If the movie were about hockey...
by Megalodon on Aug 1, 2011 7:17 AM PDT
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The movie Rookie of the Year is about: a twelve-year-old kid who joins a professional sports league.
If the movie were about hockey: Zdeno Chara would check Henry Rowengartner into a stanchion and the kid's head would snap off.
The movie What About Bob? is about: an irritating whiner who just won't go away and leave everyone alone.
If the movie were about hockey: It would be called What About Ryan Smyth?
The movie The Return of the King is about: a king who achieves a glorious total victory.
If the movie were about hockey: It wouldn't exist.
The movie A Christmas Carol is about: a mean rich man who doesn't care about the problems of the poor until three ghosts visit him and in the end he learns the error of his ways.
If the movie were about hockey: Instead of the three ghosts the rich guy would just get traded to the Ducks.
The movie Jaws is about: a shark that scares some people and almost kills everybody before blowing up right before the end.
If the movie were about hockey: It would be exactly the same.
That's all I was able to think of, but if you have any good ones, please share them in the comments.
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And, of course, Shark Week.
I wrote a short piece on it last year, celebrating the most holy and wonderful week on the calendar.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
i was watching last nite with a hard on all nite…I plan to touch the nose of a great white and stop him cold
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 1, 2011 8:08 AM PDT up reply actions
high five!!!
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 1, 2011 1:19 PM PDT up reply actions
My brain is on Shark Week as well. I had a weird dream last night with a shark. That could travel on land as well as in the water.
The land shark is cleverest species of them all!
"Playin hurt, baby that don't faze me. I don't got time for pain. The only pain I've got time for is the pain I put on fools who don't know what time it is!"
That could travel on land as well as in the water.
Oh no! We’re DOOMED!
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
uh Meg – we’re the land Sharks … :)
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
I am the LandShark(s)!
Douglas Murray, biggest offensive threat.
by LandSharks on Aug 1, 2011 9:08 AM PDT up reply actions 4 recs
fuuuuuuuuuuuuu-
Everybody run!
"Playin hurt, baby that don't faze me. I don't got time for pain. The only pain I've got time for is the pain I put on fools who don't know what time it is!"
hahaha!
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Holllleee fuckkz!?!?!
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
by Steven Hida on Aug 1, 2011 11:14 AM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
Finally, something Meg and Rudy can both agree on!
www.battleofcali.com
by Earl Sleek on Aug 1, 2011 11:40 AM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
we just need him to sing choir or star on battlestar gallactica and the trifecta is complete!!!
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 1, 2011 12:14 PM PDT up reply actions
Okay, let’s try a few:
The movie Indecent Proposal is about: a rich man who pays one million dollars to sleep with another man’s wife.
If the movie were about hockey: Most of the money would be paid up front, but an insignificant portion would be spread over multiple years to lower the cap hit.
The movie Empire Strikes Back is about: Pursued by the Empire, the rebellion is forced to temporarily relocate to the icy world of Hoth.
If the movie were about hockey: They’d temporarily relocate to the icy world of Winnipeg.
The show Survivor is about: It features a critical vote to see who leaves the island.
If the show were about hockey: It’d have a critical vote to see who leaves the island.
www.battleofcali.com
by Earl Sleek on Aug 1, 2011 7:55 AM PDT reply actions 3 recs
hahahahaha @ Survivor
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
The movie Drunken Master is about: A martial arts expert who enhances his abilities through alcoholism; lack of sobriety allows him to compete at his peak.
If the movie were about hockey: It’d star Mike Richards. :)
www.battleofcali.com
by Earl Sleek on Aug 1, 2011 8:16 AM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
The movie What About Bob? is about: an irritating whiner who just won’t go away and leave everyone alone.
If the movie were about hockey: It would be called What AboutRyan SmythAlbert K?
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 1, 2011 8:09 AM PDT reply actions 3 recs
also Dean Lombardi.
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
by Steven Hida on Aug 1, 2011 9:49 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
u took it in stride…thats a start…now wrap a rubber band around your wrist and snap it every time u want to say fuck (insert duck player/gm here) and youll be all good
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 2, 2011 9:11 AM PDT up reply actions
The movie The Return of the King is about: a king who achieves a glorious total victory.
If the movie were about hockey: It wouldn’t exist.
tee-hee
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 1, 2011 8:10 AM PDT reply actions
The movie The Human Centipede is about: I dont want to get my comment deleted again so go google it.
If the movie were about hockey: It would involve the sharks top line and/or a saturday nite at meg/rudy apartment when they lived together
The movie “the mask” is about: either a green masked goofy menance or Eric stulz with an unreal face…Cher was involved in one of the movies
If the movie were about hockey: It would be about Douglas Murray
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 1, 2011 8:15 AM PDT reply actions
MORE ON BURNS RE-SIGNING: Looks like five-year deal comes in at about $28.8M or a flat $5.75M annually — no signing bonus.
Fetch my money wheelbarrow, Smithers!
www.battleofcali.com
release the hounds!!!
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 1, 2011 8:37 AM PDT up reply actions
lets hope its crippling and becomes an albatross
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
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by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 1, 2011 8:27 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Hooray!
The per-year is totally reasonable. Why did Minnesota have such a hard time with this guy?
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
cuz its minnesota…damn that contract does sound reasonable..isnt wiznewski getting somthing similar lol
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 1, 2011 8:36 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
The per-year is totally reasonable
Is it? It’d be the tenth highest cap hit of all defensemen in the league next season. And probably ninth, assuming Wade Redden’s in the AHL.
