Sharks Gameday: Dusty and Buddy

by Megalodon on Mar 23, 2011 6:00 AM PDT

Today I want to talk about two very different hockey players who made headlines during the past week: Joe Pavelski and Matt Cooke.

Joe Pavelski had an amazing week. He scored eleven points in four Sharks games, leading the team to three victories. Pavelski's scoring has come at a critical time for San Jose, as the team needs to continue winning to keep ahead of the rest of the highly-competitive Pacific division.

During the Sharks' most recent game against the St. Louis Blues, Pavelski appeared to score his first-ever hat trick, but Joe argued that he never touched the puck on one of the goals awarded to him and the goal was eventually correctly attributed to Patrick Marleau.

Matt Cooke tried to kill a guy. He's also previously done all these terrible things. His most recent infraction has gotten him suspended for the rest of the season and the first round of the playoffs, putting his banged-up team down another player for the stretch run and what will most likely be a difficult first-round match-up.

Over the past few seasons no player has been at the center of more controversy than Matt Cooke. He bears more responsibility than any other single player for the league's bad image when it comes to head shots and discipline. He has injured several players with his reckless and malicious play, and is lucky he hasn't killed someone yet.

Joe Pavelski and Matt Cooke couldn't be more different. Here are just a few examples of the differences between them:

- Matt Cooke has 129 penalty minutes. Joe Pavelski only has 22.

- Joe Pavelski plays center. Matt Cooke plays left wing.

- Joe Pavelski helps people with disabilities. Matt Cooke gives people disabilities.

- Joe Pavelski helps old ladies cross the street. Matt Cooke slough-foots them and steals their coin purses.

- Matt Cooke elbows people in the head. Joe Pavelski serves elbow macaroni to homeless veterans.

- Joe Pavelski was named "Nicest Guy" in his high-school year book. Matt Cooke wasn't named anything because they don't have yearbooks in Juvenile Detention Centers.

- Matt Cooke kneed Alex Ovechkin. Joe Pavelski has a niece named Alexis.

- Joe Pavelski buys Girl Scout cookies every year. Matt Cooke isn't allowed within 500 yards of any Girl Scouts.

But wait - there's more!

- Matt Cooke targets heads. Joe Pavelski heads to Target for low prices on quality merchandise.

- Joe Pavelski sacrifices his own goals for the benefit of others. Matt Cooke sacrifices his own goats on a blood-stained altar in the Penguins locker room.

- Matt Cooke gets suspended. Joe Pavelski bought a pair of suspenders as a gift, and it was the best birthday present Patrick Marleau ever received.

- Joe Pavelski tips the Zamboni driver. Matt Cooke trips him.

- Joe Pavelski visits sick kids in the hospital. Matt Cooke does too, but only to laugh and steal their pain medication.

- Matt Cooke is a repeat offender. Joe Pavelski loves watching repeats of The Defenders.

- Joe Pavelski set up a youth hockey rink for underprivileged kids. Matt Cooke runs an unlicensed day care center out of a rusty shack in his backyard.

- Matt Cooke has been disciplined by the league five times. Joe Pavelski has five adorable puppies.

- Joe Pavelski is the NHL player of the week, will set a new career high for points this season, and is a playoff hero. Matt Cooke is an asshole.

Next Game

Calgary Flames
@ San Jose Sharks

Wednesday, Mar 23, 2011, 7:00 PM PDT
HP Pavilion

Complete Coverage >

Prediction: Sharks win 4-2. Kent Huskins registers four points after Joe Pavelski tells the scorers to give all his points to someone less fortunate.

Tweet Comment 64 comments | 4 recs |

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Comments

HAHA well done…now go beat the flames assholes

Joe Pavelski buys Girl Scout cookies every year. Matt Cooke isn’t allowed within 500 yards of any Girl Scouts.

is rudy really matt cooke?

Meg bows down to my fantasy greatness
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
Go Ducks!
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Mar 23, 2011 6:15 AM PDT reply actions

GO SHARKS!

