Sharks Gameday: Hockey Nihilism
Hockey is full of statistics that are basically worthless when you examine them closely.
"Hits" are meaningless because the stat is so weakly defined and so open to interpretation. Teams frequently have vastly different hitting totals at home vs. away, which is a strong indication of biased or overenthusiastic hit-trackers at home. Without any sort of consistency the "hit" stat has no value at all.
One-goal wins are meaningless because they are no better than a coin-flip. Winning a game by one goal is essentially the same as losing that game.
A team's powerplay percentage is meaningless because it has little correlation with team success. The 2nd-worst team in the league (Edmonton) has the third-best powerplay, while one of the NHL's top teams (St. Louis) has the 26th-ranked powerplay.
Don't even get me started on the penalty kill.
+/- is meaningless because it is affected by so many contradictory and irrelevant factors. If you make an awful mistake but your goalie bails you out you don't get a minus. If you hop on the ice on a line-change one second before your team scores you get a plus. It's madness.
Assists are meaningless because they are so random and arbitrary. Secondary assists are among the most worthless things ever invented by man.
"Goalie wins" are meaningless because an individual goalie usually has so little effect on the final score of a game. Once you add in the strange things that can happen when goalies get pulled mid-game the whole statistic becomes laughably illogical.
Goals Against Average is meaningless because if a goalie plays behind a bad team they are going to see a great deal more shots per night than a goalie on a good team, and this will inevitably lead to a higher GAA over the long-run, so GAA tells you nothing about the quality of a goalie.
Shots are meaningless because the only thing that really matters is goals.
Goals are meaningless too.
Everything is nothing, including the consciousness of nothing.
Prediction: Sharks win 3-1, but it doesn't matter.
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GO SHARKS!
I don’t like this movie.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
You don’t like The Big Lebowski?
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
yea overrrated…ok ..ive never watched it…i probally should
Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jan 23, 2012 8:20 AM PST up reply actions
It is rated to low here
For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.
by Nut on Jan 23, 2012 3:30 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
It’s true, I never really cared for it.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Well that’s like… your opinion man!
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
"Pavs with great feed but what a release by Wingels Peanut Butter Baby!"" - Jamie Baker
by PNK on Jan 23, 2012 8:39 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
goalie wins are meaningless
Just look at Jimmy Howard
by logancouturesteeth on Jan 23, 2012 8:08 AM PST via iPhone app reply actions
What? No Game-Winning Goals?
That’s the stat this post was made for! :)
www.battleofcali.com
by Earl Sleek on Jan 23, 2012 8:14 AM PST reply actions 1 recs
Oddly enough that’s the only stat that matters.
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
League sources say as many as four teams — the Rangers, Sharks, Bruins and Wings — have all made inquiries into Selanne’s availability with the trade deadline just over a month away on Feb. 27
if true, can someone please tell Sharks GM to keep his hands off Selänne?
Сколько дней, сколько слёз, сколько тревоги
by sleza on Jan 23, 2012 8:37 AM PST reply actions 1 recs
We’ll give you Nitty for him. You took Steve Shields and Jeff Friesen last time, so Nitty is more than fair.
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
It’d be nice for Teemu — he really can’t play more than three rounds of playoffs anyways.
www.battleofcali.com
by Earl Sleek on Jan 23, 2012 8:49 AM PST up reply actions 2 recs
no, you can’t have him! :/
seriously though, I’d really like to see him end his career in Anaheim (because he’s forever a Duck). Though on the other hand he does deserve to win another SC…. but that eliminates the Sharks from this ;)
Detroit could be good fit, but I can’t imagine him wearing Wings jersey :/
Сколько дней, сколько слёз, сколько тревоги
BOOOOO!!!!!!
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
you already have #8, even though he’s not as awesome as selänne…
bruins is the only team where he definitely could wear 8, and in detroit he could probably get it from Abdelkader (and yes, this clearly matters…)
Сколько дней, сколько слёз, сколько тревоги
I’m not sure it’s a huge deal for Selanne, though — he let Ozolinsh keep #8 for a year when he returned to Anaheim.
www.battleofcali.com
my life would probably more shattered by that than his, yes… :)
Сколько дней, сколько слёз, сколько тревоги
He could wear 13 no problem. Except that’ll always be Jamie Baker’s number.
by meetyourmako on Jan 23, 2012 10:41 AM PST up reply actions
bruins is the only team where he definitely could wear 8
Whoa, whoa, whoa! You are either joking or that is a typo, right?
