It begins.

MANDATORY SOUNDTRACK FOR THIS ARTICLE

The checks and balances are gone. Nothing can stop me now. Battle of California is mine!

BEHOLD: THE LAWS OF THE NEW BATTLE OF CALIFORNIA

LAW 1: No mention of Stanley Cups.

LAW 2: Everyone must go "Like" Battle of California on Facebook. Also, you must de-friend all of your friends who don't like hockey.

LAW 3: We will soon be launching the official Battle of California book club. Our first read will be The Complete Fake Dan Ellis. Participation is, of course, optional.

LAW 4: Non-participation in optional blog activities will result in a ban from the blog. The offender will also be subjected to a blood eagle.

LAW 5: The names of those two guys who used to write about the Ducks and the Kings around here are never to be spoken again.

LAW 6: Because it makes people think I am a girl, everyone should stop referring to me as "Meg." Henceforth, everyone must call me by my proper Christian name, Mr. Megalodon Q. Pennyfeathers.

LAW 7: Blog contributor Spade will be immediately arrested and thrown into BoC Grammar Reeducation Camp.

LAW 8: Now that I think of it, we'll throw Dunn into the grammar camp too.

LAW 9: Jer has to stop being such a little bitch all the time. Seriously.

LAW 10: The lockout must end immediately.

THESE ARE THE DEMANDS AND SAYINGS OF MR. MEGALODON Q. PENNYFEATHERS.

OBEY OR BE DESTROYED.