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The Top 5 Ilya Bryzgalov Tweets

Why are Russians so good at Twitter?

We've already covered the genius that is Alex Ovechkin's Twitter account, but in recent weeks another player from that ice-bound nation has rocketed to the top of the hockey Twitter world: Ilya Bryzgalov.

Those of us who have known and loved Ilya since his time in California aren't surprised that he's a funny guy, but even his famous interviews couldn't prepare us for the comedy gold he is tweeting on a regular basis.

As with Ovechkin, the language barrier often makes it difficult to know if Bryzgalov is being serious or is intentionally joking with these tweets - and that ambiguity makes them all the funnier.

 

The Top Five Best Ilya Bryzgalov Tweets (so far)

 

#5 - Hi Guys

Bryztweet_1_medium

Ilya's first-ever tweet was a strong one, packing three exclamation points and making his own last name a hashtag. Everything becomes extra-charming when you realize that Ilya hasn't ever changed the default font, colors, or wallpaper for his Twitter account. Clearly he's far too busy looking at historical chairs to be bothered with all that. Speaking of which...

 

#4 - Betsy Ross Chair

Bryz_tweet_2_medium

Ilya's trip to the Betsy Ross House was one of the best things to ever happen in the history of the world. He tweeted repeatedly during his visit (shouldn't he have been paying attention?), and shared several pictures with us, including this one of "Betsy Ross chair."

Seriously, say this tweet out loud with Ilya's accent and try not to smile. "This is Betsy Ross chair." Now think about him out with his kids, getting out his iPhone and snapping a picture of this chair to send out to the world...it's magical.

Star-divide

#3 - The Amazing Dog

(for the non-Twitter savvy, remember to read the bottom tweet first)

Bryz_tweet_3_medium

I'm not sure what the deal is with the ")))" here. I think it's a Russian thing. He does it a lot, and it seems to indicate laughter or something.

Ilya was seriously blown away by this dog. If anyone ever needs to distract him during a playoff game they should just hold up a picture of a dog crossing the street and Bryzgalov will lose his mind.

 

#2 - High Hills

Bryz_tweet_4_medium

Bryzgalov has all sorts of adventures.

After Ilya retires, someone needs to give him a travel TV show where he goes around to famous historical places, takes pictures, and comments on stuff. I'm not joking - I would never miss an episode.

Rudy and I already did some brainstorming for "Bryz's Vacations" on Twitter:

This how Liberty Bell get crack America.

This Golden Gate bridge. Very nice must be expensive

Blanket Washington use Valley Forge


#1 - Brake Time

Bryz_tweet_5_medium

Never stop tweeting, you crazy Russian bastard.

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Comments

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An excellent summation of an excellent twitter legacy. Go get ’em, Bryz!

May have to do this with Bobkov at some point. I favorited one tweet that said (from memory): “How sic is this ape movie #awesome”. I really should have inserted one extra (sic) but I didn’t want to be redundant. :)

www.battleofcali.com

by Earl Sleek on Sep 9, 2011 6:05 AM PDT via mobile reply actions   1 recs

I would honestly love to see nothing more than a Lubomir Visnovsky twitter account. I am sure it would be nothing but a ball.

by Johngo Fett on Sep 9, 2011 7:36 AM PDT reply actions  

Literally just a picture of a ball. Or balls.

“We’re looking at balls.”

Owen Nolan saw my cat.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Sep 9, 2011 7:39 AM PDT up reply actions  

Are those balls?

because last time we were here, those were balls.

Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
If we all cared as much as Kent Huskins the world would be a better place.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn

by PNK on Sep 9, 2011 7:49 AM PDT up reply actions  

“#puckgoin #veryhappy”

Fight on!
EMAW!

by Shackleford on Sep 9, 2011 12:19 PM PDT up reply actions  

That is a pretty sweet chair.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Sep 9, 2011 8:19 AM PDT reply actions   1 recs

hahaha
hell ya, I’d sit all over that chair!

"There is no gravity son, the world just sucks." - my father.

by tu madre on Sep 10, 2011 9:15 AM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

why does that sound dirty?

Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
If we all cared as much as Kent Huskins the world would be a better place.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn

by PNK on Sep 10, 2011 10:42 AM PDT up reply actions  

I hope he tweets to a troll account “why you heff to be mad?”

Hell on Ice/In Lou We Trust/Twitter
That's it. I'm sending you to El Paso to live with your real parents.

by Kevin Sellathamby on Sep 9, 2011 9:05 AM PDT reply actions  

aww, bryz rocks :)

i find the expression of the girl in the first pic highly hilarous… she looks bit of shocked/horrified

Мы в любовь играли,
И как кровь из вены капает слеза.

WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP BABY!!!!

by sleza on Sep 9, 2011 9:13 AM PDT reply actions  

oh, and i forgot this
Why are Russians so good at Twitter?


;)

Мы в любовь играли,
И как кровь из вены капает слеза.

WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP BABY!!!!

by sleza on Sep 9, 2011 9:23 AM PDT reply actions  

Cuba disagrees.

Free Oscar Moeller

by DodgerBlueBalls on Sep 9, 2011 1:08 PM PDT up reply actions  

Looks like he really would have been bummed about no parks in Winnipeg.

by Chomp On This on Sep 9, 2011 9:50 AM PDT reply actions  

Yes “))))))” it’s for laughter. Must be a Russian thing because my cousin does it all the time. Maybe you can’t see the smily’s eyes because of the Russian fur hat? Iono….

The one about the Park was hilarious.

by ScottyKnows on Sep 9, 2011 11:13 AM PDT reply actions   1 recs

Is there a correct number of “)” that needs to be there?

Is )) a ha; ))) a haha, )))) a rofl; and a )))))) a roflmao?

Let's go Ducks.

by deb d on Sep 9, 2011 1:07 PM PDT up reply actions  

I thought it was a lot of chins or something

"Playin hurt, baby that don't faze me. I don't got time for pain. The only pain I've got time for is the pain I put on fools who don't know what time it is!"

by Semi_Colon on Sep 10, 2011 9:42 AM PDT up reply actions  

They released the duckie rookie camp roster. I so want Igor Bobkov to make the club for his name alone.

Is it I*gor or Ee*gor? Does he have a hump? and Bobkov is just funny to say. I love this guy already and haven’t even seen him play or a picture of him.

Let's go Ducks.

by deb d on Sep 9, 2011 1:03 PM PDT reply actions  

His nickname should be “The Maestro.”

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Sep 9, 2011 1:12 PM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

LOL i get it, Bob Cobb, Seinfeld. How many commenter rating points does that earn me?

by Khaaz on Sep 9, 2011 3:33 PM PDT up reply actions  

You earned a lot of points! Unfortunately, you lost them all because you said, “LOL.”

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Sep 9, 2011 3:49 PM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

It was kind of ironic though! Like, “Haha yay i get it do i win a prize!”

by Khaaz on Sep 9, 2011 6:04 PM PDT up reply actions  

My grandfather invented the Cobb salad.

Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
If we all cared as much as Kent Huskins the world would be a better place.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn

by PNK on Sep 9, 2011 3:57 PM PDT up reply actions  

He was Russia’s goalie at the WJC. I think he got replaced after a poor start but did finish the tourney vs Canada. He’s alright I guess. I don’t get too excited about prospects since there’s no telling where they’ll be in a few years.

by ScottyKnows on Sep 9, 2011 1:24 PM PDT up reply actions  

This is not about a prospect, it is about a name. duckies need more fun names on the team.

Let's go Ducks.

by deb d on Sep 9, 2011 1:31 PM PDT up reply actions  

That’s just some top notch Twitter game there. Consider him followed.