Obviously this isn’t next year’s salary, so it’s not totally comparable, but not sure Brent Burns should be a top-ten-paid defenseman yet.
www.battleofcali.com
14. Wisniewski, James " D CLB 27 6 $5,500,000
so we had a top 15 defensemen? how’d we ever let that rascal go lol!!!
have fun columbus
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 1, 2011 8:43 AM PDT up reply actions
Putting up 50 points is bound to get you a raise...
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
What?! Dan Boyle’s getting paid more than Nick Lidstrom? Fuck that shit!
by meetyourmako on Aug 1, 2011 10:52 AM PDT up reply actions
It’s significantly less than Boyle, which is the contract I was worried would be the target for Burns’ agent.
Who’s a good comparison for Burns other than Boyle – Visnovsky? That seems fair to me. They get paid roughly the same now, but Burns is coming into his prime. I’ll take that deal.
Obviously there’s a million “what ifs” that could make this turn out to be horrible, but that’s true of every deal ever.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
Also Burns is 1) young and 2) a proven offensive talent on defense. How many guys like that are around, and potentially available? That’s a better comparison than grouping him in with all the other defensemen in the league.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
Sharks should become deliciously squeezed next summer — assuming the cap sits flat, it’s already looking a bit tight for Couture’s raise. Best hope Burns becomes Lubo immediately!
www.battleofcali.com
Sharks should become deliciously squeezed next summer — assuming the cap sits flat, it’s already looking a bit tight for Couture’s raise.
Yeah but everyone knew that was going to be an issue when we traded for Burns in the first place. That’s why getting him to sign now, rather than squeezing the team way more when his deal is up, or leaving the team entirely for nothing through free agency, is a great move for the team.
Best hope Burns becomes Lubo immediately!
There’s a good chance Burns outscores Lubo this season. The only obstacle in the way is Dan Boyle hogging ice time – the curse of having too many talented players!
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
There’s a good chance Burns outscores Lubo this season.
It’s a 22-point gap he’s gotta make up — go optimism!
www.battleofcali.com
It’s a 22-point gap he’s gotta make up
Going from the Wild to the Sharks. It can happen.
Also Lubo’s turning 35 and had the highest point total of his career last year. What are the chances he’s going to trend up?
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Aug 1, 2011 9:01 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
It’s not impossible, but Burns is going to play 2nd option instead of first option now. Nobody’s taking Lubo’s role — he won’t increase, but I’m not expecting a cataclysmic drop. He was excellent down the stretch.
But it’s being paid for now whether it happens or not — go gambling.
www.battleofcali.com
by Earl Sleek on Aug 1, 2011 9:07 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions
So it’s settled – if Burns outscores Lubo this year, you have to do my laundry for a week! Huzzah!
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
I’d put in some injury clause, but I dunno — seems both guys are decently susceptible.
www.battleofcali.com
If there’s an injury then you don’t have to wash my socks.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
Wha We got plenty of cap space. We have 5 mill cap space and next year Niittymaki and Torrey Mitchell come off the books which would free up 3.4 more million for a total of 8.4 million. Couture will probably get a 3 million – 4 million dollar raise over what he’s making now and Burns will cost an extra 1.7 mill so we’ll still have 2.7 mill, and that’s if the cap doesn’t go up another 5+ mill like it did this year which it should.
and that’s if the cap doesn’t go up another 5+ mill like it did this year which it should.
I really don’t understand why hockey’s supposed to be economy-proof — I wouldn’t be shocked if it dropped.
www.battleofcali.com
Well it went up 5 mill this year and next year looks like it should be an even better year for the NHL with the NBC deal and the NBA lockout.
But even if the cap stays the same we won’t have anything to worry about.
Shrug — we’ll see. Too many factors being hidden from us to really have a useful conversation about it.
If the cap stays the same, you’ll be paying $52.1M for 6F, 5D, 1G, and none of the signed ones are named Couture. It fits, for sure, but it’ll be filled in pretty cheap.
www.battleofcali.com
Don't forget the new CBA
Could change everything drastically…
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
Yeah it is
For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.
by Nut on Aug 1, 2011 3:35 PM PDT up reply actions
Likely eleventh after Weber and Doughty are resigned.
"Douglas Murray is a humongous human being." – Drew Remenda
Tweet Tweet
I don't think Minny had a "problem" with him. I'm still rooting for him.
He was just the only chip we had to do anything with—and let’s face it, we had to do something. That per year is just about what I figured he would be worth here, if he were to stay. Congrats, Burnsie
Being from Minnesota, it would be rude to put something clever here.
hot sauna time machine!!
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 1, 2011 8:23 AM PDT reply actions
the dude with the mustache to teemu’s left cracks me up every time.
by meetyourmako on Aug 1, 2011 10:57 AM PDT up reply actions
who knew teemu was so friendly with bruno kerby?
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
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by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 1, 2011 10:57 AM PDT up reply actions
That’s the name of the guy I was trying to think of! From When Harry Met Sally and City Slickers! Thanks, Spade. That’s been driving me nuts!
by meetyourmako on Aug 1, 2011 11:02 AM PDT up reply actions
speaking of city slickers…bruno is Ed
Ed Furillo: [to Mitch] That was flirting.
Mitch Robbins: No, that was… politeness. That was “have a pleasant and restful evening.”
Ed Furillo: No, that was “I like your ass. Can I wear it as a hat?”
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 1, 2011 11:04 AM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
imdb
For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.
by Nut on Aug 1, 2011 3:39 PM PDT up reply actions
Hmmm.
