Sharks Gameday: Plastics

It's like I was playing some kind of game, but the rules don't make any sense to me. They're being made up by all the wrong people. I mean no one makes them up. They seem to make themselves up.

Mr. Braddock: What is it, Ben?
Benjamin : I'm just...
Mr. Braddock : Worried?
Benjamin : Well...
Mr. Braddock : About what?
Benjamin : I guess about my future.
Mr. Braddock : What about it?
Benjamin : I don't know... I want it to be...
Mr. Braddock : To be what?
Benjamin : ...Different.

So the Sharks didn't end the Red Wings' streak after all.

San Jose lost to Detroit by one goal, to give the Sharks three one-goal losses in a row. It certainly feels like things have been going poorly for the Sharks lately. Are there any positives?

Here are the Clear Victory Standings, courtesy of a blog that knows a lot about lousy hockey, Copper and Blue:

1. Detroit Red Wings (24-7, .774)

2. Vancouver Canucks (20-7, .741)

3. San Jose Sharks (15-6, .714)

4. St. Louis Blues (15-6, .714)

5. Chicago Blackhawks (18-14, .563)

6. Los Angeles Kings (10-9, .526)

Mr. Braddock: Ben, this whole idea sounds pretty half-baked.
: Oh, it's not. It's completely baked.

Okay, well...that still looks pretty great. The Sharks continue to have an impressive record in the Clear Victory games that are the best indication of how good a team really is.

Why doesn't this feel as comforting as it did earlier in the season?

Pacific Standings

San Jose 57 31 19 7 69
Phoenix 59 29 21 9 67
Los Angeles 59 27 21 11 65
Dallas 59 29 26 4 62
Anaheim 59 25 24 10 60

(updated 2.20.2012 at 7:15 PM PST)

Ah, yes, of course. That explains why I don't feel better about the Sharks' Clear Victories: because in terms of actual standings points they're now only two ahead of the Coyotes for first in the division. Sure the Sharks have two games in hand on all the other teams in the Pacific, but the way things have been going recently it's hard to hold off a nagging feeling that the Sharks will blow those two games in hand as one-goal losses.

Oh yeah, and two of the team's best defensemen and their fourth-best forward are all hurt.

Son of a bitch.

Benjamin: If you don't mind my saying so, this conversation is getting a little strange.

Okay, sorry.

Let's try to stay positive. Here are three things to be happy about, Sharks-wise:

#1 Brent Burns went to the zoo and hung out with a penguin named "Jackass."

#2 Marc-Edouard Vlasic is apparently a bad-ass:

"I’m not a big fan of medication. I took vicodin yesterday and didn’t like it. I’d rather deal with the pain," he said. "I don’t like being hazy and weak and all that. I’d rather just get some rest and deal with the pain than feel like crap."

As for the stitches, three was the number needed just to the left of his nose near his lip.

"It’s just three stitches, that’s it," Vlasic said. "Doc told me that’s all I needed. I was a little disappointed. Three? It’s nothing."

#3 Brent Burns went to the zoo and hung out with a penguin named "Jackass."

Oh heck, did I already use that one? My bad. It does make me really happy though.

Take two:

#3 Logan Couture is amazing.

G A P +/- PIM
2011 - Logan Couture 25 24 49 7 12

Here are some players, chosen completely at random, that don't have as many points as Couture this season:

Justin Williams

Corey Perry

Mike Richards

Ryan Getzlaf

Dustin Brown

Bobby Ryan

Alex Ovechkin

Sidney Crosby


I guess everything might work out after all.

Mr. Braddock: Ben, what are you doing?
: Well, I would say that I'm just drifting. Here in the pool.
Mr. Braddock
: Why?
: Well, it's very comfortable just to drift here.
Mr. Braddock
: Have you thought about graduate school?
: No.
Mr. Braddock
: Would you mind telling me then what those four years of college were for? What was the point of all that hard work?
: You got me.

Prediction: Sharks win 4-3, because if they lose to the god damn Blue Jackets there is going to be big trouble.

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