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Relaxin'

Sun_clipart_4_medium

Picture Patrick Marleau relaxing in a deck chair next to a pool. The sun is shining. It's pleasantly hot.

Patrick's wearing a straw hat and sunglasses. In his hand he has a glass of something brightly colored. The drink has a decorative umbrella in it that is so big he has to take it out every time he wants a sip.

It's summer time, and Patrick doesn't have a care in the world.

Is he worried about his team's best defenseman holding out all year?

Nope.

Is he worried about the second-best player on his team announcing his retirement right before the season starts?

Nah.

He's just chillin'.

There's plenty of time for worry later. Soon Patrick will realize that he remembered his headphones but forgot his iPod. He'll spill his drink all over himself. His hat will be stolen by a stiff breeze. He'll try to get up out of the chair but he'll lean on one of the arms and it will break and the whole thing will tip over and he'll end up sprawled on the hot concrete.

Savor this time, Sharks fans. It'll be over far too soon.


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He’s wearing a shirt the whole time, right?

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Aug 6, 2011 8:11 AM PDT reply actions  

And socks with his sandals. Height adjusted to try and get rid of that tan line, of course.

Enjoying the Shady Acres of hockey blogging retirement. No, that's not the Florida Panthers.

by Mike Chen on Aug 6, 2011 9:28 AM PDT up reply actions  

its an imitation hawaiian shirt..but he tells everyone it isnt

"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 6, 2011 10:19 AM PDT up reply actions  

What kind of sunglasses do you think he wears?

Leslie Knope: "...but it has a lot of heart."
April Ludgate: "That's what people always say when something sucks."
Fear The Fin's Fifth-String Moderator !!

by idunno723 on Aug 6, 2011 10:25 AM PDT up reply actions  

He probably just squints alot

by Darthgooch on Aug 6, 2011 10:27 AM PDT up reply actions  

He’s got the layers of sunscreen coated on his nose and one of those mirror things to reflect the rays of the sun to get under his chin (although secretly he hides the latest Danielle Steel romance novel inside so no one can see… but he ruins his own secret by texting everyone in his address book steamy plot details)

Top o' 209

by rowdy_rabbi on Aug 6, 2011 10:46 AM PDT up reply actions  

bq.one of those mirror things to reflect the rays of the sun to get under his chin

I’ve seen these a million times in shows and movies but never knew it was for under chin tanning. Never really thought about it before, but now every time I see one I’ll know what they’re for. Thanks.

"There is no gravity son, the world just sucks." - my father.

by tu madre on Aug 8, 2011 6:13 AM PDT up reply actions  

he wears the ones that David Caruso wears, and every time he puts them on… he goes YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Hell on Ice/In Lou We Trust/Twitter
Talking toilet, you may call me Jane.

by Kevin Sellathamby on Aug 6, 2011 11:17 AM PDT up reply actions  

kick ass

"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 6, 2011 12:29 PM PDT up reply actions  

None

He just brushes his eyebrows down

Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn

by PNK on Aug 6, 2011 1:24 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions  

Which ever kind he wears he secures them with Croakies

For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.

by Nut on Aug 6, 2011 2:08 PM PDT up reply actions  

hahahaha

"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 6, 2011 3:27 PM PDT up reply actions  

ugh … if only my summer was relaxing.

GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)

by Angy on Aug 6, 2011 9:18 AM PDT reply actions  

Hello from wine country!

I’m spending the next 3 days getting pleasantly drunk on some of the Russian River Valley’s finest vintages. Right now I’m just killing time in my hotel room with Shark Week on until the car service comes and picks us up.

Aaahhhhh, Summer!

Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn

by PNK on Aug 6, 2011 9:48 AM PDT up reply actions  

Nice. I’m spending the summer frantically looking for a job before my contract time runs out on this one. Plus my uncle passed away yesterday and I’m a bit down about that.

But hey, going camping next weekend. That will be fun.

I would rather be in wine country right now.

GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)

by Angy on Aug 6, 2011 9:54 AM PDT up reply actions  

Talk about whine country!

Sorry. That sounds really rough.

San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Aug 6, 2011 9:57 AM PDT up reply actions  

I’m up in Seattle, learning to do movie stunts, and drinking in my off time. Tomorrow I learn how to fall down stairs!