"We will come with our guns blazing, and we just blazed." - Tim Leiweke
by DodgerBlueBalls on Jan 23, 2012 10:56 AM PST up reply actions
Fuck Cam Neely
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
by Steven Hida on Jan 23, 2012 11:00 AM PST up reply actions
"We will come with our guns blazing, and we just blazed." - Tim Leiweke
by DodgerBlueBalls on Jan 23, 2012 11:03 AM PST up reply actions
I thought that was his number….
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
by Steven Hida on Jan 23, 2012 11:07 AM PST up reply actions
welcome to my world steven
Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jan 23, 2012 11:23 AM PST up reply actions
well excuse me, i didn’t check retired numbers. mostly because i don’t quite agree with that tradition, partly because i forgot the possibility that there might be other worthy #8s…
besides, as neely is north american and retired in 1996… totally out of my knowledge range
Сколько дней, сколько слёз, сколько тревоги
Cam Neely is a player you should get acquainted with. He was amazing. He scored 50 goals in 50 games on one leg. Had to retire early due to injuries.
He’s also case study #1 for why making a Cup win a requirement for greatness is bullshit.
Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon
by ievans on Jan 23, 2012 11:32 AM PST up reply actions 2 recs
All of the above is true.
Also, Sea Bass.

"We will come with our guns blazing, and we just blazed." - Tim Leiweke
by DodgerBlueBalls on Jan 23, 2012 11:42 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Also Mungo from Rescue Me
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
"Pavs with great feed but what a release by Wingels Peanut Butter Baby!"" - Jamie Baker
A few things:
1. Pavs is not glued to the number 8, he wore a different number for the Olympics.
2. Selanne is not better than Pavs RIGHT NOW, The Big Pavelski is capable of putting up Selanne’s numbers while being great as an all around player. So as of RIGHT NOW Pavs>Selanne.
3. Pavs is American America>Finland.
I'm warning you! I have ADHD and I know how to use it!!!
Good job Giants, now win 3 more world series titles and then you just might be worthy of being mentioned in the same league as the A's.
THAT IS NABOKOV IN NET NOT NITTYMAKISHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!
San Jose: Being Kept save from ferocious enemies by the Sharks and Earthquakes since 91 and 96.
by Diamondback15 on Jan 23, 2012 4:37 PM PST up reply actions
Uh oh.
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
The Big Pavelski is capable of putting up Selanne’s numbers
Teemu Selanne- 45 points
Joe Pavelski- 34 points
Pavs is American
…Tim?
Yeah, i had forgotten how much Pavs had tailed off after the beginning of the season.
But I will say this, Pavs scored 66 points in 74 games last season centering the third line, with McGinn, Mitchell, Wellwood, or whoever else he could find. My all around play arguement still stands.
The difference between me and Thomas though is that I am a liberal, so I secretly hate America. At least thats what FOX keeps telling me.
I just realized that my 3rd line arguement doesn’t work because “Plays for the Ducks” pretty much trumps all arguements.
I'm warning you! I have ADHD and I know how to use it!!!
Good job Giants, now win 3 more world series titles and then you just might be worthy of being mentioned in the same league as the A's.
THAT IS NABOKOV IN NET NOT NITTYMAKISHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!
San Jose: Being Kept save from ferocious enemies by the Sharks and Earthquakes since 91 and 96.
by Diamondback15 on Jan 23, 2012 5:08 PM PST up reply actions
Pavs scored 66 points in 74 games last season
Good point — Selanne only played in 73 games last season. 74 > 73.
(And scored 14 more points).
www.battleofcali.com
while centering the third line was the point.
Plus Pavs tailed off because he didn’t want to embarrass his teamates.
I'm warning you! I have ADHD and I know how to use it!!!
Good job Giants, now win 3 more world series titles and then you just might be worthy of being mentioned in the same league as the A's.
THAT IS NABOKOV IN NET NOT NITTYMAKISHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!