Devils put Colin White and Trent Hunter on waivers for the purpose of a buyout. Will give them plenty of cap space.
www.battleofcali.com
They singed VAAAYOOOO, I just notice that on ILWT…Makes you sad doesn’t it…
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
The Movie/Book The Great Gatsby is about: a douche who crashes a car.
If the movie were about hockey: Heatley.
BOOOOO!!!!
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
by Angy on Aug 1, 2011 10:27 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Don’t blame me. Blame my high school AP classes that gave me the choice of the Grapes of Wrath, Slaughterhouse Five, and some other books that I can’t remember right now.
Slaughterhouse Five is a kickass book.
by Mudhippy on Aug 1, 2011 10:48 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Yeah I love the part where Montana Wildhack witnesses the bombing of Dresden.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
I really liked TimeQuake, as well. I think it’s one of the last one’s he wrote. No plot to speak of, again, but all the stuff that makes you like Vonnegut is there in spades.
by meetyourmako on Aug 1, 2011 10:59 AM PDT up reply actions
*ones
don’t know why I’ve been overpunctuating lately.
by meetyourmako on Aug 1, 2011 10:59 AM PDT up reply actions
The correct answer is Sirens of Titan.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
ive never heard of that fuckin book
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
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by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 1, 2011 11:06 AM PDT up reply actions
im not much of a voyuer(however u spell that)…i have to be in the action or I get bored
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 1, 2011 11:08 AM PDT up reply actions
I’ve been trying to find a trade paperback copy of that book in the old style with the giant Vi on the front FOREVER. They don’t make them like that anymore and I want it to match all his other books that I have.
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
Cat’s Cradle was better. So are a lot of Vonnegut’s books. I actually found Slaughterhouse 5 to be one of his more boring books.
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
Ahem, I already provided the answer above – Sirens of Titan. That’s the best one. The end.
Cat’s Cradle and God Bless You Mr. Rosewater are also great.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
Siren's of Titan was good
but I liked Cat’s Cradle and Player Piano the best.
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
Sirens of Titan is the best at articulating Vonnegut’s bleak optimism and his answers to the questions “Why are we here?” and “What’s the point?”
Cat’s Cradle is also a very good book.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
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Player Piano express Vonnegut’s outlook on the reduction of man’s role in society/life and how through the increase of industrialization development of technology we are further removing the human element and need for people to maintain a largely corporate world.
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
More like...
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
TimeQuake is about 250 pages of awesomeness.
by meetyourmako on Aug 1, 2011 12:56 PM PDT up reply actions
That’s one of his I’ve never read. I’ve been in the middle of Galapagos for like forever and I don’t want to start another one of his until I finish it. Hasn’t been holding my interest like many of his other works.
But I’ll def. check out TimeQuake next.
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
You could have read it in your own time.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
read? in own time??
(i actually enjoy reading)
Мы в любовь играли,
И как кровь из вены капает слеза.
WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP BABY!!!!
by sleza on Aug 1, 2011 11:06 AM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
hahahahahahaha
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 1, 2011 11:08 AM PDT up reply actions
This broad looks as old as Ang…
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
by Steven Hida on Aug 1, 2011 11:09 AM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
Screw you!
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
by Angy on Aug 1, 2011 11:11 AM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
Yes – in your own time. In fact, if you are looking for some new books to read check out Ghosts of Belfast and the follow up Collusion.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
House used to be such a funny guy…
"Douglas Murray is a humongous human being." – Drew Remenda
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Yeah, but where would I have found the time to work on space shuttles and satellites? Priorities, ya know?
Maybe if you people read more books you would have been better at explaining why we need to go to space, and we’d still have a shuttle program.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
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by Megalodon on Aug 1, 2011 12:42 PM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
“It tells me than goose-stepping morons like yourself should spend a little more time reading books instead of BURNING them!”
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
by PNK on Aug 1, 2011 12:46 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGXfGksgHjE
"Douglas Murray is a humongous human being." – Drew Remenda
Tweet Tweet
But in the Latin alphabet
Jehovah begins with an “I”
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
by PNK on Aug 2, 2011 9:14 AM PDT up reply actions
I’m sorry RedOscar but Meg wins this arguement.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
by Angy on Aug 1, 2011 12:50 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
Sad face.
Oh well, that’s ok. I never read Catcher in the Rye, either. I have no regrets about never reading that, though. But I did learn all about String Theory reading books by Susskind and Polchinski and the like. I even DVR’d Brian Greene’s NOVA miniseries about it!
I managed to make time for both Catcher in the Rye AND The Elegant Universe by skipping out on both studying and any sort of social life. I win/lose!
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Battle of California
by Megalodon on Aug 2, 2011 4:19 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Seriously though go read Gatsby and Catcher right now. They’re classics for a reason: they’re fucking awesome.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
Gatsby owns but Catcher is lame. I just want to punch that stupid Holden kid in the face so hard. Buy a regular hat, dipshit!
Screw you, Catcher is cool. You just don’t like it because that complaining teenage hero thing has been so over-done for the past twenty year,s, but it was a fresh idea at the time!
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
That comma in the middle of year,s was completely intentional.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
I'm gonna have to agree with Rudy
Catcher in the Rye was a total disappointment when I read it. I had heard a lot about it and how it was a classic and supposed to be such an amazing book.
I thought it sucked. It was lame and boring.
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
by PNK on Aug 2, 2011 4:32 PM PDT up reply actions
You people are just a bunch of phonies!
