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10 Myths about Canada

Two Canadians engaged in a traditional Canadian courtship ritual.

Hey Sharks fans, I hope you like Canadian teams! Starting tonight San Jose plays its next five games against teams that hail from north of the Maple Curtain. This includes three games against bad teams (the Flames twice and the Oilers once) one game against a good team (Canucks) and one game against a bad team that has been playing like a good team (Senators).

After the wild success of my previous educational article about Canada, I decided that now would be a good time to provide some more general information about "the smallest big country in the world," Canada. I did some research on the Canadian version of about.com (aboot.com, obviously) and have assembled the following list. I hope you have fun and maybe learn something!

Top 10 Myths about Canada

Myth #1: Toronto is the Capital of Canada

In reality, Canada doesn't have a capital in the traditional sense. The seat of Canadian political power is a hunting shack deep in the wilds of Alberta, where the Prime Minister lives alone and rules with absolute authority. Every six years Canadians hold one of their "elections" (really just elaborate nation-wide "chuck-a-puck" competitions) and the winner is given a pack of supplies and the secret GPS coordinates of the Prime Minister's Shack.

Once the new Prime Minister arrives, of course, he must kill the now-deranged previous Prime Minister in order to take power. This is why Canada was ruled by a bear for much of the 1960s.

Myth #2: Canada is Always Cold

Temperature is relative, and in a land so frigid that "frozen blood" is one of the most common causes of death the word "cold" is meaningless. The Canadian climate ranges from "Siberian" in the southern-most regions during the height of the two-week summer to "hyperborean" over most of the rest of the nation throughout the year.

Star-divide

Myth #3: Canadians Speak French

The reason so many people believe this myth is that Canada contains within its borders an independent nation of French-speaking people, known as "Quebec." What's the story behind this bizarre enclave of poutine-eaters? It actually has to do with what is known as "continental drift." Years ago, North America and Europe were connected as one giant continent. During this period, France and Quebec were a single, monumentally-snooty nation. During the late 1800s, however, the continents split apart, the Atlantic ocean poured in, and today Quebec and France are separate nations, linked by bonds of language and cowardice.

Myth #4: Canada is So Safe People Don't Lock their Doors

This myth is actually rooted in fact: most Canadian doors don't have locks, but that's just because locks are useless against the giant man-eating beavers that kill thousands every year.

Myth #5: Canadians are Hippie Liberals

Yes, all Canadians do speak in a slow and funny manner - but this isn't because they are high. That's just how they talk.

Myth #6:You Will See Moose, Beavers, and other Wildlife in Canada

This is totally wrong. The plural of "moose" is "meese."

Myth #7: Canada is the 51st State

Unfortunately for Canada, this is not the case. Canada applied for statehood in 1958, but was rejected for being "of a nature not in keeping with traditional American values of freedom, equality, and warmness." The following year Alaska was admitted to the union, and relations between Canada and the U.S. have been strained ever since.

Myth #8: Mounties in Red Uniforms Police the Country

This is just silly. Do people really believe that Canadians could take a guy dressed like this:

Craig-mountie_medium

seriously as an authority figure? Mounties are actually more like state-sponsored clowns. If you are fortunate enough to encounter one while visiting Canada, make sure to greet them by throwing food and garbage. Trust me, they love it.

Myth #9: Canadians Don't Have Guns

Canadians have loads of guns. They just don't have any bullets.

Myth #10: All Canadians Say "Eh."

The Canadian habit of saying "Eh" is actually a nation-specific speech impediment similar to stuttering. All Canadians DO say it, but for the sake of politeness it's best not to draw attention to it. Canadians are notoriously easy to embarrass.

That's all for now, everybody. Please write to your representatives in Congress and ask them to support Battle of California with national education funding!



Prediction: Flames players are so overwhelmed by the majesty of California that they forget to show up for the game. Sharks win by default.

Bonus: Here's a clip from an awesome movie that doesn't get enough attention, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. It's not about Canada at all.

Comment 141 comments  |  8 recs  | 

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Comments

Display:

but that’s just because locks are useless against the giant man-eating beavers that kill thousands every year

wait? so they have giant women in canada?

Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jan 17, 2012 6:38 AM PST reply actions   1 recs

Canada’s women aren’t giant, just their beavers.

by meetyourmako on Jan 17, 2012 1:25 PM PST up reply actions  

no rec..smaller the better on that front..stay away from canadian women

Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jan 17, 2012 1:46 PM PST up reply actions  

That’s only in Quebec.

by ScottyKnows on Jan 17, 2012 1:54 PM PST up reply actions  

Mounties in Red Uniforms Police the Country

remember there “royal” mounties…regal…majestic….so they must be real and scary right?