Did you know they have this place called Cinebarre up here, that is a fully functioning bar, and a movie theater? Just saw Capt. America, and was able to order a Guinness from my seat!

UNRELATED: Handel is the most overrated composer ever...

by Bleys on Aug 6, 2011 10:08 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions  

Tomorrow I learn how to fall down stairs!

Shouldn’t be too hard. Pretend the bottom step is a goaltender and pretend you’re Corey Perry.

www.battleofcali.com

by Earl Sleek on Aug 6, 2011 10:25 PM PDT up reply actions  

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope Nabokov finds Perry all alone in a back alone, so he and Vlasic can get some revenge.

I'm warning you! I have ADHD and I know how to use it!!!
Good job Giants, now win 3 more world series titles and then you just might be worthy of being mentioned in the same league as the A's.
THAT IS NABOKOV IN NET NOT NITTYMAKISHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!
San Jose: Being Kept save from ferocious enemies by the Sharks and Earthquakes since 91 and 96.

by Diamondback15 on Aug 7, 2011 10:05 AM PDT up reply actions  

in a back alley. summer is frying my vbrain.

I'm warning you! I have ADHD and I know how to use it!!!
Good job Giants, now win 3 more world series titles and then you just might be worthy of being mentioned in the same league as the A's.
THAT IS NABOKOV IN NET NOT NITTYMAKISHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!
San Jose: Being Kept save from ferocious enemies by the Sharks and Earthquakes since 91 and 96.

by Diamondback15 on Aug 7, 2011 10:13 AM PDT up reply actions  

what?…..i want a cinebarre in my town…yet…i sneak in drinks anyways…cheaper..yet thats still cool to hear…nice

stunt man?…i could use you for a couple things..im sure u look hispanic and dashing like me…..

"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 8, 2011 5:51 AM PDT up reply actions  

There’s a Cinebar in San Jose! but it’s just a bar…

by meetyourmako on Aug 8, 2011 8:27 AM PDT up reply actions  

Cheers

Here’s to (hopefully) another 3 or 4 years out of our current core. I’m hoping that, after the first Stanley Cup, our defense remains stable enough that we can play serious spoiler in the playoffs and maybe steal one with an aging core, sorta like Detroit did a few years back.

by Dermal Denticles on Aug 6, 2011 2:15 PM PDT reply actions  

So you work for Sharks fans. Good to know.

by RedOscar on Aug 7, 2011 12:53 AM PDT up reply actions  

likes the kings..and works for sharks fans…I think im taking over the ducks duties around here!!

"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 8, 2011 5:52 AM PDT up reply actions  

Sharks win the race to three trades with the same team this summer.

The San Jose Sharks acquired James Sheppard from the Minnesota Wild on Saturday in exchange for a third round draft pick in 2013.

www.battleofcali.com

by Earl Sleek on Aug 6, 2011 8:04 PM PDT reply actions  

So do we now have sheep jokes to look forward to from Meg?

by RedOscar on Aug 6, 2011 10:17 PM PDT up reply actions  

Mostly white sheep, I’m guessing.

www.battleofcali.com

by Earl Sleek on Aug 6, 2011 10:23 PM PDT up reply actions  

the san jose Sharks gone Wild……

"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 8, 2011 5:53 AM PDT up reply actions  

It's pretty bad

Go check out Hockey Wilderness. They couldn’t be happier with the deal, and I can’t blame them. Wonder what Doug Wilson has up his sleeve this time…

Maybe the opposite of what happened when we go Heatley. Is it too early to call Sheppard a 80 goal scorer in 2 years?

by Dermal Denticles on Aug 6, 2011 11:07 PM PDT up reply actions  

Disclaimer: this is probably too soon

Burns tweets:
“Sad to hear about another tragedy in afghan.Let’s never forget why we get to enjoy great things in life! Thanks to everyone serving our ctry”

Kudos to him. It’s the right sentiment and the whole thing is a tragedy. And I can’t help but think about what that tweet would look like if Couture had written it:

“Sad to hear about another tragedy in afghan.But did you hear about the sharks exploding with trades this summer? #prayingforourtroops”

by warning on Aug 6, 2011 9:51 PM PDT reply actions  

A disclaimer from a user named ‘warning’ — I should pay double attention to that.

Nice. :)

www.battleofcali.com

by Earl Sleek on Aug 6, 2011 10:22 PM PDT up reply actions  

Sad to hear about another tragedy in afghan.

