Have We Considered Secession?

Texas inadvertently provides us with a possible lockout solution.

In keeping up with BOC’s new political theme (prior examples here, here, and here), I'd like to share with you a totally legit politically-inspired idea I had…

You’ve probably heard about a bunch of idiots in various red states submitting petitions on WhiteHouse.gov calling for secession. Unfortunately for these states, their education standards are pretty lousy or else they might be familiar with why secession can’t happen or what would happen if precedent in law was ignored and secession happened anyway.

Here’s an example of one of these petitions, from the great state of Texas:

The US continues to suffer economic difficulties stemming from the federal government's neglect to reform domestic and foreign spending. The citizens of the US suffer from blatant abuses of their rights such as the NDAA, the TSA, etc. Given that the state of Texas maintains a balanced budget and is the 15th largest economy in the world, it is practically feasible for Texas to withdraw from the union, and to do so would protect it's citizens' standard of living and re-secure their rights and liberties in accordance with the original ideas and beliefs of our founding fathers which are no longer being reflected by the federal government.

Misuse of "it’s" and poor understanding of the state’s budget aside, this particular petition has picked up well over the number of signatures required (25k) to trigger a response from the Obama administration. Of course, many of these signatures come from people outside of Texas who would be more than happy to kick the state out of the Union as opposed to Texas citizens demanding sovereignty, but it’s a cute effort nonetheless.

To get this back on track and within the scope of hockey, I propose we present the NHL with the following petition, as inspired by the great thinkers in Texas:

The US NHL continues to suffer economic difficulties stemming from the federal government's league’s neglect to reform domestic and foreign spending revenue sharing or whatever. The citizens of the US fans of the NHL suffer from blatant abuses of their rights such as the NDAA, the TSA, etc denial of hockey-related entertainment. Given that the state of Texas maintains a balanced budget and is the 15th largest economy in the world we want our fucking hockey back, it is practically feasible for Texas current NHL teams to withdraw from the union league, and to do so would protect it's citizens' hockey fans’ standard of living and re-secure their rights and liberties in accordance with the original ideas and beliefs of our founding fathers which are no longer being reflected by the federal government NHL.

Since we all know that every online petition that has ever been signed by anyone ever has gone on to be immediately honored always without a single exception, I don’t see how this will not work.

We will take our newly seceded teams and reform the National Hockey Association, which suspended operations in 1917.

Get ready for the return of hockey!

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Battle of California

You must be a member of Battle of California to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Battle of California. You should read them.

Join Battle of California

You must be a member of Battle of California to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Battle of California. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9355_tracker