"Oh hi Mark."
Trade deadline! February 27th!
The Roomors are everywhere!
After spending hours researching all the most authoritative inside sources, I've put together three possible trades the Sharks might make before the deadline. I won't include any trades that are obviously bogus, so you can trust that I believe all of these are realistic possibilities that would benefit both teams.
To Sharks: Jeff Carter
To Blue Jackets:
Why it works for the Blue Jackets: Once the team finally succeeds in killing Steve Mason, which is apparently what they are trying to do this year, they'll have another goalie they can start tormenting.
Why it works for the Sharks: The Sharks are searching for another top-six scorer, but this is a lean year in that regard so they'd be willing to settle for Carter. San Jose wouldn't really mind Carter's lengthy contract because after the 13-14 season the team will consist of only three guys. And, finally, sending Nitty to Columbus would be a nice reward for him after all his patience and good nature this season.
To Sharks: Jason Blake
Why it works for the Ducks: The Ducks get a new fan-favorite player that kind of sucks in Tommy Wingels and another goalie that may never fully recover from an injury. The Ducks like those kinds of guys.
Why it works for the Sharks: The Sharks would take away the Ducks' lucky charm, which would really piss off blogger Earl Sleek (I have it on good authority that the Sharks hate Earl).
To Sharks: Travis Moen
To Canadiens: Third-round pick in 2013.
Why it works for the Canadiens: You can never have too many third-round draft picks!
Why it works for the Sharks: It doesn't. Travis Moen sucks.
Prediction: The Sharks trade a draft-pick for Jarome Iginla between the first and second periods, and win 5-2.
To clarify: The Room is not my 32nd-favorite movie. Not even ironically. It was just too hard to connect Children of Men to a post about trade rumors.