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Aug 2, 2011 4:35 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I want to punch 15-year-old me in the face for identifying with that Holden kid.
by meetyourmako on Aug 2, 2011 11:28 PM PDT up reply actions
boom
"Playin hurt, baby that don't faze me. I don't got time for pain. The only pain I've got time for is the pain I put on fools who don't know what time it is!"
The “spoiler alert” period for The Great Gatsby expired in 1935, sorry.
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Battle of California
by Megalodon on Aug 1, 2011 10:56 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
But Daisy crashed the car… unless you’re calling her a douche?
You beat me to it.
You are NOT going to get away with misrepresenting the plot of classic American literature around this blog, buddy.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Aug 1, 2011 10:55 AM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
The Movie/Book The Great Gatsby is about: a douche someone who crashes a car.
If the movie were about hockey: Heatley.
“Civilization’s going to pieces,” broke out Tom violently. “I’ve gotten to be a terrible pessimist about things. Have you read The Rise of the Colored Empires by this man Goddard?”
Sean Avery = Tom
by RudyKelly on Aug 1, 2011 11:13 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Actually
the book is about the death of the American Dream.
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
No, that’s Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
I know
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas was actually loosely modeled after the Great Gatsby. Look it up. I wrote a rather extensive paper on the topic.
Hunter Thompson himself makes the comparison in many of his letters. Did you know that he actually wrote out the Great Gastby in it’s entirety twice just to get the feel for F. Scott Fitzgerald’s writing style.
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
I disagree that is the central theme of Gatsby though. I think there are many more things it is “about” more than that.
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Battle of California
such as a woman crashing a car?
if I had to choose one over-arching theme of that book, it would be the death of the American Dream.
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
The American Dream is hooking up with your secret crush of 20 years?
by meetyourmako on Aug 1, 2011 12:57 PM PDT up reply actions
I feel the central theme of the book is more about the relationship between wealth and class and the individual, more than the death of the “anyone can come and work hard and become rich” American Dream. But obviously the two themes are related.
The car crashing thing was obviously wrong.
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Battle of California
That’s all the time we have for now – join us next week on “Battle of Bookifornia.”
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Battle of California
by Megalodon on Aug 1, 2011 12:59 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
He did become rich and threw awesome parties. He lived that dream. Why is him dying because he took the fall for someone, who didn’t have the time for him when he was rich or poor, the death of the American Dream?
You’re right. I think the phrase “the American Dream” gets used too much in analyzing stuff like this, when something more specific would be better.
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Until I someone spells out the connection between his untimely death and his rise to wealth I’m not going to accept Gatsby as the literary embodiment of the American Dream.
Captain America is the literary embodiment of the American Dream.
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Here are some brief bullet points
- he has to become a criminal to become a success
- he only becomes wealthy so he can win over Daisy, but once he is wealthy Daisy chooses not be with him
- although he is wealthy, he isn’t really happy, his life is hollow, it is merely an illusion, he created a life that he thought looked like what the American Dream was supposed to be
- he didn’t really have any friends other than Nick, everyone else was just a hanger-on, a party crasher, a sycophant
There’s other stuff, but you get the idea. Gatsby was a self-made man perhaps, but in the end he died unhappy and alone. All that he strove for eluded him and he was ultimately a failure.
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
by PNK on Aug 1, 2011 1:54 PM PDT up reply actions
Like you say they're related
So I considered that to be included as a part within the whole “death of the American Dream” theme.
But whatevs.
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
by PNK on Aug 1, 2011 1:01 PM PDT up reply actions
The Movie Napoleon Dynamite is about: An awkward kid trying to get though life.
If the movie were about hockey: Patrick Marleau trying to get through life.
by Mudhippy on Aug 1, 2011 11:16 AM PDT reply actions 4 recs
The Movie Borat is about: A foreigner coming to the United States and misunderstanding the language leading to funny interviews and situations.
If the movie were about hockey: Lubomir Visnovsky interviews.
by Mudhippy on Aug 1, 2011 11:18 AM PDT reply actions 3 recs
Over at Lighthouse Hockey, it sounds like the No’s are winning.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
They’re mad Blue Oyster Cult didn’t do an encore of “Godzilla.”
by meetyourmako on Aug 1, 2011 12:50 PM PDT up reply actions
The movie Nell is about: some crazy person who speaks a language no one can understand.
If the movie were about hockey: spade.
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by Megalodon on Aug 1, 2011 12:01 PM PDT reply actions 5 recs
As far as I know Spade has yet to show his tits
For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.
by Nut on Aug 1, 2011 3:45 PM PDT up reply actions
im not a whore…i have to be seduced
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 1, 2011 5:46 PM PDT up reply actions
Burns Extension
So Doug Wilson got his guy, and now he’s locked up for awhile. I just hope we aren’t too far out on a limb with this Burns deal. I understand all of the reasons why you want to extend him sooner rather than later, but the dude hasn’t even played a single game for us yet. Maybe there was a reason (other than money) that MIN was willing to deal Burns in the first place.
It seems like Wilson decided the team needed one more big star (defensemen) to get over the hump. Considering how many huge contracts SJ already has, I just hope he didn’t misunderstand the situation. Maybe the team would be better off with Burns’ salary spread out over a defensemen or two and a few 3rd line guys. I also saw that DET signed Ian White for under $3M per year.
I’m not upset or pessimistic, I’m actually excited and optimistic. But Wilson seems to be gambling more boldly these days, and it looks like he might have bet the house on Brett Burns.
it looks like he might have bet the house on Brett Burns.
The team is designed to win in the next couple of years. If they don’t then they’re screwed. Wilson is betting that Burns will make the team significantly better in the next couple of years, which doesn’t seem like too much of a long shot to me.