Jeeves ruined another one of Dan Ellis’ blankets???

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Aug 7, 2011 9:27 AM PDT up reply actions  

Did he spill, low grade, poor mans coffee on it?

I'm warning you! I have ADHD and I know how to use it!!!
Good job Giants, now win 3 more world series titles and then you just might be worthy of being mentioned in the same league as the A's.
THAT IS NABOKOV IN NET NOT NITTYMAKISHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!
San Jose: Being Kept save from ferocious enemies by the Sharks and Earthquakes since 91 and 96.

by Diamondback15 on Aug 7, 2011 10:12 AM PDT up reply actions  

sun shine? i need to get an invitation to marleau’s pool….

Мы в любовь играли,
И как кровь из вены капает слеза.

WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP BABY!!!!

by sleza on Aug 7, 2011 5:30 AM PDT reply actions  

Yay prospect!

Devante Smith-Pelly of the Mississauga St. Michael’s Majors was a standout player for White. In addition to a goal and an assist, the Anaheim Ducks prospect threw several hard checks in the first period.

Smith-Pelly sparked White’s comeback with a power-play goal in the third period when his team trailed 4-1.

"Smith-Pelly I thought was the best player on the ice," head coach Don Hay stated. "Physically he really went after people. He was a force and you knew he was on the ice every shift he had. He took pucks hard to the net, was able to a score a goal and got an assist."

This is all at the Canada junior summer camp or something.

www.battleofcali.com

by Earl Sleek on Aug 7, 2011 12:50 PM PDT reply actions  

hey devante…be that pleasent surprise like fowler last year…

signed all ducks fans

"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 8, 2011 5:55 AM PDT up reply actions  

Was doing some number-exploring for another post, and came up with this random BoC pride stat:

The Ducks, Kings, and Sharks had a combined 17-2-1 record against 100+ point eastern conference opponents last season.

That’s pretty insane, actually.

www.battleofcali.com

by Earl Sleek on Aug 7, 2011 5:14 PM PDT reply actions  

Were the Kings the only team to lose?

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Aug 7, 2011 5:23 PM PDT up reply actions  

They were the only team to lose twice. Ducks lost one of their games against Washington, too.

www.battleofcali.com

by Earl Sleek on Aug 7, 2011 5:25 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions  

dont bring that game up earl

"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 8, 2011 5:55 AM PDT up reply actions  

I know, I know — that game was the worst. The start of McElhinney’s “Let’s let every other shot in” campaign.

www.battleofcali.com

by Earl Sleek on Aug 8, 2011 6:19 AM PDT up reply actions  

Wait

so if all 3 teams were a combined 17-2-1, hat means they all only lost 3 games total. And if the Kings lost twice the Ducks lost once, hmm, that means something about the Sharks…

Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn

by PNK on Aug 8, 2011 9:45 AM PDT up reply actions  

Yeah I wasn’t going to point that out. :)

GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)

by Angy on Aug 8, 2011 10:08 AM PDT up reply actions  

Sharks only had to play 6 games against that set of teams; Ducks and Kings had 7 each. Sharks would have lost that next one (I hope).

www.battleofcali.com

by Earl Sleek on Aug 8, 2011 10:57 AM PDT up reply actions  

That is how awesome we are.

GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)

by Angy on Aug 7, 2011 7:11 PM PDT up reply actions  

And yet, the Cup is probably sitting on a bar along Boston Harbor…

by RedOscar on Aug 7, 2011 9:33 PM PDT up reply actions  

Boston’s the only franchise in BoC history to win a Stanley Cup and yet be victim of a state rape within the same season. :)

www.battleofcali.com

by Earl Sleek on Aug 7, 2011 9:50 PM PDT up reply actions  

CENSAAHED!!!

classic.

"Douglas Murray is a humongous human being." – Drew Remenda
Tweet Tweet

by Evilducks on Aug 7, 2011 11:45 PM PDT up reply actions  

excellent

"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 8, 2011 5:56 AM PDT up reply actions  

Man

The NHL should have really shaken things up and had the cross over happen int the Conference finals as opposed to the Stanley Cup this year…

"Playin hurt, baby that don't faze me. I don't got time for pain. The only pain I've got time for is the pain I put on fools who don't know what time it is!"

by Semi_Colon on Aug 8, 2011 5:53 PM PDT up reply actions  

meat curtians!!!! its monday!!

