Sharks Gameday: Spectrorective

Some of my finest work.

Next Game


 

Tonight we once again find the Sharks looking to beat up on the Stars in order to solidify their playoff position. The last game between these two teams was a little testy*, with Dany Heatley stupidly elbowing Steve Ott in the head and Steve Ott having his period all over the locker room after the game. It was disgusting.

Douglas Murray had an awesome game against the Stars last time, even if one of his hits might have been borderline-dirty**. He ruled the ice and beat the heck out of Steve Ott, which should be worth fifty goals. I'd be worried about possible retaliation against Murray this game, but we all know it isn't possible to hurt Murray without the use of anti-tank missiles or a vorpal sword.   

In their remaining games the Sharks play Dallas and the Kings once, and the Ducks and the Coyotes twice each. More than any other single team, the Sharks control playoff positioning in the West, so tonight let's hope San Jose does their part to keep the filthy bastard Stars from gaining any points.

Prediction: Sharks win 4-1, with a hat trick for Douglas Murray and another goal for Logan Couture.

 

Warning: Incoming self-congratulatory bullshit!

Hey, you know what? I've been writing for Battle of California for one whole year! Isn't that crazy?

My first-ever post (not counting all the great ones that I secretly wrote for Rudy) was on March 31st of last year. I talked about how awesome the Sharks are, and how they're objectively and subjectively better than the Kings or the Ducks. One year later, this is more true than ever.

My first-ever gameday post was on April 2nd, coincidentally discussing the hated Dallas Stars. In it I pointed out that Steve Ott looks just like comedy actor Alan Tudyk. Then, as now, nobody cared.

I've written a lot of stupid bullcrap in the past year, but there have been a few diamonds amongst the turds. Here are my three favorite posts from my first year of writing:

3. Sharks Gameday: Team Meeting  - Obscure pop-culture references, bad photoshop, stupid jokes, and very little actual hockey content - I really established my unique blogging "voice" early on, and I haven't strayed from it since.

2. Sharks Gameday: Holiday Gift Ideas - Diving into the depths of eBay to dredge up some horribly awesome hockey-related disasters.

1. Sharks Gameday: How to Lift a Curse - I single-handedly turned the Sharks' playoff luck around by burning some twigs and gum.

So there we have it. Two out of the three best things I've ever written came in April of last year, and I've basically been coasting since then, livin' large on these sweet SB Nation paychecks. Life is good.

Oh, and one time I pissed off the Coutures. That was exciting.

 

* = "Little Testy" was also Rudy's high-school nickname.

** = Yes, just ONE of them, reactionary Dallas Stars fans who happen to read this blog. The hit on Loui Eriksson was totally clean, he just got hurt because Douglas Murray is made of concrete.

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