Sharks Gameday: NHL Wines
Sometimes you don't really need these pointless pre-joke sentences.
Here's my report on a new series of wines inspired by NHL teams:
Anaheim Ducks wine: Strong notes of citrus. Makes you really dizzy.
Los Angeles Kings wine: I thought this was going to be good but I ended up sending it back. It was all corky.
San Jose Sharks wine: Starts off fresh and bold but ends on a bitter note.

Toronto Maple Leafs wine: Franzia boxed wine. Popular but awful.
Winnipeg Jets wine: Tastes like a bus. Frozen solid.
Pittsburgh Penguins wine: This wine would be really good if the grapes weren't always damaged.
Detroit Red Wings wine: Tastes like, and is, malt liquor.
Vancouver Canucks whine: "We're not even tough why do people hate us?"
Boston Bruins wine: Sold in a solid gold bottle, tastes like piss and glory, and is called "Hubris."
New York Islanders wine: I didn't get a chance to try this one because Rick DiPietro broke all the bottles.
Ottawa Senators wine: Voted "Best Wine in the World" by the Ottawa Senators Winemaker's Association.
Nashville Predators wine: Strong notes of country spices, fried chicken and gravy.
New Jersey Devils wine: It tastes pretty good I guess but it costs $1000 a bottle.
Dallas Stars wine: I hate this wine.
Minnesota Wild wine: For this wine they don't press the grapes, they just wait and allow them to regress to the mean.
Washington Capitals wine: The key flavor in this Russian wine falls flat. The result is disastrous.
Florida Panthers wine: The flavor is a strange mixture of cinnamon, asparagus, strawberries, and old car tires. Somehow, it tastes great.
Buffalo Sabres wine: This wine doesn't age well, and has gotten very bitter since its peak in 1999.
Montreal Canadiens wine: A distinctive mixture of citrus and sweet flavors with a strong aroma, this wine - I'm sorry, I won't get a chance to complete this joke. I've just been informed that I've been traded to Matchsticks and Gasoline.
Edmonton Oilers wine: Far too immature to be taken seriously.
Columbus Blue Jackets wine: Tastes like shit.
Prediction: You don't understand my plight.
Thanks for Rudy for help with this post. He is the Jack to my Miles.
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You missed Carolina
but it’s pretty easy.
Carolina Hurricanes wine: four out of five bottles out of this low-budget winery in an unfavored viticultural region taste awful. That fifth one, though, makes the purchase gamble totally worth it.
That Hokie freshman in the Greensboro Coliseum rafters didn't see any of this coming.
by JoshCVT on Jan 14, 2012 7:25 AM PST reply actions 2 recs
maybe few teams were left out for they couldn’t figure anything for them?
cuz that list is missing also lightning, rangers, flyers, flames, coyotes, blues…
Сколько дней, сколько слёз, сколько тревоги
Happy New Year! Hyvää uutta vuotta! С новым годом! Šťastný Nový Rok!
Coyotes Wine — Dirt-cheap, thanks to its primary ingredient: dirt.
www.battleofcali.com
by Earl Sleek on Jan 14, 2012 7:52 AM PST up reply actions 3 recs
Rangers wine- the bottle looks expensive, but the actual product isn’t as good. Also unavailable between April to June.
Flyers wine- 75% alcohol content, so you too can trade a dollar for 3 pennies like Paul Holmgren does.
Hell on Ice/In Lou We Trust/Twitter
Everyone has more goals than Scott Gomez
by Kevin Sellathamby on Jan 14, 2012 7:57 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
I really like Alexander Payne, because he’s so great about making the audience develop some pathos with characters that are fairly unlikable, in a realistic way, and then following them until their pathetic lives inevitably fall apart. But it’s funny.
It was really hilarious watching the wine industry basically just decide, fuck it, Sideways is about wine and it’s popular, so we’re going to use it for marketing, ignoring all the actual characters and events in the movie.
Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon
Yeah I like it cause it’s funny.
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Jan 14, 2012 11:26 AM PST via mobile up reply actions 1 recs
GO SHARKS!
Now I will need wine while watching the game later.
Altho I will miss the first period and hopefully only the first period. Seems I’m going to a 49ers playoff party. 11 hockey games today and I’ll be watching football. The things I do for friends. ugh!
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Well, you’ll only miss the first period at the pace of this 49er game. Better than nothing..
** Rule of Tree ** Pounding the Rock ** Battle of Cali ** Fear the Fin ** Athletics Nation ** Niners Nation **
I actually missed the 1st and 2nd period – but damn what a game! I’ve always been told that I have to be at next weekends playoff party.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
I know! Niners win, Sharks are up on top after two. Can’t complain too much right now.
** Rule of Tree ** Pounding the Rock ** Battle of Cali ** Fear the Fin ** Athletics Nation ** Niners Nation **
You’re thinking of the Ku Klux Likueur.
by meetyourmako on Jan 14, 2012 3:11 PM PST up reply actions
I wouldn’t say Sharks win ends on a bitter note. More like in the end you realize its more disappointing than you were previously willing to admit. And like Angy, I’m now craving wine.
BTW, what’s this about Nitty being upset about not getting playing time?
** Rule of Tree ** Pounding the Rock ** Battle of Cali ** Fear the Fin ** Athletics Nation ** Niners Nation **
He’s in a frustrating position and Pollack is pumping him for quotes. It’s nothing.
by meetyourmako on Jan 14, 2012 4:19 PM PST up reply actions
Looks like some Sutter Home, so even if he’s watching that, he’d only tell you about it privately. Not in the media.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jan 14, 2012 4:10 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Oh yeah...
Winnipeg Jets wine: Tastes like a bus. Sold in libraries. Frozen solid.
Just thought it might belong there.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
I might be the only person in the world, but his cage looks pretty good on him. Makes him more “animalistic.”
** Rule of Tree ** Pounding the Rock ** Battle of Cali ** Fear the Fin ** Athletics Nation ** Niners Nation **
I’m a fan of the cage.
Also, correction: the label is Clowe LaGreiss.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jan 14, 2012 5:56 PM PST up reply actions
Correction: Clowe LaFuckRickNash.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jan 14, 2012 6:05 PM PST up reply actions
Correction: Clowe Marleau.
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Jan 14, 2012 6:23 PM PST up reply actions
GOAL!!!
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Marleau!
** Rule of Tree ** Pounding the Rock ** Battle of Cali ** Fear the Fin ** Athletics Nation ** Niners Nation **
Something fun to check out.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
How did I know that that would start out with a Kane photo?
** Rule of Tree ** Pounding the Rock ** Battle of Cali ** Fear the Fin ** Athletics Nation ** Niners Nation **
And lol @ Ricci
** Rule of Tree ** Pounding the Rock ** Battle of Cali ** Fear the Fin ** Athletics Nation ** Niners Nation **
WIN!!
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Win!
** Rule of Tree ** Pounding the Rock ** Battle of Cali ** Fear the Fin ** Athletics Nation ** Niners Nation **
…And get your bone smooched. Sideways rules.
For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.
by Nut on Jan 14, 2012 10:31 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
Not hockey related but still a very exciting two minutes that happened today.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)

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