Matt Cooke is an asshole

That sums it up nicely.

See you guys in a few days. (assuming I make it on the flight)

GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
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by Angy on Mar 23, 2011 6:23 AM PDT reply actions

is rudy really matt cooke?

Matt Cooke is an asshole

Maybe you’re on to something…

For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.

by Nut on Mar 23, 2011 7:03 AM PDT up reply actions 2 recs

Well … didn’t make the flight … :(

by Angy on Mar 23, 2011 9:05 AM PDT up reply actions

Haha, that’s dedication!

www.battleofcali.com

by Earl Sleek on Mar 23, 2011 9:06 AM PDT up reply actions

ha ha … I’m actually annoyed … my mom is trying to get herself checked out of the hospital before she should … if I wasn’t unemployed, I would buy a damn ticket vs flying standby (and I haven’t bought a ticket since ‘89) … I’ll just have to try in a couple weeks and deal with my mom’s crap then … ugh!

/ok I’m clearly annoyed … :)

by Angy on Mar 23, 2011 9:08 AM PDT up reply actions

How do you pull this off? Show up at the airport and say, “I’ll give you $100 if you let me fly to …?”

Jon Casey fan since '84
Tweet me or Read me, but you WILL HEAR my opinion, damnit.

by stufflife on Mar 23, 2011 12:16 PM PDT up reply actions

It’s all bout connections … :)

/nah … working for an airline or knowing those who do has it’s perks … but as you can see by me not making the flight, it has it’s downfall as well

by Angy on Mar 23, 2011 12:38 PM PDT up reply actions

Let me guess, Matt Cooke showed up to elbow you in the face?

Then Pavelski bandaged you up and drove you to the hospital, AND payed your medical bills too.

I'm warning you! I have ADHD and I know how to use it!!!
Good job Giants, now win 3 more world series titles and then you just might be worthy of being mentioned in the same league as the A's.
THAT IS NABOKOV IN NET NOT NITTYMAKISHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!
San Jose: Being Kept save from ferocious enemies by the Sharks and Earthquakes since 91 and 96.

by Diamondback15 on Mar 23, 2011 4:05 PM PDT up reply actions

Haha, awesome.

Joe Pavelski is an American hero while Matt Cooke is… Canadian.

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by idunno723 on Mar 23, 2011 6:40 AM PDT reply actions 2 recs

Matt Cooke makes Canadians look bad

being that he is the douchiest Canadian ever.

Waffles, Digimon, Setoguchi. <3

STALOCK GET A ROBOT LEG OR SOMETHING AND COME BACK~WE NEED SOME LOCK STOCK STALOCK HERE!!

by YeahTommyB4ZGermansGetThere on Mar 23, 2011 1:34 PM PDT up reply actions

He’s definitely in the top two.

Jon Casey fan since '84
Tweet me or Read me, but you WILL HEAR my opinion, damnit.

by stufflife on Mar 23, 2011 2:29 PM PDT up reply actions

It’s a hard-knock life for Matt Cooke.

Jon Casey fan since '84
Tweet me or Read me, but you WILL HEAR my opinion, damnit.

by stufflife on Mar 23, 2011 8:12 AM PDT reply actions

Interestingly enough, Joe Pavelski is a avid watcher of the HBO series, “Hard Knocks.”

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Mar 23, 2011 9:48 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs

I heard Marleau watches Yo Gabba Gabba.

Jon Casey fan since '84
Tweet me or Read me, but you WILL HEAR my opinion, damnit.

by stufflife on Mar 23, 2011 12:15 PM PDT up reply actions

Watches Yo Gabba Gabba? I thought Patrick Marleau was in Yo Gabba Gabba. The eyebrows are a dead giveaway:

by burrowowl on Mar 23, 2011 11:00 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs

I had a professor in college (of an Asian-American Literature class) who wore a belt for his pants when he tucked in his sweaters. Guess where. In Wisconsin, where All-American Boy was raised!

