Sharks Gameday: Spectrorective
Tonight we once again find the Sharks looking to beat up on the Stars in order to solidify their playoff position. The last game between these two teams was a little testy*, with Dany Heatley stupidly elbowing Steve Ott in the head and Steve Ott having his period all over the locker room after the game. It was disgusting.
Douglas Murray had an awesome game against the Stars last time, even if one of his hits might have been borderline-dirty**. He ruled the ice and beat the heck out of Steve Ott, which should be worth fifty goals. I'd be worried about possible retaliation against Murray this game, but we all know it isn't possible to hurt Murray without the use of anti-tank missiles or a vorpal sword.
In their remaining games the Sharks play Dallas and the Kings once, and the Ducks and the Coyotes twice each. More than any other single team, the Sharks control playoff positioning in the West, so tonight let's hope San Jose does their part to keep the filthy bastard Stars from gaining any points.
Prediction: Sharks win 4-1, with a hat trick for Douglas Murray and another goal for Logan Couture.
Warning: Incoming self-congratulatory bullshit!
Hey, you know what? I've been writing for Battle of California for one whole year! Isn't that crazy?
My first-ever post (not counting all the great ones that I secretly wrote for Rudy) was on March 31st of last year. I talked about how awesome the Sharks are, and how they're objectively and subjectively better than the Kings or the Ducks. One year later, this is more true than ever.
My first-ever gameday post was on April 2nd, coincidentally discussing the hated Dallas Stars. In it I pointed out that Steve Ott looks just like comedy actor Alan Tudyk. Then, as now, nobody cared.
I've written a lot of stupid bullcrap in the past year, but there have been a few diamonds amongst the turds. Here are my three favorite posts from my first year of writing:
3. Sharks Gameday: Team Meeting - Obscure pop-culture references, bad photoshop, stupid jokes, and very little actual hockey content - I really established my unique blogging "voice" early on, and I haven't strayed from it since.
2. Sharks Gameday: Holiday Gift Ideas - Diving into the depths of eBay to dredge up some horribly awesome hockey-related disasters.
1. Sharks Gameday: How to Lift a Curse - I single-handedly turned the Sharks' playoff luck around by burning some twigs and gum.
So there we have it. Two out of the three best things I've ever written came in April of last year, and I've basically been coasting since then, livin' large on these sweet SB Nation paychecks. Life is good.
Oh, and one time I pissed off the Coutures. That was exciting.
* = "Little Testy" was also Rudy's high-school nickname.
** = Yes, just ONE of them, reactionary Dallas Stars fans who happen to read this blog. The hit on Loui Eriksson was totally clean, he just got hurt because Douglas Murray is made of concrete.
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Congrats Meg!
and GO SHARKS!!
Unfortunately I’m headed into enemy territory today – Anaheim. My youngest is in orchestra, plays the string bass, and his class is in a competition this weekend down that way. We are leaving today and won’t be back till Sunday. No hockey for me till Monday.
Someone hold down the fort.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
So your’e already doing an “In Retrospect” post? The season isn’t already over. Or is it just because you’re a Sharks fan, you truly do realize your season is quickly coming to an actual end?
Here are my three favorite posts from my first year of writing:
Like everything I write, this is way more about me than about the Sharks.
I was almost going down and then I didn’t go down and then it came and it was too late to get down.
Battle of California
In honor of your one-year achievement, I will gladly cheer for a Sharks regulation victory tonight.
Fuck those Stars.
www.battleofcali.com
Was that regulation enough for you?
"Douglas Murray is a humongous human being." – Drew Remenda
Tweet Tweet
by Evilducks on Mar 31, 2011 10:47 PM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
I was trying to think of my favorite posts you’ve done this year, but the only ones I could think of were ones we did together… and to be honest, my favorite parts of those posts are the parts I wrote. You sure did write some good filler, though!
by RudyKelly on Mar 31, 2011 7:07 AM PDT reply actions 3 recs
You still just bitter that Meg won the first BoC write-off.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
by Angy on Mar 31, 2011 9:11 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Wooo!
