Hockey Goosebumps #1: Welcome to Dead Rink
Twelve-year-old Patrick Marleau is about to find out that there's a reason no one goes to the old hockey rink...
"But I don't want to move to a new town!" I whined from the back seat of my dad's car, "All my friends are back in San Jose!"
"Now Patrick," my dad replied, not taking his eyes off the road, "We talked about this. We had to move because of my new job. Besides - you'll make new friends. Who wouldn't want to be your friend?"
How about EVERYONE? I thought to myself. My dad just didn't know what it was like to be me. I was short for a twelve-year-old, and I had big thick goofy eyebrows that the other kids always laughed at. After a lot of hard work I had managed to make some friends over the years in San Jose, but now I was leaving them behind forever! What was I going to do?
"I'm sure you'll love your new life here in Darkville," my dad continued. He had a big smile on his face, "And I know for certain you'll like our new house. Look, you can see it now!"
I looked where my dad was pointing and gasped in amazement. There was a house down at the end of a mostly-empty street, but that wasn't what caught my eye. I was more interested in the large building in a big open lot right next door!
"Is that a hockey rink?" I asked with my nose pressed against the window glass.
"Oh, yes," my dad said, "But I'm afraid it's abandoned now. I talked to some people in town about it. Apparently they put up a new, nicer one on the other side of town about a year ago."
"Aww," I said, disappointed. I loved hockey, and I had been excited about playing all day on a rink practically in my back yard.
"Okay, here we are," Dad said, pulling the car into the driveway. "Let's go inside."
We spent the rest of the day unpacking and moving furniture, and we both went to bed early. I slept like a log in my new room, until I was woken up by noises and lights coming from my window.
I tip-toed to my window and looked out, and I couldn't believe what I saw!
From my window I could see the abandoned hockey rink next door - only it didn't look abandoned any more! Lights were on inside, and I thought I could hear sounds as I strained my ears. There were people in there after all!
My heart pounded with excitement. I tried to move quietly, afraid of waking up my dad. I pulled on my jersey and grabbed my hockey bag and stick. I closed the front door behind me and then started running up the sidewalk. I was nearly out of breath by the time I got to the front doors of the rink.
I paused, breathing hard, and looked around at the rink parking lot. There weren't any cars in it. Who could be in the rink?
I opened the door slowly and listened hard. I heard voices coming from the ice: kids' voices!
There were other kids here! Clearly there was some kind of secret midnight kids-only hockey game, right next to my house! This was so cool!
I moved closer to the rink. I couldn't see what was going on in the game, since the glass around the rink was filthy with dust. I could hear the voices of the children more clearly now, shouting and laughing in excitement. With a smile on my face I sat on one of the empty benches next to the boards and put on my skates. I threw open the door to the ice and stepped out, ready to meet my new friends.
But there was no one there!
* * *
I skated slowly out on to the ice, looking around the empty rink.
"Hello?" I called out. My voice echoed back to me in the empty building. The voices of the children were gone now. I felt a chill run up my spine.
The ice beneath my skates was fresh and cold, and completely flawless. Cold clouds hung in the quiet air above the ice, clouds that were so dense I could hardly see the boards on the far side of the rink. A crisp clean smell filled my nose.
I was starting to get scared. I skated towards the center of the ice, looking into the mist for any signs of other kids. Maybe they were hiding from me, trying to scare me, I thought. Maybe this was some kind of test - an initiation into their secret night-time hockey game.
"I'm not scared you guys," I said loudly.
I heard a sound behind me, and I turned around.
Out of the mist a large, rectangular shape appeared, heading slowly towards me. I heard a ghostly growl coming from it as it grew closer.
It was a ghost Zamboni! A white Zamboni, covered in mist - and driven by a skeleton!
* * *
"Oh no!" I shouted as I turned around. The Zamboni was heading towards me, picking up speed. I started skating away, but the mist above the ice was thicker now: so thick I couldn't find my way to the exit! I crashed into the dust-covered glass at the edge of the rink, my hands searching desperately for a door. The sound of the Zamboni seemed to be coming from everywhere at once. I turned around and stumbled, tripping over my own skates.
I fell to the ice hard, smacking my forehead against the cold surface. I was dizzy, and before I could get to my feet I looked down, and I started screaming.
I was looking into a young boy's face - the face of a boy frozen beneath the ice! His skin was blue, his eyes were wide, and his mouth was open in a silent scream.
As I got to my feet in a cold sweat and looked around, I started to see more shadowy figures underneath the ice: the trapped bodies of other boys, at least a dozen that I could see, all frozen to death!
With a monstrous roar the ghostly Zamboni approached, splitting through the mist. I screamed and skated as fast as I could towards where I thought the exit must be. I heard the laugh of the skeletal driver coming closer. It was right behind me!
There it was: the door! I dove through it at full speed and started running. I was out the doors and into the parking lot in an instant, my skates slipping on the asphalt. I left my bag and gear behind and ran all the way home.
I forgot about being quiet and hurried to my bedroom. Once there, I pushed my dresser in front of the door and jumped into my bed.
I fell asleep with my skates on, huddling under the covers in terror.
* * *
I woke up in the morning to the sound of my dad knocking on the door. "I'm going to work soon, Patrick. Come out and have breakfast."
In the light of day, things didn't seem quite as scary as they had the night before. If it weren't for my hockey skates and my missing bag and stick, I might have been able to convince myself that it had all been a bad dream.
Still, I felt safe enough now. The scary old rink was still there, right next door - but the ghost Zamboni inside hadn't followed me last night. It probably couldn't leave the building at all. As long as I didn't go back there - and I knew I never would! - I would be safe and sound, forever.
With a happy sigh I got up, took off my skates and jersey, and went to the kitchen to have breakfast with my dad.
I sat down at the kitchen table, where a bowl of cereal was waiting for me. My dad was standing behind the open refrigerator door.
"Thanks for breakfast, Dad," I said.
"Sure thing son," Dad said. He closed the fridge door, and I screamed and dropped my spoon on the floor.
My dad was a monster! He was wearing tattered clothes, he had huge fangs sprouting from his mouth, and he was hairy all over! It wasn't a costume - it was horribly real!
"What do you think?" Dad said with an animal snarl, "It's my new job, Patrick: I'm a werewolf!"
THE END
It's the last day of the short-story contest. Please vote for me!
If you don't know what the heck Goosebumps is then you're probably old. Trust me, this was an awesome, spot-on parody. Go read this blog to experience the magic for yourself.
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Holy fuck
“Oh no!” I shouted as I turned around
This sentence is in every Goosebumps story ever.
by RudyKelly on Jul 15, 2011 9:05 AM PDT reply actions 3 recs
Pure awesomeness. :)
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
I had my oldest read it … he use to collect Goosebumps books and he said “oh goodness, that’s definitely alot like an RL Stine story”.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Haha awesome.
Does he really say “Oh goodness”? He sounds like a Goosebumps character.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
Well he typed out “oh goodness” to me … we’re in yim together.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Some explanation for the uninitiated...
“I’m sure you’ll love your new life here in Darkville,”
1. About 50% of the Goosebumps books feature kids moving to new towns.
2. The town in the book Welcome to Dead House is called “Dark Falls.”
“It’s my new job, Patrick: I’m a werewolf!”
1. Goosebumps endings were frequently surprises, and often random and unsatisfying.
2. Werewolves were something of a motif for the series.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
My favorite character was always the “wacky” friend (who was named like Rooster or some shit) that existed only to get fucked up or abducted or mutated two-thirds through the novel.
From Blogger Beware's recap of "Welcome to Dead House":
Memorable Cliffhanger Chapter Ending:
Ch. 6/7:
Amanda goes to close her window but it’s already closed!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
I had big thick goofy eyebrows that the other kids always laughed at
Some things never change.
I voted again today!
Enjoying the Shady Acres of hockey blogging retirement. No, that's not the Florida Panthers.
Voted
In the end, Patrick felt nothing. He wasn’t programmed to.
by mikericcinotme on Jul 15, 2011 10:10 AM PDT reply actions 4 recs
Perry is actually a plant monster though, so he doesn’t have elbows.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
So he's like the Maple Leaf's Tree guardian?