San Jose: Being Kept save from ferocious enemies by the Sharks and Earthquakes since 91 and 96.
by Diamondback15 on Jan 23, 2012 5:25 PM PST up reply actions
Give up.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
by Angy on Jan 23, 2012 5:28 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
I like Pavs a lot, but Teemu will be better than Joe until the day Selanne retires. His lost years here in San Jose were comparable to Pavelski’s typical years.
Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon
it doesn't matter, I'd rather trade for Nabby anyway.
I'm warning you! I have ADHD and I know how to use it!!!
Good job Giants, now win 3 more world series titles and then you just might be worthy of being mentioned in the same league as the A's.
THAT IS NABOKOV IN NET NOT NITTYMAKISHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!
San Jose: Being Kept save from ferocious enemies by the Sharks and Earthquakes since 91 and 96.
by Diamondback15 on Jan 23, 2012 5:27 PM PST up reply actions
I'm not a Niemi fan. I've hated his signing.
I'm warning you! I have ADHD and I know how to use it!!!
Good job Giants, now win 3 more world series titles and then you just might be worthy of being mentioned in the same league as the A's.
THAT IS NABOKOV IN NET NOT NITTYMAKISHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!
San Jose: Being Kept save from ferocious enemies by the Sharks and Earthquakes since 91 and 96.
by Diamondback15 on Jan 23, 2012 5:31 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
It’s long past due that you accept it.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Fuck acceptance!
I'm warning you! I have ADHD and I know how to use it!!!
Good job Giants, now win 3 more world series titles and then you just might be worthy of being mentioned in the same league as the A's.
THAT IS NABOKOV IN NET NOT NITTYMAKISHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!
San Jose: Being Kept save from ferocious enemies by the Sharks and Earthquakes since 91 and 96.
by Diamondback15 on Jan 23, 2012 5:37 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Really, its pointless to argue because Torrey Mitchell is far superior to both.
I'm warning you! I have ADHD and I know how to use it!!!
Good job Giants, now win 3 more world series titles and then you just might be worthy of being mentioned in the same league as the A's.
THAT IS NABOKOV IN NET NOT NITTYMAKISHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!
San Jose: Being Kept save from ferocious enemies by the Sharks and Earthquakes since 91 and 96.
by Diamondback15 on Jan 23, 2012 8:38 PM PST up reply actions
Sure, at murdering people.
All other skills are meaningless. Murder is the only currency in this mad world.
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Jan 23, 2012 8:49 PM PST up reply actions 2 recs
Why?
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Because he treats objects like women.
"We will come with our guns blazing, and we just blazed." - Tim Leiweke
by DodgerBlueBalls on Jan 23, 2012 10:56 AM PST up reply actions
Great, now I have to remember to click the header on this post if ever I decide to view this page at work again.
** Rule of Tree ** Pounding the Rock ** Battle of Cali ** Fear the Fin ** Athletics Nation ** Niners Nation **
I’m amazed BoC still passes the SFW rating at my company. :)
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
SOPA finds this as a copyright infringement.
I'm warning you! I have ADHD and I know how to use it!!!
Good job Giants, now win 3 more world series titles and then you just might be worthy of being mentioned in the same league as the A's.
THAT IS NABOKOV IN NET NOT NITTYMAKISHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!
San Jose: Being Kept save from ferocious enemies by the Sharks and Earthquakes since 91 and 96.
by Diamondback15 on Jan 23, 2012 5:09 PM PST up reply actions
One-goal wins are meaningless because they are no better than a coin-flip. Winning a game by one goal is essentially the same as losing that game.
This is dumb.
It’s all about Clear Victory Standings.
Also if you’re going to say that part of this article is dumb shouldn’t it be the part where I said goals don’t matter?
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
I just hope he’s trolling you and not taking something you wrote seriously.
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
by Steven Hida on Jan 23, 2012 11:00 AM PST up reply actions
Meg draws a lot of water in this town. You don’t draw shit, mako. Now we got a nice, quiet little blog community here, and I aim to keep it nice and quiet. So let me make something plain. I don’t like you sucking around, bothering our citizens, mako. I don’t like your jerk-off name. I don’t like your jerk-off face. I don’t like your jerk-off behavior, and I don’t like you, jerk-off. Do I make myself clear?
by RudyKelly on Jan 23, 2012 11:04 AM PST up reply actions 5 recs
I had to look it up to make sure you werent just being an asshole…lol
Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jan 23, 2012 12:14 PM PST up reply actions
He was to me the other day. It made me sad.