Canadians are notoriously easy to embarrass

i disagree with this one….exhibit A Ryan Getzlaf

Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jan 17, 2012 6:40 AM PST reply actions  

What’s this all about eh?

"Playin hurt, baby that don't faze me. I don't got time for pain. The only pain I've got time for is the pain I put on fools who don't know what time it is!"

by Semi_Colon on Jan 17, 2012 7:07 AM PST via iPhone app reply actions  

How dare you leave the myth of us Canadians hunting moose 24/7 out!

Hell on Ice/In Lou We Trust/Twitter
Everyone has more goals than Scott Gomez

by Kevin Sellathamby on Jan 17, 2012 7:23 AM PST reply actions  

Awesome, you’re learning!

Moose/Meese is Rudy’s joke. Thanks Rudy.

"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Jan 17, 2012 7:27 AM PST up reply actions  

so rudy writes all your jokes..yet you get all the credit from the newbies……why hasnt rudy slain you yet?

Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jan 17, 2012 7:34 AM PST up reply actions  

You should know the answer by now. We’re a Fight Club-type situation.

"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Jan 17, 2012 7:44 AM PST up reply actions   1 recs

So which of one of you is real?

Hic sunt fortuna dracones
There is only 1 "n" in Hutchison

by JaysfanDL on Jan 17, 2012 11:11 AM PST up reply actions  

well i met both of them and brad pitt is the better looking dude who isnt real..so meg is real

Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jan 17, 2012 11:18 AM PST up reply actions  

Moose/Meese is Rudy’s joke.

It’s less a joke and more what I actually believe. I have letters out to Merriam-Webster right now, I should receive a response soon.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Jan 17, 2012 8:55 AM PST up reply actions  

I want them to change Geese to Gooses. ‘cause Gooses is more fun to say. Let’s switch the plural forms of Meese and Gooses.

Hail Poseidon!
http://5minutesformurder.blogspot.com

by 4Kills5 on Jan 17, 2012 9:01 AM PST up reply actions   1 recs

Hell yes.

"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Jan 17, 2012 9:02 AM PST up reply actions  

i also like to use meese to describe more than one mouse also

Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jan 17, 2012 9:15 AM PST up reply actions  

Mice, dipshit.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Jan 17, 2012 9:37 AM PST up reply actions  

Did you really just correct Spade? Of all the mistakes he makes, you actually found it worthwhile to correct him on one?? hahahahaha

GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)

by Angy on Jan 17, 2012 10:10 AM PST up reply actions  

fuck u i know that..i like meese…i think a looney toons character or a tom and jerry character used it…and I loved it and cherished it…..i thought it was great

Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jan 17, 2012 11:08 AM PST up reply actions  

It wasn’t Tom & Jerry, but a cheap Hanna-Barbera knock off instead…

"We will come with our guns blazing, and we just blazed." - Tim Leiweke

by DodgerBlueBalls on Jan 17, 2012 12:27 PM PST up reply actions  

thanks DBB for looking out….i was errr..in the same era at least

Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jan 17, 2012 12:28 PM PST up reply actions  

Giant man-eating beavers?

I think that’s why they have free healthcare too.

Leslie Knope: "...but it has a lot of heart."
April Ludgate: "That's what people always say when something sucks."
Fear The Fin's Fifth-String Moderator !!

by idunno723 on Jan 17, 2012 7:32 AM PST via mobile reply actions  

so muff diving is suicide i take it?

Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jan 17, 2012 7:35 AM PST up reply actions   1 recs

Close. It’s how someone came up with this, though.

It is that thing that I sent to you.

by whine_country on Jan 17, 2012 7:37 AM PST up reply actions  

I decided that now would be a good time

Read: I’m tired of my movie-per-gameday project.

Sad, because I thought Kiss Kiss Bang Bang was some sort of documentary aboot Winnipeg.

It is that thing that I sent to you.

by whine_country on Jan 17, 2012 7:35 AM PST reply actions  

Thursday’s gameday will be very movie-centered, I promise.

"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Jan 17, 2012 7:44 AM PST up reply actions  

But what good is that if the movie isn’t Real Steel? :)

It is that thing that I sent to you.

by whine_country on Jan 17, 2012 7:45 AM PST up reply actions  

I liked Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang

and this post.

Both amused me greatly.

Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
"Pavs with great feed but what a release by Wingels Peanut Butter Baby!"" - Jamie Baker

by PNK on Jan 17, 2012 8:23 AM PST reply actions  

Saw this on Puck Daddy, figured I would share

Bryzgalov, Pre-Universe Speech: 14-5-2, 2.74 GAA

Bryzgalov, Post-Universe Speech: 2-5-1, 3.97 GAA

Coincidence???

by Briceratops on Jan 17, 2012 9:36 AM PST reply actions  

Looks like he was pretty bad before 24/7, honestly.

"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Jan 17, 2012 9:38 AM PST up reply actions  

Traitor!

GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)

by Angy on Jan 17, 2012 10:23 AM PST up reply actions  

BOOOOO!!!!

GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)

by Angy on Jan 17, 2012 6:20 PM PST up reply actions  

So is Clowe traded or not? He wasn’t out on the ice this morning, no (skating) injury, and Elliotte Friedman is saying that Doug Wilson is ready to add depth to the team.

by RedOscar on Jan 17, 2012 11:06 AM PST reply actions  

Doesn’t seem like it, based on latest Twitter info. I certainly hope not.

"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Jan 17, 2012 11:09 AM PST up reply actions  

I gave in and joined Twitter last night. It is oddly addictive. Moreso than I thought it would be.

You were one of the first people I “followed”.

by RedOscar on Jan 17, 2012 11:14 AM PST up reply actions  

What? Don’t scare me like that.

GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)

by Angy on Jan 17, 2012 11:12 AM PST up reply actions  

hahahahaha

Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jan 17, 2012 12:17 PM PST up reply actions  

Don’t believe everything you read on the internet.

except the fact that Meese and Gooses are the proper plural forms of Moose and Goose respectively. That is true.

Hail Poseidon!
http://5minutesformurder.blogspot.com

by 4Kills5 on Jan 17, 2012 11:15 AM PST up reply actions  

and of mice!!…dont believe rudy!!…tom and jerry is never wrong!

Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jan 17, 2012 11:19 AM PST up reply actions   1 recs

I hate those meeses to pieces.

"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Jan 17, 2012 11:21 AM PST up reply actions  

i was told glue traps are more human….so i used one once…well the little bugger…ripped off his leg to get out of it….very humane

Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jan 17, 2012 11:23 AM PST up reply actions  

for the new people..i dont bother with corrections…the *humane….just figure it out

Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jan 17, 2012 11:24 AM PST up reply actions  

You’re a monster.

"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Jan 17, 2012 11:25 AM PST up reply actions   1 recs

im an animal like the next guy..(except earl)…i was gonna smash him with a rock..but he took off you know

Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jan 17, 2012 12:29 PM PST up reply actions  

oops lover…,,dooohhhh…im on today

Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jan 17, 2012 12:29 PM PST up reply actions  

Just so people are clear:

Wrong: Mooses. Correct: Meese
Wrong: Geese. Correct: Gooses
Wrong: mice. Correct: Meese

Anything else?

Hail Poseidon!
http://5minutesformurder.blogspot.com

by 4Kills5 on Jan 17, 2012 11:29 AM PST up reply actions  

You people are the best.

"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Jan 17, 2012 12:12 PM PST up reply actions  

Meg+Rudy+Earl<Spade

Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jan 17, 2012 12:19 PM PST up reply actions  

Spade can’t do math.

"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Jan 17, 2012 12:25 PM PST up reply actions  

but are meg they and earl sitting in a tree

k.I.s.s.I.n.g.

Sometimes you just have to look death in the face and say whatever man
Come check out the McC Book Club Start Date 1/21

Proud parent of Jeff Keppinger's better half

by operation carrot on Jan 17, 2012 12:26 PM PST via Android app up reply actions  

but are meg they and earl sitting in a tree

Yeah good point.

"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Jan 17, 2012 12:41 PM PST up reply actions  

You sure bit that carrot. Wait until you get the stick!

It is that thing that I sent to you.

by whine_country on Jan 17, 2012 12:46 PM PST up reply actions  

Canada?

“Hell, they’re whiter than we are…”

by HaroldRamis on Jan 17, 2012 12:56 PM PST reply actions  

If we build a bridge from Mexico to Canada, we could change that overnight.

GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)

by Angy on Jan 17, 2012 12:58 PM PST up reply actions  

Aww, I was gonna do that...


I was gonna call it the Spic-Span!

Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
"Pavs with great feed but what a release by Wingels Peanut Butter Baby!"" - Jamie Baker

by PNK on Jan 17, 2012 6:10 PM PST up reply actions  

Thus proving you really are a racist.

It is that thing that I sent to you.

by whine_country on Jan 17, 2012 6:38 PM PST up reply actions  

The 1st time this year I head over to Battle of California,

and I find this kind of racist crap here. Some how I am not shocked at all.

by docescobar07 on Jan 18, 2012 12:48 PM PST up reply actions  

Get out of here, snow-eater!