Drew: 'Oh no.. That is certainly the meaty part alright, but it's not the thigh..."
Randy: "No... that bone is NOT connected to the thigh bone..."
www.fearthefin.com - Where masochism is defined.
I rushed the Furd's farm in 2009
www.californiagoldenblogs.com - Where Cal grads prove they learned something.
by SeanCrosby87 on Jul 15, 2011 5:23 PM PDT up reply actions
Neat-o, dude.
you’re probably old.
Yes, I am. I guess I remember seeing these on bookshelves, but I’ve never read any of it.
Maybe for us slightly older fahts you can whip up a Choose Your Own Adventure, some Encyclopedia Brown, or the Boxcar Children… :)
Good luck on that contest. I’ve voted so many times that I’ve been mistaken for a deceased resident of Cook County, IL.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
Choose Your Own Adventure
I loved those books too. I did one of those already, actually, but it wasn’t really a parody so much as it was a rip-off.
Thanks for voting.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
Haha
Yeah, I forgot about that. How about a Two-Minute Mystery then? ;)
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jul 15, 2011 10:49 AM PDT up reply actions
Those always ended up being about midgets with umbrellas.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
Or it’s “The killer packed the briefcase with his purple clothing but the victim had red hair!” or something retarded like that.
by RudyKelly on Jul 15, 2011 10:53 AM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
For example
Pastrono, who had left school in the fourth grade and read an Italian newspaper instead of one in English, could not have written a note perfect in grammar (including the subjunctive mode), punctuation, and spelling!
That damned Dr. Haledjian was so smart!
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jul 15, 2011 11:06 AM PDT up reply actions
Yeah, half of them were basically just offensive stereotypes. “This man is Muslim so of course he couldn’t have showered like he said he did!”
by RudyKelly on Jul 15, 2011 11:10 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
And this:
Indian Joe, the “varnishing American.” (Ugh!)
At least he knew it was a shitty pun.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jul 15, 2011 11:14 AM PDT up reply actions
Ha! I’ve read them. Then again, my oldest had a library of their books so I couldnt’ help but read them.
Also a warning to those of you who might one day be parents – never tell your child who is learning to read that when they do, you’ll buy them all the books they want. They will forever hold you to that. My place is a fire hazard. It’s not enough that I’m a reader, but my oldest is as well and there are not enough nooks and crannies to hold all our books.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Have your kids identify the books they’re not ever going to read again, then post those on Paperback Swap. Mail those books off to other people who want them, and get points. Using those points, you can get books on your wishlist mailed to you.
It’s so amazing.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Jul 15, 2011 10:59 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
We have given some books to charity that we don’t want any longer. The problem is, there are too many we want to keep. Every few months we go thru all our books and make piles – keep, charity, give to others, whatever – the keep pile is just huge. Between my son and I, we cannot let go. And so our collection grows.
But yeah, I’ll check that out anyways. It will just get a small pile. :)
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
If only there were some sort of case where you could store these books…
by RudyKelly on Jul 15, 2011 11:07 AM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
We have two of them already. Filled up, all space on top filled up. And no room for another. :)
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Charity is for suckers!
I’ve got one big bookshelf in my house. My deal is that I can fill up that bookshelf with books I want to keep forever, but once it’s full if I want to get more I have to Paperback Swap others away to make room.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
Just give them to me, I’ll lose them, and then you can get more books!
by RudyKelly on Jul 15, 2011 11:08 AM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
RudyKelly – the black hole of books.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Jul 15, 2011 11:16 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
haha … just sent my son the link, his response “I’m not trading my books! … are you crazy!”
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
My goodness!
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Jul 15, 2011 11:16 AM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
Maybe you should visit this site instead.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jul 15, 2011 11:08 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Trade: #NHLDucks acquire D Mathieu Carle from MTL in exchange for D Mark Mitera. Full release to follow.
Carle must be short for Carlyle. :)
www.battleofcali.com
I probably should also take this time to laugh at those Ducks fans who follow prospects like Mitera intently. Suckers! :)
www.battleofcali.com
your point of not paying attention has come full circle
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2011 11:15 AM PDT up reply actions
