Photo of a Kings mite player - Jamie Sabau
Stream-of-consciousness account of a Kings-Flames game.
Location: Glacial Gardens
-They don't serve beer? What the fuck. Some bullshit about it being 6 AM. Uh, it doesn't count as morning if I never went to sleep, dickhead.
-Oh, so apparently yelling stupid asshole is inappropriate. Some Flames fan gave me shit but I told him to shut up and go back to his pre-algebra homework. He totally did! Pussy.
-The Flames score on a breakaway. Where were you on that one, goalie? Get your fucking fingers out of the net! GodDAMMIT.
-Hahahaha, #12 on the Flames fell down! Hahahaha oh my god that's so funny. Fuck you, 12! I hope you die!
-Hey why is that lady moving
-Oh shit, those kids are going to fight! FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT LIGHT 'EM UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP
-Nevermind, they just both fell down. Pussies.
-Wait, there are only 2 periods? The fuck is this shit? That's stu-
-Woooooooooooooooooooooo go Kings, mother fucker! Goal by some little shit on a sweet, Kopitar-esque move. Goalie had no chance because he sucks!
-Hahahahahaha holy shit is he crying? Oh my god he's crying! YES. I am a hero!
-Wait, what do you mean I have to leave? I'm a hockey fan! I have rights!
-ow my face
-i'm so depressed