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by Megalodon on Aug 1, 2011 12:53 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Regarding Shark Week:
This article is really funny.
I hate it when people do this. "Sharks don’t mean to kill humans. Sometimes they just mistake surfboards and paddleboards for seals. That’s why they attack." Oh, that makes me feel better. My life is in the fins of a giant dinosaur with razor-sharp teeth who is too stupid to tell the difference between its favorite food and a piece of fiberglass. That would be like choosing to work as an assistant for a knife-thrower who routinely eats wax fruit by mistake.
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Battle of California
Here’s a video of Anderson Cooper diving with great whites and no cage. Went with some guy called “the Sharkman” because he swims with them all the time to learn about them and promote them as, not man-killers, just really big, really dangerous fish that occasionally eat men.
by meetyourmako on Aug 1, 2011 12:54 PM PDT up reply actions
Oh no! Another Ducks blogger on the internet — my days are surely numbered now. :)
www.battleofcali.com
I would rather watch an 8-7 game than a 2-1 game any day of the week.
He’s cheering for the right team.
by RudyKelly on Aug 1, 2011 2:32 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
He doesn’t use enough exclamation points!
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Battle of California
Also, for you late-nighters.
We’ll be making upgrades to @sbnation sites early tomorrow morning starting around 4 AM EDT. Issues may persist for 90 min. Thanks!
That’s 1 am Pacific.
www.battleofcali.com
The movie Captain America is about: a skinny American beefing up and beating the crap out of a German.
If the movie were about hockey:
Dump and chase
by cmatthew35 on Aug 1, 2011 3:06 PM PDT reply actions 3 recs
So Douglas Murray needs a new nickname
From Yahoo!‘s article where a guy reads the New Yorker’s article and tells us what he likes best. The article was about how more details came from the Bin Laden raids and one detail made me sad.
Bin Laden’s code name was ‘Crankshaft’Link for those interested here.
"You can't stop him, you can only hope to contain Kent Huskins!" - Randy Hahn 2/13/11
that or it makes it easy to draw comparisons to a mass murderer. Its too bad Murray isn’t austrian, then the jokes write themselves
These are the demands and sayings of tohon
almost certain osama bin laden wasn’t austrian…
by meetyourmako on Aug 2, 2011 11:29 PM PDT up reply actions
Okay, now I REALLY hate that Bin Laden guy.
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Battle of California
by Megalodon on Aug 1, 2011 4:11 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I Don't like Murray either...
That might be too much though…
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
On the morning of Sunday, May 1st, White House officials cancelled scheduled visits, ordered sandwich platters from Costco, and transformed the Situation Room into a war room
Fuck yeah, Costco helped kill bin Laden!
by meetyourmako on Aug 1, 2011 7:09 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
“He had been developing plans to assassinate Obama and Petraeus, to pull off an extravagant September 11th anniversary attack, and to attack American trains. The SEALs also found an archive of digital pornography.”
Will the contents of their find be released to the public?
"We find it on all these guys, whether they’re in Somalia, Iraq, or Afghanistan," the special-operations officer said.
…or on any dude’s computer anywhere in the world.
Totally on-topic:
Do we have a moral imperative to enhance the intelligence of animals?
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Battle of California
I’m still thinking about it but my initial answer is: yeah, I guess so.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
No way! If we give them intelligence, we’re fucked! Animals already do everything else better than us! Cats, for instance, can move silently and see in the dark. They can climb, run, and jump better than us. They have retractable claws! You want to give them the ability to communicate and plot against us? What’s next? Opposable thumbs?!
I mean, cats are already trying to kill us every second of every day. If they were smarter or had thumbs it’d be game over.
If Cats were in charge of the Nazi party the allies would have been fucked.
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
No, he would have been fucked too…. Cat Scientists would have reversed the process, making him worthless again.
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
A Captain Americat shouldn’t be out of reach.
by meetyourmako on Aug 1, 2011 4:58 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
lol
So I just read that brief little blurb and I’d like to read the whole article, but that guy is ff his rocker if he thinks we have a MORAL IMPERATIVE to enhance the intelligence of animals. That is some grade-A baloney and I really want to read his article and see how he defends that position.
Disregarding my own position on morality that morality is simply dictated by the social climate and is in a constant state of flux, even if you take a more static, objective view of morality I don’t see how you can make the argument that we are in any way obligated to enhance the intelligence of animals, especially when the resources spent doing so could be put to much better use improving the quality of life of many human beings.
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
by PNK on Aug 1, 2011 4:38 PM PDT up reply actions
If we accept the following propositions, I could see it being a moral imperative:
1) Intelligence is good.
2) We should try to increase intelligence throughout the human race.
3) “Higher” animals have rights similar to that of humans, and should be treated similarly.
The biggest problem I see is what you’ve identified: the question of limited resources. With limited resources then the greater moral imperative will be geared towards helping humanity, and I feel that’s correct. But if we ever got to the point as a species where we would be able to enhance animal intelligence without wasting resources that would be better used improving the lives of people, I think then that would be the right thing to do, morally speaking.
Obviously we’ll never live to see that point, resource-wise, but it’s fun to think about.
I just really really want to talk to a squirrel.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
Yes intelligence is good and we should try to increase it thoughout the human race, but have you seen the human race? Not every aspires to be intelligent. As to animals having similar rights as humans, no. If they were to have the same rights, they would be human. They would have the same DNA, same social structure, everything. But they do not, they are animals. Yes we should treat them with respect, but to modify to give them intelligence is not respectful.