I thought Mitera was a stud prospect. Fans are going to be pissed! They thought he’d be in the line up soon.
by ScottyKnows on Jul 15, 2011 11:24 AM PDT up reply actions
Fowler passed him by.
Carle’s an RFA, it seems. Just like Cogliano, we’ll have to see what he signs for.
www.battleofcali.com
One more year until he’s an RFA again — next year he makes $850k base but potentially $1.275M.
www.battleofcali.com
Also
On September 24, 2008, Carle was knocked unconscious after being hit by Tomáš Kopecký of the Detroit Red Wings in a pre-season game.
I hope MTL doesn’t pull an edmonton!
by ScottyKnows on Jul 15, 2011 11:29 AM PDT up reply actions
hey i heard of that ducks prospect…oh well..nice knowing ya
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2011 11:15 AM PDT up reply actions
We should not confuse this new Mathieu Carle with former Shark defenseman Matt Carle, though I will do my darnedest to fuck that up.
www.battleofcali.com
Too late!
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Jul 15, 2011 11:17 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Maybe it’ll be “Carle’s Junior”.
www.battleofcali.com
by Earl Sleek on Jul 15, 2011 11:18 AM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
And then later when he sucks, “Carle’s Bad”.
www.battleofcali.com
by Earl Sleek on Jul 15, 2011 11:23 AM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
But then later when he gets good, “Carle’s in Charge”.
www.battleofcali.com
by Earl Sleek on Jul 15, 2011 11:23 AM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
hehe
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2011 11:25 AM PDT up reply actions
Bai-o!
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jul 15, 2011 11:26 AM PDT up reply actions
Maybe he pronounces his last name “Car-LAY.”
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jul 15, 2011 11:19 AM PDT up reply actions
that would be aweomse……car-lay likes to par-tayyyy….heeey….ok fuck what i just said was stupi032d30.
\;o////o+
66
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2011 11:23 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Hahahaha...best comment ever.
If you did reply to that, I totally thought it would be about how you got car-laid one time…
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jul 15, 2011 11:25 AM PDT up reply actions
my current truck only allows for road head…although i probally get nail a midget
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2011 11:26 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
could nail a midget…important that is clarified
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2011 11:27 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
LOL
Yeah, I understood.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jul 15, 2011 11:30 AM PDT up reply actions
He’s good, but Pronger has made him look better, too.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jul 15, 2011 11:43 AM PDT up reply actions
Wrong Matt Carle
Hell on Ice/In Lou We Trust/Twitter
Talking toilet, you may call me Jane.
by Kevin Sellathamby on Jul 15, 2011 3:02 PM PDT up reply actions
goosebumps?
NEEEEEEEEEEEERDS!!!
now excuse me while i go play dragon age for 5 hours
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2011 11:24 AM PDT reply actions
BoC is suitable for all ages, from infants all the way to Angy.
www.battleofcali.com
by Earl Sleek on Jul 15, 2011 11:33 AM PDT up reply actions 4 recs
hehe
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2011 11:36 AM PDT up reply actions
So we’re not going to talk about Tommy Lee today then?
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jul 15, 2011 11:37 AM PDT up reply actions
It’s all legal — those infants can’t read yet, anyways. They just get cartoons out of the deal.
www.battleofcali.com
mmmmm burritos...
Drew: 'Oh no.. That is certainly the meaty part alright, but it's not the thigh..."
Randy: "No... that bone is NOT connected to the thigh bone..."
www.fearthefin.com - Where masochism is defined.
I rushed the Furd's farm in 2009
www.californiagoldenblogs.com - Where Cal grads prove they learned something.
by SeanCrosby87 on Jul 15, 2011 5:25 PM PDT up reply actions
That’s low.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
It's also hilarious.
Drew: 'Oh no.. That is certainly the meaty part alright, but it's not the thigh..."
Randy: "No... that bone is NOT connected to the thigh bone..."
www.fearthefin.com - Where masochism is defined.
I rushed the Furd's farm in 2009
www.californiagoldenblogs.com - Where Cal grads prove they learned something.
by SeanCrosby87 on Jul 15, 2011 5:26 PM PDT up reply actions
In other news, ever since I read that a few guys on the Kings have been training this off-season by doing 2,000 yards worth of lunges I’ve been wondering how many I could do. 2,000 yards of lunges equates to about 680 lunges and I’m going to give it a shot tomorrow.
I’m not going to come close.
Lunger.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jul 15, 2011 12:41 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
You should be videotaping this.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Jul 15, 2011 1:14 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I 2nd this.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
oh we remember the last time after u watched steel magnolias
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2011 2:21 PM PDT up reply actions
Awwwww...