(for the purposes of this insult I am assuming you are from Winnipeg)

"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Jan 18, 2012 12:56 PM PST up reply actions  

From California.

If you know where strawberries and tri tip sandwiches are very popular you know where in California I am from.

by docescobar07 on Jan 18, 2012 9:10 PM PST up reply actions  

Oxnard is the Strawberry Capital of the World. And, as ievans pointed out, Santa Maria has the best Tri-tip (God bless Jocko’s Steakhouse ).

So I’m guessing you’re from Lompoc.

"We will come with our guns blazing, and we just blazed." - Tim Leiweke

by DodgerBlueBalls on Jan 19, 2012 9:40 AM PST up reply actions  

we specialize in shocking and lazyness…somtimes at the same time!

Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jan 18, 2012 1:13 PM PST up reply actions  

Canadians have loads of guns. They just don’t have any bullets.

I don’t know why I like this so much.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Jan 17, 2012 1:06 PM PST reply actions  

I don’t get why about.com listed this as a myth at all. Do people really think Canadians don’t have guns? They hunt all the time, don’t they?

"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Jan 17, 2012 1:09 PM PST up reply actions  

with hockey sticks!!!

Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jan 17, 2012 1:20 PM PST up reply actions  

Yeah, I assumed anybody with a farm would own a gun. Plus, some guy got shot in Mystery, Alaska and those are basically the same country, right? Canada’s like the 53rd state, after Hawaii and Alaska.

by meetyourmako on Jan 17, 2012 1:46 PM PST up reply actions  

Canada’s like the 53rd state, after Hawaii and Alaska.

Yeah I’ve always thought of Alaska as the 52nd state.

"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Jan 17, 2012 1:50 PM PST up reply actions  

mako was making a funny right?..or was he including guam and puerto rico?…

Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jan 17, 2012 1:53 PM PST up reply actions  

I thought mako was a chick? gooooooddddbyeeeeeee

by ScottyKnows on Jan 17, 2012 1:56 PM PST up reply actions  

They use bows and arrows

Plus bait their traps with Timbits.

Dinglebarnin' It JftC

by Niesy on Jan 17, 2012 6:57 PM PST up reply actions   1 recs

This post (and the Winnipeg facts that it led me to)...

is one of the best things I’ve ever read on the internet.

And that’s saying a lot.

"Though we do run the risk of one of the pucks generating human-like emotions, and yearning for a better life outside of its cold, violent existence…" -Ben

by ThrashersRecaps on Jan 17, 2012 7:18 PM PST reply actions   1 recs

Wooooooooooooo

"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Jan 17, 2012 7:22 PM PST up reply actions  

Randy’s the annoying one tonight for me.

by RedOscar on Jan 17, 2012 8:11 PM PST up reply actions   1 recs

I concur. Drew is bad.

"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Jan 18, 2012 6:29 AM PST up reply actions   1 recs

You don’t like to hear him get on his horse about making subjective calls reviewable because that’s what the owners want?

by meetyourmako on Jan 18, 2012 1:07 PM PST up reply actions  

This is amazing. It’s like you’re all finally realizing it.

If you imagine a salt shaker in your hand, tilt your head back
and act like you're shaking salt into your mouth; you will taste salt if you concentrate hard enough.

by brokenyard on Jan 18, 2012 2:01 PM PST up reply actions   1 recs

I don’t think any of us ever said he was good? I don’t mind Randy, but I’ve never cared for Drew.

"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Jan 18, 2012 2:05 PM PST up reply actions  

You’d appreciate Drew a lot more if you spent any amount of time watching or listening to Pete Stemkowski be the color guy. Oof. Or that Chris guy with the permed mullet, the former buttrock station morning DJ who ended up being the GM of the China Sharks (I know, right?).

Drew’s schtick is getting a bit tired, though.

Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon

by ievans on Jan 18, 2012 2:10 PM PST up reply actions  

Drew Remenda looks like Michael Rooker in Mallrats. Fuck him.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Jan 18, 2012 2:20 PM PST up reply actions  

That’s actually my favorite part about him. :)

www.battleofcali.com

by Earl Sleek on Jan 18, 2012 2:56 PM PST up reply actions  

(Remenda > Stemkowski) = Damning with very faint praise.

by meetyourmako on Jan 18, 2012 2:21 PM PST up reply actions  

Drew’s schtick is getting a bit tired, though.