Appreciate the animals for what they are. Don’t try to improve mother nature.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
SPADES Army Strikes Again!!!!!
Everyone*
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
UGH!!! I was watching Serenity while typing that.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
I support this prioritization.
www.battleofcali.com
by Earl Sleek on Aug 1, 2011 5:05 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
wooooooooooooooo!!!! charge ahead mongrols!!!
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 1, 2011 5:48 PM PDT up reply actions
Not everyone aspires to be intelligent.
To me this could potentially be a dangerous stance to take, since it could justify only enhancing the intelligence and abilities of the “right” kind of people – and who gets to define what “right” is? We should spread the wealth, intelligence-wise
As to animals having similar rights as humans, no.
This is a valid point of disagreement, and I respect your opinion. I don’t feel that animals should have identical rights to humans, but it’s hard for me to accept that highly-intelligent animals like dolphins and gorillas shouldn’t be treated with the same respect and rights as humans.
Don’t try to improve mother nature.
Disagree. Medical science as a whole is an effort to beat mother nature “play God,” and I’m in favor of it.
I’m so bored today.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
I don’t feel that animals should have identical rights to humans, but it’s hard for me to accept that highly-intelligent animals like dolphins and gorillas shouldn’t be treated with the same respect and rights as humans.
There’s a cautionary film you need to check out.
What is your stance on cloning and the rights clones should have?
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
A clone is exactly the same as a twin, just born at a different time. They would logically have full human rights.
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Battle of California
Airlock that bastard.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Aug 1, 2011 5:12 PM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
Damn I’m going to have to respond to this later – boys want to play Clue.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Oh my goodness – it was Professor Plum in the library with the wrench!
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
We should be good to dolphins because they save from drowning and seem to like us more than because of their intelligence.
Nope. Dolphins are assholes.
For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.
by Nut on Aug 1, 2011 8:21 PM PDT up reply actions
My biggest qualm:
Highly intelligent animals are still not as intelligent as humans.
We’re amazed when you can train animals to do simple tasks and tricks. Human beings have built skyscrapers and nuclear energy and sent a man to the moon and have developed incredibly in-depth and complex philosophies.
Sure, it’s cool when a gorilla or chimp can learn 150 words in sign-language, but rocket science that ain’t.
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
by PNK on Aug 1, 2011 6:10 PM PDT up reply actions
Yes but
The smartest animals are more intelligent and self-aware than babies or people who are severely disabled.
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Battle of California
That isn’t a fair comparison. If you want to do a like comparison – do baby animals to baby humans, etc.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
And severely disabled animals get attacked by their own or get left behind.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
I promise to kick the next mentally ill child I see then.
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
Look out, spade!
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Battle of California
by Megalodon on Aug 1, 2011 6:24 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
Well, baby animals are much more capable when they are born, but allowing our brains to develop so much after we’re born is what allows us to be so smart.
A gorilla is smarter than a baby. You can make the argument that a baby has much more potential, so is worth more. If a gorilla could have the potential for great intelligence and self-awareness through science then I think we should help it reach that potential.
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Battle of California
I think our money is better spent
allowing computers to feel pain.
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
by PNK on Aug 1, 2011 6:23 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Agreed. That’ll teach you to beat me in chess, you son of a bitch.
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Battle of California
Hey, does anybody remember Battlechess where the pieces walked around and stabbed each other and stuff?
I didn’t have that one but I had Star Wars chess where when you captured a piece it played an animation of the characters killing each other and it was SO AWESOME.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
Hey, does anybody remember Battlechess where the pieces walked around and stabbed each other and stuff?
I had this. The rook turned into a brick monster and ate people, it was awesome.
by RudyKelly on Aug 1, 2011 6:33 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
meetyourmako is asking in the right place.
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Battle of California
the king drew a pistol also…it was an awesme game
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 1, 2011 7:13 PM PDT up reply actions
did you try throwing it in google followed by the word torrent?
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
well according to wiki...
A new version of Battle Chess is currently in development by Subdued Software via a license from Interplay Entertainment. It is set for a release date of Summer 2011 for the PC and ipad/iphone
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
I hope they don’t think they’re going to take the BoC acronym without a fight. I mean, there won’t be a fight at all, but I hope they think there will be.
www.battleofcali.com
They’re chess geeks AND computer nerds. We’ve found the only group on the Internet we could possibly intimidate!
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Battle of California
Plus we’re all really tough from watching so much hockey.
by meetyourmako on Aug 1, 2011 10:34 PM PDT up reply actions
I loved that.
For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.
by Nut on Aug 1, 2011 8:23 PM PDT up reply actions
The fact that human beings assign value to living beings even if those living beings cannot defend themselves is one of the best traits we have as a species, and it’s that same impulse that should drive us to make super-smart monkey men!
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Battle of California
That’s the smart thing to do
For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.
by Nut on Aug 1, 2011 8:22 PM PDT up reply actions
My point is basically that the main “value” that I feel exists in a living thing has to do with its self-aware nature, its intelligence, and its capacity for suffering, and it’s difficult for me to understand why those traits are somehow magically reserved for humans, when certain animals can exceed certain humans in these areas.
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Battle of California
Of course I’m basically a huge hypocrite because some animals like pigs happen to be smart AND delicious.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
My point is basically that the main "value" that I feel exists in a living thing has to do with its self-aware nature, its intelligence, and its capacity for suffering, and it’s difficult for me to understand why those traits are somehow magically reserved for humans, when certain animals can exceed certain humans in these areas.
