BoC Gameday -- Curses: A Cautionary Tale

by Earl Sleek on Dec 22, 2011 9:00 AM PST

Anaheim Ducks (Carlyleless) at Los Angeles Kings (Murrayless), 7 pm
Anaheim Calling and Jewels From The Crown -- new coaches, same silliness.

(Author's note: Oops -- I'm out of time. This story isn't fully illustrated and really doesn't make sense, but whatever -- enjoy nevertheless! :) )

Once upon a time, there lived a duck and a king. They were neighbors who grew to despise each other, especially once the duck started experiencing success. The king fumed with jealousy.

Finally, he decided to express his rage to the Hockey God, who decided to help the king out.

The Hockey God allowed the king to look into the magical Book of Curses to exact some sort of revenge. "But beware," warned the Hockey God. "Revenge can feel sweet, but it may cause your own undoing as well. Cast a curse at your own peril."

The king was committed to his anger, though, and found a curse that seemed perfect for his task. The Curse of Past Possessions would render anything that the king used to own useless for the duck. "Now the duck will truly suffer," sneered the angry king.

The king chanted the curse and then spilled some of his own blood into the chalice of pain. And instantly, the curse took effect. The Wand of the Rat, which once had belonged to the king, was stripped of its power. So too was the Mustached Cloak of Parros. And even the Sword of Lubomir -- all which had once belonged to the king was cursed. And the duck suffered.

While the curse did have its effect on the duck, what the king didn't realize was the curse was double-edged. Suddenly the king found that his Penner Shield, which had once been property of the duck, was useless to him. And as the duck continued to suffer, the king found that his own suffering mirrored his web-footed neighbor's -- their fates were suddenly tied to each other.

In desperation, the duck himself sought council from the Hockey God, who instructed the duck in how to end the king's curse -- he had to acquire one other former possession of the king. Once that was accomplished, then the king's other possessions could regain their power.

So, the duck acquired Coach Kirby, which had once belonged to the king.

And while the suffering did continue for the duck, his fortunes were slowly righting -- the Mustached Cloak of Parros regained its power, along with the Sword of Lubomir. And the Wand of the Rat wasn't too far away...

In the meantime, the king was forced to mirror the duck's actions, except instead of acquiring a former duck possession, he found something that a nearby shark used to own.

And thus the curse was passed onwards. Or something. :)

Prediction: Spade gets drunk.

Go Patience.

Tweet Comment 22 comments | 1 recs |

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Comments

here’s some pic from OC of some Ducks’ visit to children hospital

the post makes enough sense :)

Мы в любовь играли,
И как кровь из вены капает слеза.

Hyvää joulua!

by sleza on Dec 22, 2011 9:30 AM PST reply actions

Basic point: every former King on the Ducks has been injured this season. :)

www.battleofcali.com

by Earl Sleek on Dec 22, 2011 9:34 AM PST via mobile up reply actions

Did you ever notice that every time someone needs to cut themselves to get some blood (like for a magic ritual or whatever) in a movie or TV show, they ALWAYS cut their hand in this way? If you think about it, the palm of your hand is just about the WORST place to cut yourself. You wouldn’t be able to do anything with that hand for a while, and the skin would constantly be shifting and the wound would be reopening. In real life it would be smarter to cut the back of your hand or your arm or something.

I think the reason they do it on the palm of the hand is because it’s easy to hide the special effects blood package they are cutting open. It really bothers me though.

President of the Brent Burns Robotic Sex-Pants Fan Club.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Dec 22, 2011 9:57 AM PST reply actions

I’ve thought this exact same thing. Sometimes followed up by “Wrapping it with a torn t-shirt/scarf/whatever wouldn’t stop the bleeding.”

Enjoying the Shady Acres of hockey blogging retirement. No, that's not the Florida Panthers.

by Mike Chen on Dec 22, 2011 10:06 AM PST up reply actions

It always happens in action movies. It’s fun to watch how often the guy uses that injured hand for the rest of the movie.

President of the Brent Burns Robotic Sex-Pants Fan Club.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Dec 22, 2011 10:10 AM PST up reply actions

the palm of your hand is fleshy, at least. I think you’d slice through tendons and render some fingers useless if you cut the back of your hand.

by meetyourmako on Dec 23, 2011 1:20 AM PST up reply actions

I think the reason they do it on the palm of the hand is because it’s easy to hide the special effects blood package they are cutting open.

That’s how I did it, too!

But I’m sure it all goes back to blood handshakes or something stupid like that.

www.battleofcali.com

by Earl Sleek on Dec 22, 2011 10:16 AM PST up reply actions

The breaking of the curse

requires the duck to get a 1st draft pick. But there is currently a shroud covering the information of which knights are out there for the duck to acquire to defend them in the future.

Let's go Ducks.

by deb d on Dec 22, 2011 10:57 AM PST reply actions

But don’t you really break a curse by washing the cursers mouth out with soap?

Let's go Ducks.

by deb d on Dec 22, 2011 11:00 AM PST reply actions

This is great. I think you might have enough material from this and your past entries to publish an actual book.

You can make their heads bleed in this one

by superfan#99 on Dec 22, 2011 12:41 PM PST reply actions

I still contend that the Ducks curse goes back to those girls who took Teemu’s chicken bones

For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.

by Nut on Dec 22, 2011 12:51 PM PST reply actions 1 recs

I still contend that the Ducks curse goes back to those girls who took Teemu’s chicken bones

HAHA right on Nut, you called it. Those girls did some kind of ritual that made Teemu more powerful while draining the rest of his teammates in the process. Specifically the younger ones (Bobby and Cam)

by Mike in OC on Dec 22, 2011 1:26 PM PST up reply actions

Spade gets drunk

Simple and accurate, can’t beat that!

by Mike in OC on Dec 22, 2011 1:27 PM PST reply actions

i was in fact….i watched the last period of it in a pub..drinkinf some brew they made called el diablo…7%….yea 2 glasses and i was pretty drunk…

Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Dec 23, 2011 6:28 PM PST up reply actions

damn … they have this game on the same channel as Florida vs Ottawa – and that game just got tied up with a minute left in 3rd

GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)

by Angy on Dec 22, 2011 7:03 PM PST reply actions

Bobby Ryan sucks

by Dixie Normus on Dec 22, 2011 9:24 PM PST reply actions

He looked good the game right after the trade talks. Since then not so much.

If you imagine a salt shaker in your hand, tilt your head back
and act like you're shaking salt into your mouth; you will taste salt if you concentrate hard enough.

by brokenyard on Dec 22, 2011 9:50 PM PST up reply actions

You know what? YOU KNOW WHAT?

If you imagine a salt shaker in your hand, tilt your head back
and act like you're shaking salt into your mouth; you will taste salt if you concentrate hard enough.

by brokenyard on Dec 22, 2011 10:03 PM PST reply actions 2 recs