It’s partly that he tries to be funny and fails, and also that he’s wrong about everything he gets worked up about. Remember when he got all butt-hurt on the air because skaters fist-bump/hi-five all the players on the bench after a goal?

by meetyourmako on Jan 18, 2012 2:25 PM PST up reply actions  

It’s the rants that are starting to grate on me most. I don’t ask for a lot from the color guy, and when Drew is able to break down plays without getting all hyper and frothy I’m fine with him. I don’t need (another) 3 minute coked out monologue about obvious mistakes.

The rule on being a color analyst is: you’re an expert, not a personality or a cheerleader or a prophet.

Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon

by ievans on Jan 18, 2012 2:47 PM PST up reply actions  

The rule on being a color analyst is: you’re an expert, not a personality or a cheerleader or a prophet.

That seems about right.

Looking back, Pete Stemkowski didn’t come off as any of those things.

by meetyourmako on Jan 18, 2012 2:50 PM PST up reply actions  

“The Sharks have to do something to get back into this game.” —Every Stemmer soundbyte ever

Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon

by ievans on Jan 18, 2012 3:58 PM PST up reply actions  

I regret that I have but one rec to give.

2011-2012 Lokomotiv Yaroslavl: Vyechnaya Pamyat!
2011-2012 Colorado Avalanche: Chances are rapidly diminishing that this will not suck.

by Hopfenkopf on Jan 17, 2012 8:07 PM PST reply actions  

lots of chances in this game, lots of shots hitting the posts

by RedOscar on Jan 17, 2012 8:42 PM PST reply actions  

well damn

GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)

by Angy on Jan 17, 2012 8:47 PM PST reply actions  

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Jan 17, 2012 8:50 PM PST reply actions  

What happened, I’m not watching.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Jan 17, 2012 8:50 PM PST up reply actions  

Oh go watch your own game!

GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)

by Angy on Jan 17, 2012 8:52 PM PST up reply actions  

HOLY SHIT! How that didn’t go in is beyond me but thank you whatever god wants to be thanked!

GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)

by Angy on Jan 17, 2012 8:59 PM PST reply actions  

Poseidon

Hail Poseidon!
http://5minutesformurder.blogspot.com

by 4Kills5 on Jan 18, 2012 10:09 AM PST up reply actions  

ha! blackout has started already … love it!!

GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)

by Angy on Jan 17, 2012 9:21 PM PST reply actions  

sharks have really mailed this one in so far

by HaroldRamis on Jan 17, 2012 9:30 PM PST reply actions  

GOAL!!!

GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)

by Angy on Jan 17, 2012 9:36 PM PST reply actions  

Holy shit, McGinn.

It is that thing that I sent to you.

by whine_country on Jan 17, 2012 9:53 PM PST reply actions  

GOAL!!!

GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)

by Angy on Jan 17, 2012 10:01 PM PST reply actions  

or not.

GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)

by Angy on Jan 17, 2012 10:01 PM PST up reply actions  

Nope.

It is that thing that I sent to you.

by whine_country on Jan 17, 2012 10:01 PM PST up reply actions  

Justin Braun! With the game-winner!

INTERFERENCE?

by RedOscar on Jan 17, 2012 10:01 PM PST reply actions  

Bad call!

GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)

by Angy on Jan 17, 2012 10:02 PM PST reply actions  

You guys were jobbed. What was up with that.

Dinglebarnin' It JftC

by Niesy on Jan 18, 2012 8:46 AM PST up reply actions  

Fucking bullllllllshit, that’s what.

"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Jan 18, 2012 9:28 AM PST up reply actions   1 recs

It’s funny because OT wins count in total wins (as a tiebreaker) but SO wins don’t.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Jan 18, 2012 9:59 AM PST up reply actions  

Our definition of funny differs.

GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)

by Angy on Jan 18, 2012 10:10 AM PST up reply actions  

Remember that blown call on Long Island that gave us a powerplay in overtime? We scored on that powerplay.

by meetyourmako on Jan 18, 2012 1:09 PM PST up reply actions  

Oh no! Never did. I’m not that cruel.

GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)

by Angy on Jan 18, 2012 4:13 PM PST up reply actions  

You should have posted the Photoshopped version where he’s playing the guitar. That’s funny.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Jan 19, 2012 9:25 AM PST up reply actions  

Love Handzus.

It is that thing that I sent to you.

by whine_country on Jan 17, 2012 10:10 PM PST reply actions   1 recs

WIN!!!

GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)

by Angy on Jan 17, 2012 10:10 PM PST reply actions  

Woooooooooooooo, Burns, haha that was sweet.

It is that thing that I sent to you.

by whine_country on Jan 17, 2012 10:11 PM PST reply actions  

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