You make some very interesting points, Meg. Or should I say…
CHANDLER?!?!?!?
by RudyKelly on Aug 1, 2011 8:29 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Holy shit! See this is why i voted for Maggie. I knew there was something off about Chandler when i stared into those cold reflective cat eyes of his.
As I said above, I am completely for respecting animals. Hell I’ve had pets since I was little and still not really over my last cat no longer being here and that was over 16 years ago. I think even those animals that will end up in a grocery store should be treated as humanely as possible, but moral imperative to enhance their intelligence? Hell I draw the line at a cow telling me “If you don’t mind, I would prefer you don’t eat me.” … :)
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
“If a cow ever got the chance it’d eat you and everyone you ever cared about!”
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Aug 1, 2011 6:23 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
That's the ticket!
We need to use our advanced technology to genetically engineer smarter animals that WANT to be eaten!
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
by PNK on Aug 1, 2011 6:30 PM PDT up reply actions
Good for them
maybe in a few million years they’ll evolve into something smarter. But by then we’ll probably have giant heads capable of telepathy and telekinesis.
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
by PNK on Aug 1, 2011 6:16 PM PDT up reply actions
No..Humans will probably be dead.
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
With all their knowledge and science, the humans destroyed themselves!
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
Right now they have a board with a nail in it. But they won’t stop there. Soon they will make bigger boards with bigger nails until they make a board with a nail in it so big it will destroy them all!
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
by PNK on Aug 1, 2011 6:25 PM PDT up reply actions
You might have to compare a completely uneducated human to an animal for a more fair comparison i think. Like a totally feral “raised by wolves” type of person.
hey im ejumacated
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 1, 2011 6:24 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
That looks waaaaay too close to ejaculated for my comfort.
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
by PNK on Aug 1, 2011 6:26 PM PDT up reply actions
wear a face shield just in case
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 1, 2011 7:15 PM PDT up reply actions
I imagine it would be soething like this:
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
by PNK on Aug 1, 2011 6:06 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
You've all been had!
That’s just some dumbass viral marketing shit for the new Planet of the Apes movie, and it seems to be working pretty well lol.
Why would we enhance the intelligence of animals? We need to be working on enhancing the intelligence of humans, and halting overpopulation.
Becoming insanely intelligent won’t make you happy. The death of the New American Dream.
by meetyourmako on Aug 1, 2011 5:26 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
lmao. Anyone who gets below a 1000 on their SATs gets executed.
I mean more like not allowing poor people to have like 10 kids they can’t support, who all end up being unable to function in normal society because their parents couldn’t/didn’t take the time to raise them properly.
I doubt the US will ever put a limit on children though considering how against abortions people are in this country. I guess we’ll just have to wait for China to rule the world, which shouldn’t be too long.
Deport those fuckers…
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
I meant instead of executing stupid people…
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
Right you were just discriminating on the basis of economic class and intelligence. That’s allowed.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
I’m not saying we should do anything about the people already born in that situation. I’m just saying we can’t let people continue to have tons of kids that they cannot support financially or emotionally.
I was obviously kidding about executing people who get low SAT scores lol.
I know, I was just joking.
Have you read any of the Ishmael books? They’re right up your alley.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
No I haven’t but it sounds interesting. I actually haven’t really thought about this stuff until now really.
For some reason BoC seems to inspire me to think deeply on the issues that really matter in this world…overpopulation, the future of the human race, and burritos lol.
The Ishmael books contain very well-reasoned arguments, from an environmentalist, liberal, sorta-Marxist perspective, that the moral course of action is to let everyone in the world who is starving just starve to death, in order to correct the problem of over-population.
They also inspired the crazy bastard who took hostages at the Discover Channel.
And, for bonus points, the books feature a super-intelligent talking gorilla.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
I always like the Soylent Green approach to starving people…
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
Gotta do somthing with all the dead people…might as well feed the worthless.
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
Logan run would be fun. A game show where you get to go into the ring and there is a chanch you can win another day.
All the dudes would have to wear tight spandex and the gals outfits would be skimpy but surprisingly comforable.
Let's go Ducks.
Are you thinking of Running Man?
Wasn’t Logan’s Run when all the old people are terminated once they reach a certain age and that thing in their hand starts blinking?
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
by PNK on Aug 2, 2011 9:19 AM PDT up reply actions
Logan run was where you went into the ring at 30. But the people were told that sometimes they didn’t die (they were lied to). Then Logan runs down some kind of back tunnel that no one had ever successfully escaped from before and goes outside and sits in the capital building where the desks are all old and meets some old dude and then breaks everyone out and everyone lives happily ever after for a week when they die of starvation cause no one knows how to cook and survive in the wild.
Let's go Ducks.
hey light head?…hey christmas tree!!!…
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 2, 2011 2:21 PM PDT up reply actions
Here is Sub-Zero
Now… PLAIN ZERO!
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
by PNK on Aug 2, 2011 2:51 PM PDT up reply actions
That movie has not one, but two body-builders turned state governors.
by meetyourmako on Aug 2, 2011 11:31 PM PDT up reply actions
haha holy fuck..
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
well more like holy shit I guess….
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
by Steven Hida on Aug 1, 2011 8:12 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
Wow that James Lee guy is pretty crazy. He seems to be anti-human rather than just anti-overpopulation.
Personally i just realize that we have limited resources on the planet and so the human population can’t continue to increase exponentially otherwise our quality of life will just continue to decrease until we completely run out of resources.
I’m definitely not an ‘ends justify the means’ kinda guy though, if i’ve come off that way.
I think my source material is just the movie Idiocracy lol. Anyone who hasn’t seen it should check it out, it’s a good movie (a comedy).