Status quo.

by nyynygnjd on Sep 9, 2011 1:27 PM PDT reply actions  

im off to vegas….gonna put 5k down the sharks get bounced out of the playoffs in round 1….easy money!!!

i miss bryz…

"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Sep 9, 2011 4:32 PM PDT reply actions  

Winner winner, chicken dinner.

by ScottyKnows on Sep 9, 2011 4:56 PM PDT up reply actions  

the guys at the wheel usually say that…its why i dont go to the wheel…that and the wheel sux

craps and 3 card

"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Sep 9, 2011 5:10 PM PDT up reply actions  

per corey perry-puckdaddy interview

It’s so realistic. To play the game as myself, it shows everything that I do on the ice. The new feature — the full contact physics engine — guys are bigger, pushing smaller guys around. Everybody doesn’t have the same strength. And if you skate by the goalie, you can clip his knee and he’ll fall down and you’ll have an open net.

haha

"A Chortled Evils Nip"
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Sep 9, 2011 4:37 PM PDT reply actions  

I wonder if Perry will be able to deliver repeated crosschecks to the back of Nabokov’s knees. (if Nabokov ever plays)

by ScottyKnows on Sep 9, 2011 4:55 PM PDT up reply actions  

are there any new features to better allow us to pummel perry to a putrid pulp as pavel datsyuk?

by meetyourmako on Sep 9, 2011 5:14 PM PDT up reply actions  

Maybe in the game Datsyuk can actually land a punch!

by kvd123 on Sep 10, 2011 6:33 AM PDT up reply actions  

In Soviet Russia... nah

Bryzgalov still stinks in the playoffs… Must be a Russian thing…

The more you drink, the less gruesome I look.
Writing and inciting at Barca Blaugranes
Troll @shadowking011

by Paul Udani on Sep 10, 2011 1:05 AM PDT reply actions  

because no north american has ever failed in playoffs?

Мы в любовь играли,
И как кровь из вены капает слеза.

WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP BABY!!!!

by sleza on Sep 10, 2011 4:46 AM PDT up reply actions  

For the Yotes maybe but he was pretty damn solid for the Ducks, with Philly’s defense he should do great…why u haff to be mad? Maybe if Pheonix didn’t ride him so hard for 70 games a season he’d have something left in the tank for a cup run, I think Philly will be smarter with him.

by kvd123 on Sep 10, 2011 6:39 AM PDT up reply actions  

They’re paying him 10 million next season. Even if he’s better rested, not sure that’s too smart.

www.battleofcali.com

by Earl Sleek on Sep 10, 2011 7:26 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions  

I was pissed about that series because I watched it and thought, “Cool, now everyone will finally notice that Keith Yandle sucks at defense,” but everyone just blamed Bryz.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Sep 10, 2011 7:36 AM PDT up reply actions  

To be fair, Bryzgalov fucking sucked in that series.

For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.

by Nut on Sep 10, 2011 5:29 PM PDT up reply actions  

I’m sure the Philly fans will be very patient with Bryz, and won’t bring up his salary if he’s not playing well. They really see the big picture.

Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon

by ievans on Sep 10, 2011 12:37 PM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

So’s Ehrhoff…I’d wager Ilya is worth it a bit more…

"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"

— Lubomir Visnovsky

I rec’d that shit.

by Steven Hida on Sep 11, 2011 12:39 PM PDT up reply actions  

God damn, last minute addition to this post!

From @bryzgoalie30 today:

Anyone no something about Crystal skulls, is it a real deal?

Is it real you guys? Cause I just bought like 20.

Owen Nolan saw my cat.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Sep 10, 2011 7:45 PM PDT reply actions   1 recs

I get the feeling this won’t be the last addition — is this about Indiana Jones?

www.battleofcali.com

by Earl Sleek on Sep 10, 2011 7:59 PM PDT up reply actions  

Well the thing in Indiana Jones is based on a real historical mystery/urban legend thing, so I suspect Ilya may have seen something on the History channel mentioning them.

He seems like the kind of guy who watches the History channel a lot.

Owen Nolan saw my cat.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Sep 10, 2011 8:09 PM PDT up reply actions  

Patty needs to get on Twitter. Imagine the awkward tweets?

Ssory Doc, I'm on the Twitters
Craig James killed five hookers who were prostitutes before death.

by 49er16 on Sep 11, 2011 12:39 PM PDT reply actions  

When Patrick Marleau says he’s on Twitter, he means he uses messenger pigeons. #poop

by meetyourmako on Sep 11, 2011 2:49 PM PDT up reply actions  

Another one to add to the hit parade:

by melindaloomis on Sep 23, 2011 4:19 PM PDT reply actions  

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