend, you need to watch their alcohol content, we don't want them doing something do cause harm to themselves or others, however if its harmless and hilarious then by all means let them do it. Fire Carlyle.
This week saw everything, from blowouts to ties to upsets to the Ducks becoming less relevant than the Blue Jackets.
Brain and Braun now leads the league and has a seemingly insurmountable lead in the Sandstrom Division, which also happens to be the worst division, I wonder if they are related........ well, no, they aren't actually because pooponastick pretty much destroys who ever challenges him.
Brain and Braun vs Sir Mitchellot
Two of the top teams faceoff (hockey pun) and the Brains and the Brauns emerge victorious in a blowout. Justin Braun killed the Bumpasaurus in glorious combat and then kept its skull as a trophy.
|Brain and Braun||11||6||8||36||6||1||1||88||70||4||3||0||1.49||.939||1||12|
As you can see, this was a blowout. Grace, Niesy, Sir Mitchellot and the Bumpasaurus had no answer to the Brain and the offensive dynamo of Justin Braun. As a result, Braun and the Brain are now one step closer to world domination.
1st Star: Jeff Carter, with 2 G, 2 A, +4, 4PIM, 2 PPP, 14 SOG, and 41 FW he was a huge contributor to Pooponastick's team, and rightly earns the first star for his across the board contributions.
2nd Star: Cal Clutterbuck contributed across the board for Braun, with 2 G, +1, 6PIM, 1 PPP, 1 SHP, 1GWG, and 12 SOG. He singlehandedly won 2 categories, so an arguement could be made for Clusterfuck being the first star.
3rd Star: Jose Theodore was big in net for shitonastick, 3 games started, 2 wins, 1 loss, 1.97GAA, and a .921 SV%.
The Biggest Loser: Cam Ward was terrible, with 4 starts but only 1 win and 2 losses, GAA of 2.73, SV% of .908, and no shutouts. He lost all categories except games started.
Reasons for Victory: Pinky and the Brain + Justin Braun>BumpasaurusFire Carlyle vs Rule 64
Sleek loses 9-6 and as punishment has to deal with Carlyle for another month
|Sleek and Destroy||8||8||4||23||5||0||2||61||117||7||3||1||1.93||.926||0||6|
This was a battle of the goalies here. Sleek and Destroy has Lehtonen and Quick, 2 great starters and 2 good backups in Bobrovsky and Lindback. Rule 64 has Tim Thomas AND Nikolai Khabibulin on his team, who the fuck let this happen?! Oh, and he has Varlamov too, he's ok I guess.
1st Star: Tim Thomas was absolutely stellar, winning all three games he started, with a 1.62 GAA and .954 SV% and 1 Shutout, he was the anchor for Rule 64. It's become blatantly obvious that Thomas is a Space Marine.
2nd Star: Radim Vrbata was Rule 64's best offensive producer with 3 G, 1 A, 1 PPP, 1 SHP, 1 GWG, 10 SOG, and 1 FW just because he felt like it.
Meh: JMFJ put up zeroes except for 3 shots, so at least he wasn't a minus 7 or something, improvement perhaps?
Reasons for Victory: Carlyle tampered with Earl's team. Fire Carlyle.
Teal Blades vs Team Tugboat
Rudy and the man with the epic mustache and sideburns just manage to beat Ang in a real close one.
1st Star: Curtis Sanford had an outstanding week for Ang and outplayed Lundqvist of Team Tugboat to steal a few points for Ang. He had 4 starts, 2 wins, 1 loss, a 1.23 GAA, and a .955 SV%.
2nd Star: Henrik Lundqvist had 3 starts, 2 wins, 1 loss, a 1.68 GAA, a .943 SV% and 1 shutout.
3rd Star: Christian Erhoff he had 1 G, 2 A, 2 PIM, 1 PPP, 1 SHP, and 10 shots for Rudy.
Meh: Troy Brouwer had only 1 shot on net.
Reasons for Victory: Rudy got more across the board contributions, with everyone he started contributing in some category, this win is amazing because Rudy must have been in a whatever mood because many players never got starts.
Picklesnake vs Team Quake
Meg gets a rare win, and a pretty decisive one at that.
Now you see why he won.
1st Star: Meg's goalies, just for showing up to play.