It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jul 15, 2011 2:29 PM PDT up reply actions
We need a poll to guess how many we think you can do.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
I guess 405…LUNGE-MAGEDDON!
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jul 15, 2011 2:15 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
equates to about 680 lunges and I’m going to give it a shot tomorrow.
Meg cover your butthole!
For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.
by Nut on Jul 16, 2011 1:15 AM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
Goosebumps #5 has mummies. That’s about as close as the series got to zombies – they weren’t as popular back in the early 90s.
The book that was the inspiration for this post, “Welcome to Dead House,” features a town of sort-of-zombie, sort-of-vampire people, but they just act like normal people so I don’t know what’s up with them really.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
I’d like to nominate Tommy Wingles as Patrick’s goofy, excitable friend who breaks wind at inopportune moments.
by dikfor on Jul 15, 2011 1:25 PM PDT via mobile reply actions
Tommy Wingles sounds like a Goosebumps character name. I’ll definitely have to include him.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
goofy, excitable friend who breaks wind at inopportune moments.
Was that part of the series as well? Now I really regret not reading them…
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jul 15, 2011 2:13 PM PDT up reply actions
The goofy, excitable friend yes. I don’t remember a lot of farting, but I could be wrong.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
The farting was in the Hardy Boys series.
Let's go Ducks.
by deb d on Jul 15, 2011 2:16 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Maybe dikfor knows more about Wingels than he’s letting on.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jul 15, 2011 2:16 PM PDT up reply actions
Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes
Was always my favorite but i also really liked deep trouble and say cheese and die
The problem with Deep Trouble was that the cover looked like this:

