Goddamn those shorts are cool. I've never seen shorts that so clearly say, "Hey bud, let's party!"

I want to hang out with Daniel Winnik. We'd crush some waves and then rob banks on the side and then save some princesses from some gnarly dudes before destroying this shitty redneck bar that was hassling us. Then we'd taste some brews and he'd be all, "Hey, check out that betty!" and I'd be all, "Tubular!" and he'd say, "'I'd like to drive her around in my Testa Rossa, if you know what I mean!," and I'd be like, "Hey, remember LA Gears?" and he'd be all, "Righteous!" and then we'd kiss.

It'd be awesome.

Oh yeah, the Kings. They suck! Fuck them. I bet they don't even one pair of Zubaz pants between all of them.

Prediction: The Kings don't play far out at all. ...Near in. That's how they play.