I didn’t like the movie that much, but it’s almost because it’s concept was too good. The first five minutes of the movie are an incredible setup, then I felt a bit let down for the next hour and a half or whatever.
www.battleofcali.com
I know shit’s bad right now with all that starvin’ bullshit. And the dust storms. And we runnin’ out of French Fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution.
If you don’t laugh at that then you’ve got real problems, mister.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
Well, don’t want to sound like a dick or nothin’, but, ah… it says on your chart that you’re fucked up. Ah, you talk like a fag, and your shit’s all retarded.
Used before, but I love that line.
For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.
by Nut on Aug 1, 2011 10:50 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
It's cool man
my second wife was ’tarded.
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
by PNK on Aug 2, 2011 9:20 AM PDT up reply actions
Unless you just meant that we should deport them to the moon or something, but that seems a little drastic.
Tom Cruise and Willzyx can keep them entertained.
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
by PNK on Aug 1, 2011 6:36 PM PDT up reply actions
You’ve got it backwards – that new Planet of the Apes movie is just part of a viral marketing campaign for the foundation this guy is writing for, the Institute for Ethics and Emerging Technologies.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
You’ve got it backwards – that new Planet of the Apes movie is just part of a viral marketing campaign for the foundation this guy is writing for, the Institute for Ethics and Emerging Technologies.
A picture of our author:
by RudyKelly on Aug 1, 2011 5:40 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
“We need to, like, make animals smart enough to talk, man, so they can teach us how to, like…chill out.”
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
I just remembered this quote from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back...ontopiciswear...
Holy fuck, is that monkey waving at us? Oh shit, it understood us! Maybe it’s some kind of supermonkey. What if there’s more supermonkeys up at that lab? [shouts] What if they’re creating an army of them? Holy shit. It must be a conspiracy like in the X-Files… Roswell style! This little monkey could be the fuckin’ damn dirty ape responsible for the fall of the human race. In this world gone mad, we won’t spank the monkey — the monkey will spank us. And after the fall of man, these monkey fucks’ll start wearing our clothes and rebuilding the world in their image. Oh, and only those as super-smart as me will be left alive to bitterly cry “You maniacs! Damn yous! Goddamn yous all to hell!”
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
by Steven Hida on Aug 1, 2011 9:42 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I cannot even watch those commercials for Shark week those poor seals, but the music is awesome — “show me your teeth”.
Let's go Ducks.
hey according to the fishermen they interviewed on one of the shows..those damn seals eat all the bass…those poor bass…he said..i hope hundreds of sharks take out those seals!!! (paraphrase)
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 1, 2011 7:17 PM PDT up reply actions
Ohh that’s alright then cause letting those bass live a long life and die of old age is important.
Let's go Ducks.
But I wish duckie has teeth so that they could play that song during the game. Dang it is good. I am ashamed to admit that I sometimes like a Lady Gaga song.
Let's go Ducks.
We made the Shark too smart...
and he ate the fucking sun!!!!
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
by Steven Hida on Aug 1, 2011 7:32 PM PDT up reply actions 4 recs
i laughed hysterically at this
"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 2, 2011 9:16 AM PDT up reply actions
Does anyone else remember Shark Week from a few years ago where the guy is in a wading pool with a bunch of sharks circling around his legs, thinking none of them are going to touch him? Then one shark comes up to him, bumps him, and then another shark takes a “test bite” out of his leg? Then they showed what his leg looked like afterwards and it looked like someone CGI’d his entire calf off with bits of flesh hanging off?
Yeah, the Discovery Channel scarred me for life after that.
Yeah that was the best thing that has ever happened.
San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California
here are mine
Hot tub time machine: A movie about some guys who discover a hot tub time machine.
In Hockey: The same except replace cast with Selanne, Chelios, Recchi, and Roloson.
Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail: A movie about a group of incompetent knights and their King who fail on their quest to find the holy grail.
In Hockey: The Edmenton Oilers, they discover Castle Anthrax in Winnipeg, except it actually has anthrax.
I'm warning you! I have ADHD and I know how to use it!!!
Good job Giants, now win 3 more world series titles and then you just might be worthy of being mentioned in the same league as the A's.
THAT IS NABOKOV IN NET NOT NITTYMAKISHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!
San Jose: Being Kept save from ferocious enemies by the Sharks and Earthquakes since 91 and 96.
Free Willy:
In hockey: Kyle Wellwood on waivers.
by ScottyKnows on Aug 2, 2011 11:07 AM PDT reply actions 3 recs
Despicable Me: A bunch of silly minions led by a crappy leader.
In hockey: San Jose Sharks.
by ScottyKnows on Aug 2, 2011 12:16 PM PDT reply actions 2 recs
So I’ve had The Great Gatsby in my Netflix Queue for a while now and I noticed today that it inexplicably has “long wait” next to it and I’m wondering if a bunch of people all ordered it on Netflix after the conversation the other day…
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
There's a Paul Rudd version?
I was talking about the one with what’s his face, The Sundance Kid. Um…. What’s his name, damnit! He was in Spy Game and The Natural. Fuck imdb, I’m gonna remember this and you’re all gonna have to read me trying to think of it!
AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WHy can’t I remember his name!?!
Robert Redford! BAM! Eat it age of technology! Let’s see a monkey do THAT!
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
by PNK on Aug 2, 2011 2:09 PM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
I seriously sat at my computer for like 5-10 minutes trying to think of his name.
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
by PNK on Aug 2, 2011 6:05 PM PDT up reply actions
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