Sharks Gameday: Interview with Brent Burns and Owen Nolan!
by Megalodon on Jan 10, 2012 5:00 AM PST
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PrintAs regular readers know, Brent Burns and I go way back. He's one of my oldest and dearest friends. My relationship with Owen Nolan, however, has been a bit more rocky. You would think we would have an easy time bonding over our shared love of masturbation puns and our shared hatred of ducks, but for some reason the two of us have just never really hit it off. Since he was my favorite hockey player when I was a child, this didn't sit right with me. I've been looking for a way to set things right.
As luck would have it, Owen Nolan is very good friends with Brent Burns. Owen even sends Brent funny Internet pictures just like your mom used to before you made her stop. With Brent's help, I was able to arrange a sit-down interview with the two players over the past weekend. Enjoy!
Megalodon: Brent, Owen, thank you so much for agreeing to do this interview.
Brent Burns: No problem - I love interviews!
Owen Nolan: Do not call me Owen. Call me Mr. Nolan.
M: Oh, uh, I'm...I'm sorry. Mr. Nolan. I, uh, I have a few questions prepared for you two, if that's okay?
ON: Do whatever you have to do.
BB: Yeah, ask away!
M: Okay, great. First I - umm - Mr. Nolan? Are you...are you bleeding?
ON: *Looks down at blood-covered clothing* This is not my blood.
M: Oh. Okay. Good.
ON: *Begins sharpening a giant knife*
M: My first question for the two of you: what is the happiest memory you have from your time with the Sharks?
BB: That's easy! The day I worked at the San Francisco Zoo! That was the greatest!
M: Haha, yeah, that looked like fun. What about you, Mr. Nolan?
ON: The time I tried to murder Grant Marshall.
M: Oh...really? Some would see that as kind of a dark moment. You were suspended 11 games, after all.
ON: The only part of that incident I regret is that I failed to kill him. Someday I'll find him and finish the job.
BB: Oh Owen, you're such a crazy guy!
M: Moving on...Brent, you're known as a big-time animal lover. You mentioned your work at the San Francisco Zoo, but you also have a bit of a zoo of your own at home. You even have a tattoo of your pets and the word "Wild" on your back. Mr. Nolan, on the other hand, seems to spend the majority of his free time fishing, hunting, or running over animals with his Jeep. How do you feel about that, Brent?
BB: It makes me sad, to be honest. We don't talk about it a lot, because we always get in fights over the issue. I remember one time I invited Owen over to my house, and showed him my pet snakes...and he just wouldn't stop talking about how he wanted to hunt them! I mean, why would you hunt snakes? Snakes have never hurt anybody!
M: Mr. Nolan, care to respond?
ON: The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace.
M: Awesome.
ON: There is time for one more question. The hunt beckons.
M: Sure thing. I'll finish up with this: what are your thoughts about your time playing for the Minnesota Wild? Brent, I know that you've said some pretty rough things about them in the past - "I hope they lose every game," for example. Do you still feel the same way?
BB: Haha yeah, I hate those guys.
ON: Agreed.
Prediction: Owen Nolan is standing right behind you with a knife.
115 comments
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Owen Nolan is related to sleek…true story
Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jan 10, 2012 5:19 AM PST reply actions
swanson, slappy….samsonite, I was way off.
"There is no gravity son, the world just sucks." - my father.
by tu madre on Jan 10, 2012 7:53 AM PST via Android app up reply actions
Ha!
Brent’s wish is coming true :(
Being from Minnesota, it would be rude to put something clever here.
GO SHARKS!
How is it in your interview, you did not casually mention that today’s game is at 4:30? Not sure why I just noticed, but I did and I’m annoyed about that. Not that it’s at 4:30, but it took me this long to realize it is.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
I have no looks – so it would be the eyes in my case.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
You’ve met my niece? And yes, she’s cute. But I’m biased.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Last season I think. A ducks shark game with Earl, Spade and Meg.
"There is no gravity son, the world just sucks." - my father.
Ah yes … I wasn’t sure of all she had met. I think she’s met more of you guys than I have, and she doesn’t even hang out on BoC. :)
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Now you can wonder how well she…um…knows them.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jan 11, 2012 9:22 AM PST up reply actions
I know my niece. She would tell any perv to fuck off. :)
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
That’s no way to talk to your aunt.
by ScottyKnows on Jan 13, 2012 11:11 AM PST up reply actions 2 recs
It is getting more and more difficult to figure out the movie associated with your post.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
Check the tags.
www.battleofcali.com
by Earl Sleek on Jan 10, 2012 11:19 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
That’s what I meant! :)
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jan 10, 2012 11:21 AM PST up reply actions
I’ll do better in the future. I just really wanted to write this interview and couldn’t connect it to Vanilla Sky.