2nd Star: Douchebag
3rd Star: the other douchebag (The one Rudy really hates and used to play for the Kings.)
Idiot: Quisp, for not picking a starting goaltender.
Reasons for Victory: If it isn't obvious to you now, than your dumber than Glen Sather.
Captain Awkward vs Spade's Band of Losers
Spade lost. Again. To someboody who started the same players everyday. Me thinks this is all Scott's fault.
|spades lil bandito's||9||13||-16||16||8||1||3||95||64||4||2||2||4.41||.833||0||3|
1st Star: Evgeni Malkin was an absolute beast, he scored 3 goals, had 5 assists, went +2, had 2 PIM, scored 3 PPP, scored a game winning goal, and had 18 shots and faceoff wins. He came up huge for Brows.
2nd Star: Michael Grabner was Spade's biggest contributor with 2 goals, 2 assists, 4 PIM, 1 PPP, 1 SHP, 1GWG, 16 shots, and 1 faceoff win for the hell of it.
3rd Star: Evgeni Malkin, seriously, he owned.
Hilarity: The goaltending for both teams was atrocious.
Reasons for Victory: Spade's teams sucks, ScottyKnows doesn't know, Evgeni Malkin.
Lost vs Naruto
The colorblind ninjas manage to rout that show that is running way past its expiration date.
|Keepem on the Island||7||12||7||6||6||1||2||66||84||7||4||1||2.61||.917||0||4|
Both of these teams have had an up and down season so far, and have struggled for consistency. AngryJay is hoping this will kick start a good run.
1st Star: Steven Stamkos (Certified Ninjas) had 3 G, 2 A, +3, 8 PIM, 2 PPP, 1 GWG, 11 S, and 17 FW.
2nd Star: Corey Schneider (Certified Ninjas) had 3 starts, 3 wins, .67 GAA, .978 SV%, and 2 shutouts.
3rd Star: Nicklas Backstrom (Keep em on the Island) had 2 G, 3 A, -2, 4 PIM, 1 PPP, 11 SOG, 31 FW.
Anzeholics Anonymous vs Bearodactyls
Obsessed Kopitar fans beat out bear and pterodactyl hybrids.
1st Star: Brian Elliot (Anzeholics Anonymous) had 3 starts, 3 wins, a o.98 GAA, a .963 SV%, and 1 shutout.
2nd Star: Jonathen Taves had 3 G, 3 A, +4, 2 PIM, 1 PPP, 2 GWG, 11 SOG, and 28 FW.
3rd Star: Tomas Fleischmann had 2 G, 2 A, +3, 4 PIM, 1 PPP, 1 GWG, and 6 shots.
In the Doghouse: Kopitar's obsessed fans expect better than 1 G, -5, 1 PPP, 10 shots, and 21 FW. Bearodactyls goalies lost it for him.
Kitten Mittons vs Horny Gators
Tu Madre just manages to steal a win against nut.
1st Star: Sydney Crosby (Kitten Mittons) had 2 G, 6 A, +7, 8 PIM, 2 PPP, 1 GWG, 15 SOG, and 53 FW. That sound you hear, that's the media and the NHL fapping.
2nd Star: Mathieu Garon (Kitten Mittons) had 2 starts and 2 wins, a 1.31 GAA, and a .944 SV%.
3rd Star: Stephen Weiss (Fournick Gators) had 1 G, 3 A, +3, 4 PIM, 1 SHP, 13 SOG, and 40 FW.
Reasons for Victory: Only Sidney Crosby and a couple others produced for Nut, while Tu Madre had across the board contributions.
Some Witty Pun vs Windy City Frostbite
|Some Witty Pun||3||19||-9||20||7||0||1||82||42||4||3||1||2.22||.920||0||7|
|Windy City Frostbite||11||11||-1||16||4||2||3||88||76||4||2||2||3.20||.906||1||7|
UNSC Guiding Light vs The Snuffle Bunnies
Fuck you yahoo, you fucked with my team and stole a win from me.
|UNSC Guiding Light||9||18||7||20||7||0||0||84||62||2||1||1||1.52||.939||0||6|
|The Snuffle Bunnies||7||13||8||14||5||0||3||95||80||3||2||1||2.35||.908||0||6|