but the book was actually about mermaids and an evil scientist, not giant killer sharks at all! What a rip-off!
Lawn Gnomes was a good one, and Say Cheese and Die was a classic.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
i got a flashback of this

im not much into blondes…take her out sharktopus!!!
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2011 2:39 PM PDT up reply actions
Whoa...
So that’s what Todd McClellan morphs into?
Drew: 'Oh no.. That is certainly the meaty part alright, but it's not the thigh..."
Randy: "No... that bone is NOT connected to the thigh bone..."
www.fearthefin.com - Where masochism is defined.
I rushed the Furd's farm in 2009
www.californiagoldenblogs.com - Where Cal grads prove they learned something.
by SeanCrosby87 on Jul 15, 2011 5:27 PM PDT up reply actions
Ya i think that’s originally why i picked up the book “Oh sweet there are giant sharks in this one?!?!” but i still have nightmares about lawn gnomes shivers
My favorite was “One Day at HorrorLand” because it actually had monsters in it, although after reading this summary it sounds like the book was much worse than I remember.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
Face your fear...

It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jul 15, 2011 3:23 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
I liked the one about the kids who try out the new amusemant parks and turn out to be robots
These are the demands and sayings of tohon
That sounds like 25% of all Goosebumps books.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
This is awesome
I use to always pore over the book order forms when I was in elementary looking for the newest Goosebumps. Or Animorphs. That series was the fucking bomb
"Playin hurt, baby that don't faze me. I don't got time for pain. The only pain I've got time for is the pain I put on fools who don't know what time it is!"
I’ll do Animorphs later on then. Patrick Marleau will get stuck in the form of a hawk because he’s stupid and doesn’t follow the morphing rules.
Dumb ass Tobias.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Jul 15, 2011 3:14 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
But a Hawk is cool and eats mice/rats/baby kitties. Maybe a raven would ben good — nevermore, nevermore.
Let's go Ducks.
Hawks also eat baby ducks. Yep, hawks are very cool. :)
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
No they aren't
Their team is stupid
"Playin hurt, baby that don't faze me. I don't got time for pain. The only pain I've got time for is the pain I put on fools who don't know what time it is!"
That’s no longer the same animal.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jul 15, 2011 3:30 PM PDT up reply actions
nevermore, nevermore.
I think you raised the literary level a tad too high there for some.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jul 15, 2011 3:28 PM PDT up reply actions
oh yeah? Dang, and all I did was quote from Harry Potter and the Escape from Nevermore.
Let's go Ducks.
by deb d on Jul 15, 2011 3:38 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Quoth the raven, “bullshit.” :)
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jul 16, 2011 12:10 AM PDT up reply actions
The more important question
Is who is Elfangor-Sirinial-Shamtul?
"Playin hurt, baby that don't faze me. I don't got time for pain. The only pain I've got time for is the pain I put on fools who don't know what time it is!"
Didn’t he just get traded to the Flames?
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jul 15, 2011 3:31 PM PDT up reply actions
With a full NMC?
"Playin hurt, baby that don't faze me. I don't got time for pain. The only pain I've got time for is the pain I put on fools who don't know what time it is!"
by Semi_Colon on Jul 15, 2011 3:32 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Marc-Edouard Vlasic.
Joe Pavelski is clearly Jake. Douglas Murray can be Marco.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
These covers were so sweet

"Playin hurt, baby that don't faze me. I don't got time for pain. The only pain I've got time for is the pain I put on fools who don't know what time it is!"
Holy shit that guy is totally Vlasic. I just picked it because of Vlasic’s funny name, but:

The alien dude also looks a lot like McLovin.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
Whoa.