I guess Kurt Russel is interviewing Tom Cruise at one point.
President of the Brent Burns Robotic Sex-Pants Fan Club.
Battle of California
Vanilla Sky?! The only good part of that movie is when Tom Cruise is drunk and the camera closes in on his face and he says “meow”
For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.
You mean that part to which Rudy posted a clip link a couple hours ago?
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jan 10, 2012 1:47 PM PST up reply actions
Yeah there in lies the problem with replying to a comment before you reach the bottom of the thread.
For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.
Always a challenge. It was your brother’s, though, so I figured you’d at least read those first.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jan 10, 2012 2:44 PM PST up reply actions
Top to bottom. He gets no special treatment.
For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.
by Nut on Jan 10, 2012 2:58 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Because no team is running away with 1st place this year...
And because the Sharks have still played so few games, if they can keep things rolling they could find themselves atop the conference (or the league) as the season winds down.
I still think their offense is not nearly as lethal as it could be, but they are developing a puck possession game in the corners that many teams don’t seem to be able to stop.
Meg did say “rocky” in his post so I assume that is his movie today.
It’s The Zookeeper. :)
www.battleofcali.com
by Earl Sleek on Jan 10, 2012 11:27 AM PST up reply actions 2 recs
No, I’m pretty sure it was Old Dogs.
"You can't stop him, you can only hope to contain Kent Huskins!" - Randy Hahn 2/13/11
I'm on the tweets
by pooponastick on Jan 10, 2012 3:41 PM PST up reply actions
Sometimes I feel like Hollywood has been playing a gigantic practical joke on Tom Cruise for decades where they keep casting him as a clueless asshole, and he’s perfect for the part, and they all just laugh and laugh while he continues to not get it.
Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon
by ievans on Jan 10, 2012 11:47 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
eyes wide shut = perfect example
Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jan 10, 2012 12:06 PM PST up reply actions
Coincidence: the title of the Spanish original version of Vanilla Sky is “Open Your Eyes.”
President of the Brent Burns Robotic Sex-Pants Fan Club.
Battle of California
the previews were so bad couldnt bring myself to watch it..ill take your word for it…
Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jan 10, 2012 12:28 PM PST up reply actions
They can cast me as a clueless asshole for $15 million a movie all they want.
For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.
And all you gotta do is, act nat’rally…
by meetyourmako on Jan 10, 2012 2:22 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jan 10, 2012 2:25 PM PST up reply actions
I'm very pleased with this picture:
It looks just like me.
President of the Brent Burns Robotic Sex-Pants Fan Club.
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Jan 10, 2012 12:18 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
First Jaws, then Land Shark, now...........
Nerd Shark!
I'm warning you! I have ADHD and I know how to use it!!!
Good job Giants, now win 3 more world series titles and then you just might be worthy of being mentioned in the same league as the A's.
THAT IS NABOKOV IN NET NOT NITTYMAKISHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!
San Jose: Being Kept save from ferocious enemies by the Sharks and Earthquakes since 91 and 96.
by Diamondback15 on Jan 10, 2012 1:20 PM PST up reply actions
He doesn't hunt Sharks right? RIGHT?!
I'm warning you! I have ADHD and I know how to use it!!!
Good job Giants, now win 3 more world series titles and then you just might be worthy of being mentioned in the same league as the A's.
THAT IS NABOKOV IN NET NOT NITTYMAKISHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!
San Jose: Being Kept save from ferocious enemies by the Sharks and Earthquakes since 91 and 96.
Sigh, another movie I have never seen.
** Rule of Tree ** Pounding the Rock ** Battle of Cali ** Fear the Fin ** Athletics Nation ** Niners Nation **
Setoguchi is a healthy scratch.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
for disciplinary reasons. interesting.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Maybe he was too Wild.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jan 10, 2012 5:07 PM PST up reply actions 4 recs
Out late with the Sharks the night before. Haha! That’s awesomely unprofessional.
by meetyourmako on Jan 11, 2012 12:50 PM PST up reply actions
Whoops.
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
GOAL!
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Repeating myself from Twitter, because I'm funny:
Devin Setoguchi was probably held out of the Wild lineup for failing to regress to the mean along with the rest of the team.