"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 8, 2011 5:56 AM PDT reply actions  

Only 3-7 weeks until Teemu delays his decision again!

www.battleofcali.com

by Earl Sleek on Aug 8, 2011 6:20 AM PDT up reply actions  

If you guys haven’t seen The Guard yet, go watch it. It’s hilarious.

GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)

by Angy on Aug 8, 2011 6:47 AM PDT reply actions  

Good idea, Ang. Today might be a solid day for movie recommendations — not sure much is going to happen in the hockey world, anyways.

www.battleofcali.com

by Earl Sleek on Aug 8, 2011 6:56 AM PDT up reply actions  

And while I don’t really have any (uh, Trollhunter was all right), I’m still laughing at the ending of last night’s Curb Your Enthusiasm. Go LD!

www.battleofcali.com

by Earl Sleek on Aug 8, 2011 7:09 AM PDT up reply actions  

Yeah Troll Hunter wasn’t bad. It could have been better but I didn’t walk out thinking I wasted my time and money.

GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)

by Angy on Aug 8, 2011 7:40 AM PDT up reply actions  

I liked it all right, though the government cover-up stuff at the end wasn’t that helpful. I do love yelling “TROOOOOLLLL!”, though.

www.battleofcali.com

by Earl Sleek on Aug 8, 2011 10:58 AM PDT up reply actions  

“What the fuck was that, is he a mime?”

For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.

by Nut on Aug 8, 2011 5:20 PM PDT up reply actions  

Just watched "Hanna"

I thought it was really good. The music in it was pretty sick too.

by Khaaz on Aug 8, 2011 5:07 PM PDT up reply actions  

Watch Memento again. Or Cliffhanger. Goldeneye. Heist. Porn. Frailty. Black Book. Robocop. Predator. Rob Roy. Way of the Gun. The Other Guys. They’ve all been part of my summer watchlist and they all rule.

For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.

by Nut on Aug 8, 2011 5:32 PM PDT up reply actions  

If you have Netflix Instant Watch you should check out Black Death. It has Sean Bean in it and HOLY FUCK is it awesome. It’s the best movie I’ve seen in a while.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Aug 8, 2011 5:48 PM PDT up reply actions  

Goldeneye: The Best Bond Movie.

by meetyourmako on Aug 9, 2011 1:20 AM PDT up reply actions  

Word

For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.

by Nut on Aug 9, 2011 6:24 AM PDT up reply actions  

what?…octopussy…ive never seen it…just on name alone

"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 9, 2011 6:54 AM PDT up reply actions  

Gator dont take no shit from no bitches

"There is no gravity son, the world just sucks." - my father.

by tu madre on Aug 8, 2011 6:05 PM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

There’s plenty of time for worry later

Say…around March? April?

by ScottyKnows on Aug 8, 2011 11:15 AM PDT reply actions  

May you jerk.

GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)

by Angy on Aug 8, 2011 11:17 AM PDT up reply actions  

There’s plenty of time for worry later

Like when they trade Marc-Edouard Vlasic for a 3rd liner?

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Aug 8, 2011 11:24 AM PDT up reply actions  

Luckily Doug Wilson is not as crazy as Sharks fans, so this won’t happen.

San Jose Sharks 2011 Off-Season: Shock and Balls
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Aug 8, 2011 12:08 PM PDT up reply actions  

Nah, by May you’re already shooting yourselves.

by ScottyKnows on Aug 8, 2011 11:39 AM PDT up reply actions  

May you jerk.

Usually I save that comment for this guy:

:)

www.battleofcali.com

by Earl Sleek on Aug 8, 2011 11:42 AM PDT up reply actions  

The lack of comma in Angy’s post coupled with the picture of Brad May has me thinking Earl’s got a little more than Brad May on the mind.

by RedOscar on Aug 8, 2011 12:17 PM PDT up reply actions  

Mayday was a great jerk; that’s really all I’m saying. :)

www.battleofcali.com

by Earl Sleek on Aug 8, 2011 12:52 PM PDT up reply actions  

May you jerk

forever with hands of sandpaper, Sir!

by meetyourmako on Aug 8, 2011 1:08 PM PDT up reply actions  

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