I was almost going down and then I didn’t go down and then it came and it was too late to get down.
Battle of California
yea my favorite meg post was the one he did with me…your robin..meg…ROBIN!!!
Meg bows down to my fantasy greatness
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
Go Ducks!
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Mar 31, 2011 10:21 AM PDT up reply actions
What about my robin?
I was almost going down and then I didn’t go down and then it came and it was too late to get down.
Battle of California
stop inserting it into glory holes
Meg bows down to my fantasy greatness
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
Go Ducks!
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Mar 31, 2011 10:31 AM PDT up reply actions
Uh, a Knights Tale, hellooo?….Also, glad your around, Mr. Aladon. Also, fuck Steve Ott.
For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.
by Nut on Mar 31, 2011 8:02 AM PDT reply actions 2 recs
Aww...
I was gonna point out that he was in A Knight’s Tale…
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
I’m pretty sure Alan Tudick modelled his character off of Steve Ott.
by mikericcinotme on Mar 31, 2011 9:49 AM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
(Firefly/Serenity spoiler alert…)
WASH LIVES!!!!!!
Managing editor of From The Rink
www.fromtherink.com
by Mike Chen on Mar 31, 2011 10:50 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
finally i regonize him!!
all u had to say was the pirate from dodgeball meg
Meg bows down to my fantasy greatness
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
Go Ducks!
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Mar 31, 2011 10:18 AM PDT up reply actions
It’s called catering to your audience
by AnnihilatorRich on Mar 31, 2011 10:54 AM PDT up reply actions
I just want to make sure I have my pronunciation right…is it pronounced like Alan Two-dick?
…would that be an advantage or a disadvantage?
Does he call it Luongo underwear?
Co-Manager at Behind the Net
by Bettman's Nightmare on Mar 31, 2011 8:19 AM PDT reply actions
disadvantage…girls would freak out and run when you dropped your pants…only the sicko chics that do horses in such would appreciate the 2 members..now if u looked like dave navarro…you might be able to get away with it
Meg bows down to my fantasy greatness
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
Go Ducks!
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Mar 31, 2011 10:20 AM PDT up reply actions
So glad you didn’t say the sicko girls who hang out at BoC … :)
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Shel Silverstein thinks it's an advantage.
by meetyourmako on Mar 31, 2011 1:24 PM PDT up reply actions
Where the sidewalks ends…there is a man with two dicks.
I was almost going down and then I didn’t go down and then it came and it was too late to get down.
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Mar 31, 2011 1:30 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
Ah, so the point of having two dicks is not to use them both at once, it’s so you can always keep one fresh and ready.
by meetyourmako on Mar 31, 2011 4:46 PM PDT up reply actions
how they’re objectively and subjectively better than the Kings or the Ducks. One year later, this is more true than ever
nope
Little Testy" was also Rudy’s high-school nickname
he can still be nicknamed this I can attest
Meg bows down to my fantasy greatness
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
Go Ducks!
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Mar 31, 2011 10:28 AM PDT reply actions
Congrats Meg! Keep up the mediocre work! =P
by Scottyknow on Mar 31, 2011 10:37 AM PDT reply actions 2 recs
You knows it.
I was almost going down and then I didn’t go down and then it came and it was too late to get down.
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Mar 31, 2011 10:50 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
What about the Deadwood posts? Those turned the season around.
Managing editor of From The Rink
www.fromtherink.com
I don’t want to take all the credit. The Sharks helped a little bit too.
I was almost going down and then I didn’t go down and then it came and it was too late to get down.
Battle of California
I literally LOL’d when I read your first post about Kopitar’s mother being a raccoon. Classic! Congrats on one year.
You’re right Mike- Those Deadwood posts were the season changer!
GO SHARKS!!!!
Waiting for the Cup to come to SJ since 1991...
GO SHARKS!
As Al Swearengen might say…
“I do believe, sir, that the fucking lack of effort and cocksucker play came to an end when Megalodon’s fucking appropriate use of quotes from Deadwood showed up. What a coincidental fucking kick to the prick.”