It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jul 16, 2011 12:18 AM PDT up reply actions
lol wow i did a quick google image search for Animorph and there are a lot of Animorph books i never read.
Look at this shit:

lmao how lame would it be if you could only morph into a star fish?? Those things can barely move at all let alone SOAR THE FREAKIN SKIES LIKE A GOD DAMN EAGLE.
Is it
A jab at how she is in bed?
"Playin hurt, baby that don't faze me. I don't got time for pain. The only pain I've got time for is the pain I put on fools who don't know what time it is!"
fuck pillow princesses!!….u money shot those when there not expecting as a punishment
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 16, 2011 3:01 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
Haha this is awesome.
I used to read the shit outta Goosebump books back in the day. You did a really great job; I was thinking “this totally reminds me of a Goosebump book” before you even said anything.
I just can’t wait until Rudy starts his “Encyclopedia Dustin Brown” series.
www.battleofcali.com
by Earl Sleek on Jul 15, 2011 7:40 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
This thread has been a nostalgia trip and a half. I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who read the shit out of Goosebumps and Animorphs as a kid.
I gotta say that The Ghost Next Door was one of my favs. That one had one hell of an m night shyamalan twist. Well before M Night came around. And of course Say Cheese and Die was a classic
"Playin hurt, baby that don't faze me. I don't got time for pain. The only pain I've got time for is the pain I put on fools who don't know what time it is!"
We did it people. My story is in the final five in the contest.
Thank you all.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Jul 15, 2011 10:01 PM PDT via mobile reply actions 5 recs
Now Patton Oswalt and the other two judges have a few days to decide and then the winner is announced at comic con.
If I fail now, I have no one to blame but myself. And the stupid judges, of course.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Jul 15, 2011 10:13 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
Huzzah!
NowPatton OswaltUnattractive Giant Monster and the other two judges have a few days to decide and then the winner is announced at comic con.
Fixed. Good luck, Meg.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jul 15, 2011 10:29 PM PDT up reply actions
No, no trip to Comic Con. They announce it there, we don’t actually get to be there.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
you should go anyway as a secret super hero — ta da, hockey shorts man.
Let's go Ducks.
by deb d on Jul 16, 2011 6:09 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
It’s raining frogs.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Adult daycare centers as well as special care units in nursing homes often provide specialized care for dementia patients. Adult daycare centers offer supervision, recreation, meals, and limited health care to participants, as well as providing respite for caregivers.
While some preliminary studies have found that music therapy may be useful in helping patients with dementia, their quality has been low and no reliable conclusions can be drawn from them.
"There is no gravity son, the world just sucks." - my father.
by tu madre on Jul 16, 2011 6:12 AM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
#NHLDucks have signed LW Patrick Maroon, who played with the @SyracuseCrunch much of last year, to a one-year contract.
If Mike Commodore ends up wearing #64 in Detroit, will Patrick Maroon be pressured into wearing #5 whenever he makes it to the NHL? :)
www.battleofcali.com
by Earl Sleek on Jul 16, 2011 11:52 AM PDT reply actions 2 recs
meat curtains!!!!!!!
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 16, 2011 3:27 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Aaaargh-mageddon?
I’ve been chuckling every so often about the idea of Rudy’s lunge-a-palooza.

Rudy, if you did it, I hope you didn’t hurt yourself too badly to be laughed at. Way to be active!
It is that thing that I sent to you.
GO USA!
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
One very noticeable thing bout the women’s team vs men’s team, no diving. GO WOMEN! :)
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
USA scores!!
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Seriously … 11 minutes left … way too much time still
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
FUCK! Japan scores
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
I was thinking this game has a Sharks game feel to it … out shooting, many good excellent chances … yet somehow, will end up losing.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
grrrr!! we are talking bout the Sharks not Vancouver :)
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
I do like there is that annoying noise maker … they must be banned :)
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Nope, it’s the finals.
Dump and chase
by cmatthew35 on Jul 17, 2011 1:55 PM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
haha … what a crappy way to end the game..
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
This is not looking good.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Japan wins.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Speaking of creepy ghosts, lately an evil apparition has been appearing in my house. It only appears for a few minutes every day and always stays in the same place on my wall, but it’s freaking me the fuck out.

Aaaaah!!! My past has come back to haunt me!
www.battleofcali.com
by Earl Sleek on Jul 18, 2011 5:23 PM PDT reply actions 2 recs
YKOOPS!
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jul 19, 2011 11:26 AM PDT up reply actions

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