DUCK OR KING? PART 2: DAN BYLSMA (updated)

Well I can't get any King to give me 5 mins of there time to write about there old players so Ill have to write for them..If any kings fan out there wants to step up shoot me an email freshtendrils4@yahoo.com (im talking to you dodger blue balls) until then I guess Ill give a half hearted case for the kings.  Hold the phones Dodger blue balls took the call...so now updated and may tip the scales in his favor...So now part 2.

Spade:

Dan freakin blysma...if your 13 you think he’s just a coach or pink stomach antacid..But no..he once donned the proud mighty ducks uniform. He’s a good specimen for these posts as he played close the same amount of games for both the kings and ducks. The biggest statistical difference being penalty minutes…with the ducks he behaved himself and matured (probably losing the nickname disco Dan…yea..that’s what the king’s players called him..what fuckin turds)…eventually earning the “A” on his sweater…he paved the way for future shutdown-PKers like phalsson and moen.. and showed the fans the value of having such a great defensive forward…so with the ducks he learned to be a leader..with the kings he was disco Dan penalty machine?...with the ducks he learned to be a champion and eventually a cup winning coach (he foresaw the ducks winning the cup I know it)…with the kings he was disco Dan and had to share the shame of being with a franchise that lost their only stanely cup appearance…no..this man is a winner….this man is a DUCK!!

Dodger Blue Balls:

Dan Bylsma’s destiny to be forever remembered as a King began when he was born in the year 1970 in Grand Rapids, Michigan. 1970 was the same year that the regents of progressive rock, KING Crimson, released their 2 most majestic albums "Lizard" and "In the Wake of Poseidon." Dan’s birthplace Grand Rapids, Michigan is the county seat of Kent County, Michigan. It is rather apropos that king-for-life Dan Bylsma would be born in Kent County when you consider the name of the first team owner of the Los Angeles Kings: Jack KENT Cooke.

After being drafted by the Jets in 1989, Dan Bylsma was never given a tryout or camp invitation by the soon-to-be relocated franchise. Bylsma was finally given a chance to play in the NHL when he was signed by the Los Angeles Kings during the 1994 offseason. Dan’s first season in the organization was spent with the IHL Roadrunners, where he honed his leadership skills and served as Team Captain. Bylsma would eventually be called up to the Kings and in 1997 he was voted to be "Most Popular Player" by the Los Angeles Kings Booster Club (although I’m sure Barry Potomski and Dmitri Khristich both demanded recounts). Dan Bylsma was loved by all Kings fans and undoubtedly would always be remembered as one of the greatest defensive Los Angles Kings’ forwards of all time.

Dan Bylsma would later make the worst mistake in his life when he signed with the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim in 2000. Bylsma probably laughed hysterically when Scott Stevens knocked the snot out of Paulina Kariya. He may have been known for chasing Wild Wing around the mascot’s room with a lit match while yelling "One more time! Pleeease, just do it once more!" Dan could never say "Coach BabCOCK" with a straight face. Bylsma was likely responsible for introducing Stephen Colleti with Kristin Cavallari. Dan Bylsma once called Del Taco a primordial stew wrapped in a tortilla served with a side of girlie-fires (maybe). The Mighty Ducks of Anaheim showed their appreciation for Dan when they ceremoniously waived Bylsma on January 10, 2004. Anaheim Mayor Jiminy Cricket declared January 11, 2004 to be "Bye-Bye Bylsma – You Never Should Have Been a Mighty Duck" Day. 

The end