"No! No! Turn it off! No Feats of Strength! I hate Festivus!" (Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)
Part I: The Airing of Grievances
The tradition of Festivus begins with the Airing of Grievances. I'm not big on complaining but I guess I'll give it a shot.
Meg- Earl tells me your writing stinks! You couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe...I lost my train of thought.
Justin Williams- You used to be cool but now you're playing like an asshole. Stop jacking off and make quicker decisions.
Matt Greene- You stink.
Jack Johnson- I'm not fooled, I know that 2nd goal against last night was your fault.
Jonathan Quick- You? You're the worst one of all.
...Just kidding, buddy, here's a bicycle. Keep up the good work!
Opposing Goaltenders- Let us score 3 goals, you dicks!
Seriously, You People- Meg covered it already but you people really are the worst.
Part II: The Feats of Strength
Brandon Segal: "Until you pin me, Kyle, Festivus is not ov-
Ow fuck get off, get off!"
Prediction: The Kings have had trouble scoring 3 goals recently but now that they're playing a bad goalie I think their bad streak will finally end. Kings win, 3-2.