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
Until you start tweeting about temperature conversions like Rudy, you’re an outlier.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jan 10, 2012 5:31 PM PST up reply actions
It’s being suggested he partied too much with Sharks pals and skipped a meeting. :)
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
I guess those Skylanders must be pretty fun.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jan 10, 2012 5:37 PM PST up reply actions 2 recs
Islanders just beat Detroit 5-1 with Nabby in net. I like that very much. :)
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
by Angy on Jan 10, 2012 6:26 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
Awesome.
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
I think they should change their name to the Skylanders.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jan 10, 2012 7:04 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
DAMN!!
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
This game sucks.
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
Hrmph.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jan 10, 2012 6:49 PM PST up reply actions
Okay maybe not we’ll see.
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
No, you were right.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jan 10, 2012 6:58 PM PST up reply actions
Yeah he was right. UGH!
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Meg … not sure I agree with you anymore. Sorry.
And I reserve the right to change my mind later.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
GOAL!
Okay boys! Let’s do this now.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
GOAL!
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
That was the most unenthusiastic goal call by Rusanowsky I’ve ever heard.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jan 10, 2012 7:08 PM PST up reply actions
OH FUCK YES!!
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Rusy did much better on that one.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jan 10, 2012 7:08 PM PST up reply actions
Wow.
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
Wow.
Just.. so… close…
"I've seen enough movies to know that popping the back of a raft makes it go faster!" - Troy Barnes, Community
Free Demers!
Let us pray.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jan 10, 2012 7:23 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
Shit.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jan 10, 2012 7:29 PM PST up reply actions
Well that was still pretty exciting.
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
Could’ve used Shawn Thornton in the shootout, though.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jan 10, 2012 7:35 PM PST up reply actions
You would.
*Am I doing that right?
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jan 10, 2012 8:31 PM PST up reply actions
Can we give Shawn Thornton his own TV show?
Shawn Thornton shuts down whiny Vancouver reporter.
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Jan 11, 2012 7:39 AM PST reply actions 1 recs
Only if he wears that outfit every time.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jan 11, 2012 9:13 AM PST up reply actions
How can you be hated when you have no toughness?
The most Canuck-ian thing ever said.
by RudyKelly on Jan 11, 2012 10:27 AM PST up reply actions 4 recs
“I don’t understand, we don’t go around fighting all the time, we just stick people after whistles and dive when they retaliate, why the hate?”
For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.
by Nut on Jan 11, 2012 10:51 AM PST up reply actions 7 recs
The Bruins – Canucks rivalry is the best NHL rivalry since Red Wings – Avs.
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
Canucks-Blackhawks is also really good.
Really fun playoff games between those two the last couple of years.
Ain't no party like Shawn Thornton's tea party
Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon
by ievans on Jan 11, 2012 11:04 AM PST up reply actions 2 recs
Again, reposting from Twitter:
Bored? Edit a pic of a hockey player to include Ghostbusters stuff. If it’s good I may include it in tomorrows gameday.
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
Ok
Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon
by ievans on Jan 11, 2012 12:08 PM PST up reply actions 4 recs
Excellent.
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
Did you actually make this?
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
Okay great it’s in tomorrow’s gameday.
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
Right before that photo was taken, Welly was heard to utter, “That’s a big Twinkie.”
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jan 11, 2012 6:46 PM PST up reply actions
That’s kind of a Megtoon, that thing there.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jan 11, 2012 12:57 PM PST up reply actions
Braun
I’ve watched so many Sharks games this year waiting for Braun to make a big play so I can say “oh that’s why the coaching staff loves this guy”, but that play never comes. He seems to hold his own sometimes, but I think he fucked up pretty bad last night. The NHL season is long and injury-laden, so I don’t mind playing our young D-men during the middle of the year, but come playoff time if he hasn’t made a quantum leap I would really prefer to see any of our other 7 D-men in there instead.
a quantum leap
It’s funny because in physics a “quantum leap” really refers to a very small change.
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
Nerd.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jan 11, 2012 5:08 PM PST up reply actions
DAMN you guys are all smarter than me! Well that’s why I like battleofcali, because I like to learn
by HaroldRamis on Jan 11, 2012 10:58 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
I love the way Demers plays, he’s got physicality, emotion, and some offensive skill sometimes too. I think if all 8 D-men were healthy in the playoffs Braun and Vandermeer would be my scratches.
by HaroldRamis on Jan 11, 2012 11:00 PM PST up reply actions
that’s why I like battleofcali, because I like to learn
New slogan!
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
wait?….why I havent I learned shit yet?
Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jan 12, 2012 4:58 AM PST up reply actions
You teach others. You’re a cautionary example.
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
He enjoys showing the ladies his “learning curve.”
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jan 12, 2012 10:20 AM PST up reply actions
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