Kings Gameday: The Greatest Accomplishment Of My Life
by RudyKelly on Feb 7, 2012 5:00 AM PST
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Man oh man, this is pretty awesome. Hockey-Reference (which is fantastic) allows you to sponsor player pages, right? Well, I pinched a few pennies here and there and I was able to purchase a page. Not just any page, mind you; I purchased the page of the greatest, smartest, most pirate-y player of all time. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...
KELLY HRUDEY'S PLAYER PAGE!!!!
Yep, now this very website will stand alongside Kelly Hrudey for the rest of time until October 11th of this year, as a testament to his greatness and forti... wait, what the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK???
Dwayne Roloson? Better than Kelly Hrudey??? You gotta be Goddamn shitting me. That prehistoric fuck is the worst. Fuck it, new post:
Dwayne Roloson: History's Greatest Villain
-Slavery was Dwayne Roloson's idea.
-Dwayne Roloson shot James Garfield AND gave Jim Davis the idea of starting up Garfield.
-"Hey guys check out this awesome new pet mouse I just got!" -Dwayne Roloson, 1347
-He believes the moon is a hoax. Not the moon landing- the moon.
-He invented the atomic bomb, the first gun, and the pointy stick.
-Roloson was a part of the naming committee for the Trail of Tears, but his entry, "The trail of whiny babies who need to get over it," was shot down.
-Dwayne Roloson canceled Deadwood. It happened when he accidentally burned it down in 1899.
-Roloson gave Hammurabi the idea of "Eye for an eye," not because he believes in fairness but because he just really likes gougings.
-He always throws his mask off whenever he gets touched. (That's not a joke, he actually does that)
-"Hey guys I think she's in the attic." -Dwayne Roloson, 1944
-You know who killed the dinosaurs? A meteor, most likely. But Roloson was a real dick to them while they were around.
-They actually found El Dorado but Dwayne Roloson lost the map.
-"Hey guys you know who we should pardon? Barabbas." -Dwayne Roloson, 32 AD
-The Great Chicago Fire? Caused when Dwayne Roloson tried to fuck a cow. I think I read that once.
-Great Fire of Rome, Constantinople Fire of 1204, London Fire of 1666? All cow fuckings.
-Dwayne Roloson was a member of the National Assembly but got ousted because he wouldn't stop saying that they should abandon the guillotine in favor of just gouging out their eyes.
-"Hey guys you should start up a blog just for California hockey teams, that'll make you tons of money." -Dwayne Roloson, 2005
Prediction: Kings win, 5-1. After the game, the following conversation happens:
Roloson: You really didn't show up tonight, Vinny, you asshole.
Lecavalier: Asshole? I'm not the one who just got butt-fucked on national television, Dwayne!
St. Louis:
(Thanks, Meg.)
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-“Hey guys I think she’s in the attic.” -Dwayne Roloson, 1944
-“Hey guys you know who we should pardon? Barabbas.” -Dwayne Roloson, 32 AD
-“Hey guys you should start up a blog just for California hockey teams, that’ll make you tons of money.” -Dwayne Roloson, 2005
oh wow
Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Feb 7, 2012 5:11 AM PST reply actions
This one almost made me spit out my coffee
The Great Chicago Fire? Caused when Dwayne Roloson tried to fuck a cow. I think I read that once.
This was hilarious. Although I don’t get the Kelly Hrudey love.
Hic sunt fortuna dracones
There is only 1 "n" in Hutchison
This one almost made me spit out my coffee
Roloson loves to do that to people. He’s such an asshole.
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
You don't have to listen to him on Hockey Night in Canada, he's pretty bad as an analyst
I will admit he was a good goalie for his era. Those numbers look horrific now, but when I see old highlights, I remember how shitty the goalie equipment was and how bad teams played defence. I wonder how guys like Hrudey would look in today’s NHL.
Hic sunt fortuna dracones
There is only 1 "n" in Hutchison
I wonder how guys like Hrudey would look in today’s NHL.
See: Mason, Steve
"The beating hearts of other creatures are like needles in my brain. Only once I have silenced them all will I have peace." -Owen Nolan
Battle of California
I don’t know if he would make it in the NHL nowadays. Small, shortish reflex goalies died out in the ‘90s. If you’re short, you have to be stocky (Tim Thomas), or if you’re thin you have to be tall (Ryan Miller). And it’s hard to find a goalie now who’s less than 6 feet tall.
Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon
Goaltenders 6’0" or under (according to Yahoo!) currently on a roster. Bolded guys are under 30:
Hedberg, Nabokov, Thomas, Enroth, Theodore, Vokoun, Mason, Sanford, Conklin, Halak, Irving, Bachman, Bernier
Out of 60 some odd goalies. So, yeah, not that many. Halak is probably the best youngish one.
Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon
It’s funny because there aren’t that many but the ones that are there are generally pretty good: Thomas is probably the best goalie over the last 5 years, Vokoun’s not far behind, Halak is pretty great, Nabokov was solid, Bernier, Enroth & Irving are good prospects, etc. I imagine people are now funneling bigger guys into goaltending at the expense of the smaller guys when they’re mites and that is perpetuating this idea that every goalie must be 6’4".
See: small forwards from the mid-’90s until the post-lockout rules changes. If you made it past the AHL, you had to be awesome. Otherwise, you got shafted. Ray Whitney got routinely tossed to the curb, bouncing from bad team to bad team on tryouts.