But then I got over it when my friend told me the Avs score. And all was right with the world again.
** Rule of Tree ** Pounding the Rock ** Battle of Cali ** Fear the Fin ** Athletics Nation ** Niners Nation **
i saw that….you did that to yourself….on that one
Blech, I’d take Parise before Crosby. Crosby’s got too much baggage.
oh my….id expect a tounge lashing too…..
i do admit drugs are fun oscar
Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jan 23, 2012 2:02 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
We can relate on that level, I guess.
** Rule of Tree ** Pounding the Rock ** Battle of Cali ** Fear the Fin ** Athletics Nation ** Niners Nation **
I actually had to check to make sure this quote was from The Big Lebowski and not the beginning of First Blood.
by meetyourmako on Jan 23, 2012 1:48 PM PST up reply actions
good call….
he drew first blood..not me!!
Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jan 23, 2012 2:03 PM PST up reply actions
GO SHARKS!
With our players being from all over the globe, wonder if they internally roll their eyes at having to always listen to O’Canada and the Star Spangled Banner during games.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
No, they associate the US national anthem with great weather.
I'm warning you! I have ADHD and I know how to use it!!!
Good job Giants, now win 3 more world series titles and then you just might be worthy of being mentioned in the same league as the A's.
THAT IS NABOKOV IN NET NOT NITTYMAKISHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!
San Jose: Being Kept save from ferocious enemies by the Sharks and Earthquakes since 91 and 96.
by Diamondback15 on Jan 23, 2012 7:50 PM PST up reply actions
We need more Poseidon

Bring us victory!
Hail Poseidon!
http://5minutesformurder.blogspot.com
by 4Kills5 on Jan 23, 2012 8:12 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
Oilers fans suck for boo’ing. That was a very uncool move.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Oh shut up. Sharks fans boo the Sharks powerplay all the time…
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
GOAL!!
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Finally!
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
My Fantasy Team is happy!!!
I'm warning you! I have ADHD and I know how to use it!!!
Good job Giants, now win 3 more world series titles and then you just might be worthy of being mentioned in the same league as the A's.
THAT IS NABOKOV IN NET NOT NITTYMAKISHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!
San Jose: Being Kept save from ferocious enemies by the Sharks and Earthquakes since 91 and 96.
If Brent Burns is hurt I’m probably just going to kill myself.
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
He’ll be fine. All Star week is right around the corner … plenty of rest time.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
He’ll have more time to hang out with you on twitter.
by meetyourmako on Jan 23, 2012 9:47 PM PST up reply actions
He’s just going to play with Skylanders in his sex pants.
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
Jesus. 43 shots, one goal.
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
Making goalies look good – Sharks excel at that.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
God fucking damn it.
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
I guess that’s the way the whole durned human comedy keeps perpetuatin’ itself.
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Jan 23, 2012 9:24 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Only one goal in all those shots....
And the Kings have 4 goals and the game isn’t even over…So Delicious.
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
I fuck you in the ass, I fuck you in the ass, I fuck you, I fuck you, I fuck you, I fuck…
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Jan 23, 2012 9:21 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
From Twitter:


I hope they use it.
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Jan 23, 2012 9:36 PM PST reply actions 3 recs
They should
Its pretty accurate…
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
::looks at ground and shakes head::
** Rule of Tree ** Pounding the Rock ** Battle of Cali ** Fear the Fin ** Athletics Nation ** Niners Nation **
Meh
Once Havlat and Clowe are back all will be fine.
by Briceratops on Jan 23, 2012 10:04 PM PST up reply actions
Till Havlat needs to get from the bench to the ice…..Then you’re fuck’d
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
by Steven Hida on Jan 23, 2012 10:23 PM PST up reply actions
If you stood in one goal on an empty rink and threw pucks down the ice at the other net how many do you think would go in, out of 43?
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
But that isn’t how hockey is played.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Should be. Then I could play.
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California

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