(or something like that)
Managing editor of From The Rink
www.fromtherink.com
hahaha
Meg bows down to my fantasy greatness
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
Go Ducks!
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Mar 31, 2011 11:16 AM PDT up reply actions
Damn two seasons of that just wasn’t satisfying.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
There were three, but I totally agree.
I was almost going down and then I didn’t go down and then it came and it was too late to get down.
Battle of California
tu madre: Thanks but shhhhhh.
I was almost going down and then I didn’t go down and then it came and it was too late to get down.
Battle of California
ITPSTD, the Sharks would play the Ducks. That would be an amazing series.
The Ducks and the Coyotes are both possible first-round opponents, and the Sharks have two games against each of those teams in the final week of the season. That’s crazy. Depending how the standings are looking on those days, those are going to be like bonus playoff games.
I was almost going down and then I didn’t go down and then it came and it was too late to get down.
Battle of California
That’s true, but if the Ducks don’t stop winning (hahahaha), there’s no way we can’t catch the Coyotes. :)
www.battleofcali.com
Just that Meg hasn’t properly considered the ramifications of the unlikely scenario of the Ducks winning out the rest of their season.
www.battleofcali.com
That’s rational
For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.
by Nut on Mar 31, 2011 2:46 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Odds to win the cup
1. Vancouver 3/1
2. Detroit 8/1
3. San Jose 10/1
4. Phoenix 28/1
5. Los Angeles 22/1
6. Anaheim 35/1
7. Nashville keep dreamin
8. Chicago 18/1
Not to be confused with the Ducks strategy of using Jack-Off at forward…
Taylor Morgan: "My abortion was botched!"
Teemu Selanne: "Wow. That sounds awesome."
by DodgerBlueBalls on Mar 31, 2011 4:11 PM PDT up reply actions 7 recs
Scotty doesn’t know which story he’s commenting on.
I was almost going down and then I didn’t go down and then it came and it was too late to get down.
Battle of California
Happy Anniversary, Señor Alodon.
Taylor Morgan: "My abortion was botched!"
Teemu Selanne: "Wow. That sounds awesome."
by DodgerBlueBalls on Mar 31, 2011 4:05 PM PDT reply actions
jesus christ, dallas is still in the pacific? GET THE FUCK OUT, DALLAS. NO ONE LIKES YOU.
by CapnBlinky on Mar 31, 2011 4:28 PM PDT reply actions 3 recs
I’m sure they’re complaining about the late start time for this game for their stupid time zone.
I was almost going down and then I didn’t go down and then it came and it was too late to get down.
Battle of California
Everything is bigger in Texas. Even the bitching and moaning.
Taylor Morgan: "My abortion was botched!"
Teemu Selanne: "Wow. That sounds awesome."
by DodgerBlueBalls on Mar 31, 2011 4:53 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Go Sharks! Crush Dallas’ playoff dreams!
I was almost going down and then I didn’t go down and then it came and it was too late to get down.
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Mar 31, 2011 8:41 PM PDT reply actions 2 recs
Hahaha Ben Eager all-star quality goal.
I was almost going down and then I didn’t go down and then it came and it was too late to get down.
Battle of California
This is the best game ever.
I was almost going down and then I didn’t go down and then it came and it was too late to get down.
Battle of California
12 shots on goal for Marleau in this game. Holy fuck.
I was almost going down and then I didn’t go down and then it came and it was too late to get down.
Battle of California
This will probably get fixed soon and I’m too lazy to take a screenshot right now, but over at Defending Big D somebody didn’t close their strike-through text and about half the page is like that now, including story titles and stuff on the side. It’s like this game broke everything related to the Dallas Stars in the universe.
I was almost going down and then I didn’t go down and then it came and it was too late to get down.
Battle of California
Haha..fuckers.
I was also too lazy to take a screenshot…
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
by Steven Hida on Mar 31, 2011 10:17 PM PDT up reply actions
Texas Mess
Everything is bigger in texas, except the probability of re-signing Brad Richards. Good luck after that gem of a game you dirty bastards.

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