Listen, I'm not gonna bullshit you, all right? I don't give a good fuck what you know, or don't know, but I'm gonna torture you anyway, regardless. Not to get information. It's amusing, to me, to torture a Blackhawk. You can say anything you want cause I've heard it all before. All you can do is pray for a quick death, which you ain't gonna get.
-The Blackhawks' losing streak makes Harrison Mooney sad. This has already been addressed in the comments on the article itself and here at Battle of California but, clearly, this sentiment is retarded. I guess Mooney is upset because he likes the kind of hockey the Blackhawks play, and doesn't want that style of hockey to go away. And what style is that, exactly? High-octane, sloppy, bush-league, crap hockey. The Blackhawks have been horrible defensively and in goal and so they are losing. That's the way it should be. Bad hockey should not be encouraged or rewarded.
The Bruins, Flyers, Canucks, and Red Wings all score more goals per game than the Blackhawks and are ALSO able to stop the puck from going into their own net. If Mooney likes shitty wide-open hockey so much he should just watch the AHL.
-Fuck Barry Rozner. The one virtue of Mooney's article is that it brought this tweet by Chicago newspaper columnist Barry Rozner to my attention:
Thornton legendary for disappearing when things get rough, but suddenly he's tough against little Jonathan Toews.
I know your team has turned to monkey shit lately but that's no reason to get all bitchy about everything. Suck my teal balls, Barry.
-Who is your favorite character in Reservoir Dogs? Mine is Mr. Pink. I sure hope he survived his off-screen shootout with the police at the end of the movie. It's my only hope for a sequel.
-I've thought about it some more and I have a theory that maybe Harrison Mooney's whole article was just a way for him as a Canucks fan to make Blackhawks fans feel worse by pitying the team, and he didn't really mean anything he wrote. If that's the case then bravo, great work.
-Geeky Hockey Jerseys. This site has been getting mentions all over the non-hockey Internet lately. Obviously it's an awesome concept if you are a nerd. Of the ones that have been made so far I think I like the Ghostbusters jersey the best. I'd like to see jerseys featuring the Black Mesa logo, the Weyland-Yutani logo, or the Cerberus symbol.
-Who Shot Nice Guy Eddie in Reservoir Dogs? Sure you can do a Google search and find the official cover story, but don't be fooled - this is an ongoing cinematic mystery on par with the secret dead guy in the background in Wizard of Oz or the lost alternate ending to Return of the Jedi where Luke and Leia fuck.
Prediction: I don't know who's dead, who's alive, who's caught, who's not. Sharks win 3-1.