Jon Casey fan since '84
Tweet me or Read me, but you WILL HEAR my opinion, damnit.

by stufflife on Mar 23, 2011 8:15 AM PDT reply actions

Wha???

Love that last comparison there Meg. And the prediction classic. LOL!

GO SHARKS!!!!! Feels like it’s been two weeks since the Sharks hit the ice.

Waiting for the Cup to come to SJ since 1991...

GO SHARKS!

by winthecupsj on Mar 23, 2011 8:41 AM PDT reply actions

I think the question is: Why does Megalodon hate America? Going with the British-English spelling of “slough-foot” shows a clear affinity for feriners. He’s either a Euro-sympethizer or Canadian lackey, we can’t be sure until we water-board him, because as every good Merican knows, it’s a “slew-foot”.

by soccersucks on Mar 23, 2011 9:37 AM PDT reply actions

its earl who hates america…you got the wrong blogger..

Meg bows down to my fantasy greatness
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
Go Ducks!
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Mar 23, 2011 9:51 AM PDT up reply actions

Don’t over-generalize! To be fair, I only hate North America.

www.battleofcali.com

by Earl Sleek on Mar 23, 2011 10:20 AM PDT up reply actions

I do hate America, but no more than I hate everywhere and everything else.

I was almost going down and then I didn’t go down and then it came and it was too late to get down.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Mar 23, 2011 10:52 AM PDT up reply actions

BOOOO!!

by Angy on Mar 23, 2011 10:53 AM PDT up reply actions

no more than I hate everywhere and everything else

Texas.

Taylor Morgan: "My abortion was botched!"
Teemu Selanne: "Wow. That sounds awesome."

by DodgerBlueBalls on Mar 23, 2011 11:08 AM PDT up reply actions

Right. As long as Texas is in America, I’ll hate part of America.

I was almost going down and then I didn’t go down and then it came and it was too late to get down.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Mar 23, 2011 11:17 AM PDT up reply actions

Florida is pretty atrocious, too. Hate hate hate that place.

Liftetime president of the Darren Turcott Q-Tip Dexterity Awareness Foundation
finally caved in, as @shampeon on the Twitternet

by ievans on Mar 23, 2011 12:29 PM PDT up reply actions

Matt Cooke can close his mouth, Joe Pavelski can not.

by Scottyknow on Mar 23, 2011 10:46 AM PDT reply actions

Matt Cooke breaks rookies. Joe Pavelski bakes cookies.

I was almost going down and then I didn’t go down and then it came and it was too late to get down.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Mar 23, 2011 11:17 AM PDT reply actions

My favorite phrase!

“Unlicensed day care center.”

It’s the perfect response to your dickhead uncle who thinks “the free market should decide everything.”

Liftetime president of the Darren Turcott Q-Tip Dexterity Awareness Foundation
finally caved in, as @shampeon on the Twitternet

by ievans on Mar 23, 2011 12:28 PM PDT reply actions 3 recs

Why is it that I can so easily imagine all of these things about Joe Pavelski? Probably because they’re true.
I’m trying to remember if there was anything remotely redeeming about Matt Cooke from the 24/7 series. The only thing I can think of is his two young sons trying to beat up Max Talbot. I guess that’s something.

Nate woulda had that.

by MonochromeGarden on Mar 23, 2011 1:12 PM PDT reply actions

Matt Cooke is an asshole.

Which leads to the bigger question — who is the bigger asshole, Matt Cooke or Steve Ott?

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by Mike Chen on Mar 23, 2011 1:30 PM PDT reply actions

Cooke.

Waffles, Digimon, Setoguchi. <3

STALOCK GET A ROBOT LEG OR SOMETHING AND COME BACK~WE NEED SOME LOCK STOCK STALOCK HERE!!

by YeahTommyB4ZGermansGetThere on Mar 23, 2011 1:35 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs

I would say Ott — Cooke goes for people’s heads, but doesn’t go crying about it when it happens to him. Ott pretended he was a nice guy when whining about Heatley, and that gives him the edge, i think.

www.battleofcali.com

by Earl Sleek on Mar 23, 2011 1:43 PM PDT up reply actions

I’d say Ott’s hypocrisy about the whole Heatley thing puts him in the current lead, but after Cooke fails to learn anything from this latest suspension and does something stupid and dangerous again he will be the champ.