I think reflex goalies in general are in disfavor right now, probably because you can’t really coach it. And the game has evolved. If you’re not disciplined about positioning, you won’t make it. Bigger bodies can block more of the net. JS Giguere absolutely dominated in his prime years by just blocking and smothering pucks, with barely a highlight-reel save (and an assist to the acres of leg pads he strapped on).
Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon
Yes, because the 93-94, and 94-95 Sharks were so bad.
And averaging 40-50 points in 60-70 games is terrible. And lord knows how bad the 04 Red Wings were. I mean, he only scored 71 points with the 99-00 Panthers. His small size clearly prevented he from being a good players before the lockout.
I'm warning you! I have ADHD and I know how to use it!!!
Good job Giants, now win 3 more world series titles and then you just might be worthy of being mentioned in the same league as the A's.
THAT IS NABOKOV IN NET NOT NITTYMAKISHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!
San Jose: Being Kept save from ferocious enemies by the Sharks and Earthquakes since 91 and 96.
by Diamondback15 on Feb 7, 2012 4:49 PM PST up reply actions
And Sergei Makarov was pretty terrible too.
And who can forget the worst player in Sharks history Igor Larionov.
Oh and Korolyuk, he was bad. Bob Errey…….do I need to go on?
I'm warning you! I have ADHD and I know how to use it!!!
Good job Giants, now win 3 more world series titles and then you just might be worthy of being mentioned in the same league as the A's.
THAT IS NABOKOV IN NET NOT NITTYMAKISHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!
San Jose: Being Kept save from ferocious enemies by the Sharks and Earthquakes since 91 and 96.
by Diamondback15 on Feb 7, 2012 4:56 PM PST up reply actions
Calm down. I’m saying that a player of Whitney’s obvious skill still got cast off a lot of bad teams, including the Sharks, almost entirely due to his size. There were some smaller players who excelled, but there were far more chances given to bigger forwards. Keith Primeau and Todd Bertuzzi (and Andrei Nazarov) were the kind of players teams drafted and gave ice time to, not Korolyuk or Whitney, because guys like Derrian Hatcher were going to murder the small guys.
Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon
and the pointy stick
haha! I’m so glad I read these posts at home. Easier to explain why I’m laughing to my boys over my co-workers.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Also, Sleek, do your civic duty and keep rating players until Hrudy comes up. I had to do that to get Hasek back into the top 5 (it was previously all habs)
OPERATION TANK IS A GO. It’s the only explanation for Mike Weber. He’s on a secret mission.
I’m just glad this didnt turn into another lover letter to Kelly Hrudey.
"Its not so much me as it is Roenick, hes good" - Vince Vaughn
"Its not so much Kontos as it is me, I'm good." - Angryjay93
Tampa Bay’s play-by-play guy, Rick Peckham, is doing national games now? Doesn’t he fucking suck?
by RudyKelly on Feb 7, 2012 12:14 PM PST reply actions 2 recs
At least it’s not Benninati
For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.
by Nut on Feb 7, 2012 1:32 PM PST up reply actions
He’s really fucking annoying, and I used to hate when he was on Versus.
For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.
by Nut on Feb 7, 2012 1:41 PM PST up reply actions
Emrick is always really excited to be watching hockey, that’s why I like him. Beninati obviously doesn’t give a shit and only took the job because ESPN already has Mike Tirico and they don’t need 2 boring assholes with horrible “excited” voices.
tirico is a waste of space…gimmie more chuckie gruden
Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Feb 7, 2012 2:35 PM PST up reply actions
gave Jim Davis the idea of starting up Garfield.
The Guillotine! The Guillotine!
by meetyourmako on Feb 7, 2012 1:02 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
Garfield Minus Garfield is kind of awesome, though.
Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon
by ievans on Feb 7, 2012 1:11 PM PST up reply actions 3 recs
Topical
From Sutter:
Other than my first year in San Jose, when we split Verny [Mike Vernon] and Kelly Hrudey, other than that I’ve always had a No. 1 goalie and a good hockey team
For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.
by Nut on Feb 7, 2012 1:40 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
Mother fucker…
Darryl Sutter: The 2nd Worst Person In The History Of The World
by RudyKelly on Feb 7, 2012 1:41 PM PST up reply actions 2 recs
the and the good hockey team really sells it john
Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Feb 7, 2012 2:36 PM PST up reply actions
Yep.
If you imagine a salt shaker in your hand, tilt your head back
and act like you're shaking salt into your mouth; you will taste salt if you concentrate hard enough.
by brokenyard on Feb 7, 2012 3:37 PM PST reply actions 2 recs
Dwayne Roloson just pulled the net off the moorings while the Kings had a solid forecheck going. I hate that fuck so much.
For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.
.....
I'm warning you! I have ADHD and I know how to use it!!!
Good job Giants, now win 3 more world series titles and then you just might be worthy of being mentioned in the same league as the A's.
THAT IS NABOKOV IN NET NOT NITTYMAKISHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!
San Jose: Being Kept save from ferocious enemies by the Sharks and Earthquakes since 91 and 96.
by Diamondback15 on Feb 7, 2012 5:44 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
Malkin just scored a joke of a shootout goal.
If you imagine a salt shaker in your hand, tilt your head back
and act like you're shaking salt into your mouth; you will taste salt if you concentrate hard enough.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcINAhXUjnQ
If you imagine a salt shaker in your hand, tilt your head back
and act like you're shaking salt into your mouth; you will taste salt if you concentrate hard enough.
I don’t know why those are allowed.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
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