Seriously: why would Cooke change his ways after a seventeen game suspension and not after one of his several other suspensions?

I was almost going down and then I didn’t go down and then it came and it was too late to get down.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Mar 23, 2011 2:13 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions

Well, a 17 game suspension hurts his team more than a few games here and there. His skills are not irreplaceable, so I think his career is on the line. If he doesn’t clean up his act, he’ll find himself out of the NHL. That’s the motivating factor.

Liftetime president of the Darren Turcott Q-Tip Dexterity Awareness Foundation
finally caved in, as @shampeon on the Twitternet

by ievans on Mar 23, 2011 2:32 PM PDT up reply actions

Corey Perry

by Scottyknow on Mar 23, 2011 1:36 PM PDT up reply actions 5 recs

I’d put Sean Avery and Chris Pronger at or near the top of that list, as well.

by meetyourmako on Mar 23, 2011 1:40 PM PDT up reply actions

No list is complete without Trevor Gillies.

by Scottyknow on Mar 23, 2011 1:48 PM PDT up reply actions

Bryan William Marchment is the biggest asshole of all time

Meg bows down to my fantasy greatness
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
Go Ducks!
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Mar 23, 2011 1:59 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs

How soon people forget Essa Tikannen. And Ulf Sammuelson. And Dana Murzen.

Bryan Marchment was no schoolboy, and the way he hit hit people occasionally caused serious injury, but he was an asshole the same way Pronger is an asshole: he occasionally crossed the line, and was at his best when he was playing right on that line. Marchment was never a weasel about his plays, unlike Ott, Murzen, Sammuelson, Tikkanen, etc.

BTW, everyone’s hero Mark Messier was one of the dirtiest players in the history of the NHL.

Liftetime president of the Darren Turcott Q-Tip Dexterity Awareness Foundation
finally caved in, as @shampeon on the Twitternet

by ievans on Mar 23, 2011 2:37 PM PDT up reply actions

BTW, everyone’s hero Mark Messier was one of the dirtiest players in the history of the NHL.

Not my hero, but I think Ryan Getzlaf’s hairline is a big fan.

www.battleofcali.com

by Earl Sleek on Mar 23, 2011 2:43 PM PDT up reply actions 4 recs

And Skeletor, in a crappy EZ-8 motel room overlooking the 101 freeway somewhere, silently weeps.

Liftetime president of the Darren Turcott Q-Tip Dexterity Awareness Foundation
finally caved in, as @shampeon on the Twitternet

by ievans on Mar 23, 2011 2:46 PM PDT up reply actions

And Claude Lemieux. Tikannen ruled.

For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.

by Nut on Mar 23, 2011 2:59 PM PDT up reply actions

dino cicerelli was an ass too

Meg bows down to my fantasy greatness
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
Go Ducks!
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Mar 23, 2011 3:25 PM PDT up reply actions

I'll never forget Messier cheap-shotting Modano in the head, ending his season.

by Diamondback15 on Mar 23, 2011 4:09 PM PDT up reply actions

Messier was the king of two-handed slashes behind the play, in between the pads or skates (you know, where you have protection…).

Canadians are usually so mild-mannered and nice, but they also absolutely love dickheads like Messier and Bobby Clarke, who actively tried to break bones and end careers with the cheapest stickwork ever, but could also score goals. If you do the same thing but don’t score goals, you’re a blight on the game and should be arrested by the local constabulary for your vile conduct.

Liftetime president of the Darren Turcott Q-Tip Dexterity Awareness Foundation
finally caved in, as @shampeon on the Twitternet

by ievans on Mar 23, 2011 4:24 PM PDT up reply actions

LOL

I’ve seen some pretty disgusting footage of the Canada cup. The poor Russians got destroyed with not a single call going against the Canadians. I think Lemiex even broke someones hand. It was ridiculous. But, if the Russians so much as hooked a Canadian player, PP against! haha

by Scottyknow on Mar 23, 2011 4:38 PM PDT up reply actions

You’re thinking of Clarke’s ankle slash on Kharlamov, which broke his ankle. In other words, a hockey play.

If a (western) Canadian player does it, it’s hard-nosed physical hockey. If a Euro, or a Quebecer who isn’t wearing a red and white maple leaf on his chest, does it, it’s DIRTY FILTHY DISGUSTING AND HAS NO PLACE IN OUR GAME.

Liftetime president of the Darren Turcott Q-Tip Dexterity Awareness Foundation
finally caved in, as @shampeon on the Twitternet

by ievans on Mar 23, 2011 4:59 PM PDT up reply actions

Ott. Cooke does worse, Ott is worse.

For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.

by Nut on Mar 23, 2011 2:57 PM PDT up reply actions

Claude Lemieux!

by Scottyknow on Mar 23, 2011 2:43 PM PDT reply actions

Honestly, the answer is Ron Hexta- ah, my knee!

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Mar 23, 2011 3:06 PM PDT reply actions

Meg, have you been reading Highlights? It’s Goofus and Gallant!

"Prepare your bladder for imminent release!" — Invader Zim

by DougX on Mar 23, 2011 4:14 PM PDT reply actions

LOL!!

Matt Cooke gets suspended. Joe Pavelski bought a pair of suspenders as a gift, and it was the best birthday present Patrick Marleau ever received.

And not hockey suspenders—he wears it under his sweaters. Even more awkward!!

And what’s the advice (Murray’s grandfather, Lars [Lasse] Bjorn) gives him?

"Hit more people."

GO SHARKS.

by MiniMiteMom on Mar 23, 2011 5:09 PM PDT reply actions

he wears it under his sweaters. Even more awkward!!

But only after someone pointed out to him that wearing suspenders over his sweaters was incorrect.

Nate woulda had that.

by MonochromeGarden on Mar 23, 2011 5:14 PM PDT up reply actions

In Patty’s defense, loose pants cause funny things to happen “down there” and it’s really the only way to be sure.

Liftetime president of the Darren Turcott Q-Tip Dexterity Awareness Foundation
finally caved in, as @shampeon on the Twitternet

by ievans on Mar 23, 2011 5:24 PM PDT up reply actions

That’s why he’s taken to wearing suspenders under his suspenders.

www.battleofcali.com

by Earl Sleek on Mar 23, 2011 5:26 PM PDT up reply actions

He also uses them to hold up his socks…

"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"

— Lubomir Visnovsky

I rec’d that shit.

by Steven Hida on Mar 23, 2011 9:18 PM PDT up reply actions

Of course Marleau would present a gift like that.

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by 49er16 on Mar 23, 2011 7:20 PM PDT up reply actions

This is a crazy game so far.

I was almost going down and then I didn’t go down and then it came and it was too late to get down.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Mar 23, 2011 7:51 PM PDT reply actions

Crazy in our favor. :)

by Angy on Mar 23, 2011 7:58 PM PDT up reply actions

ahem Meg … prediction makes no mention of Torrey & Patty … :)

by Angy on Mar 23, 2011 8:46 PM PDT reply actions

Like his predictions are ever right anyways….

"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"

— Lubomir Visnovsky

I rec’d that shit.

by Steven Hida on Mar 23, 2011 9:17 PM PDT up reply actions

If you’ll look closely, you’ll notice I didn’t actually predict who would score the goals tonight at all. So I’m right!

I was almost going down and then I didn’t go down and then it came and it was too late to get down.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Mar 23, 2011 9:26 PM PDT up reply actions

oh! duh!

/sorry having a bad day. and I just got off the phone from yelling at airline baggage claim … I am not that kinda person normally … I think I need to be a hermit for a while till I feel like myself again … :)

by Angy on Mar 23, 2011 9:36 PM PDT up reply actions