Sharks Gameday: Mike Smith is Poor


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The "#MikeSmithisPoor" hashtag grew out of the rivalry that developed (in my mind) between crazy billionaire goalie Dan Ellis and the hobo-resembling Mike Smith while both played for the Tampa Bay Lightning.The two were engaged in a fierce battle for the starting job for much of the first half of the season (before grandpa Dwayne Roloson came in and ruined everybody's fun).

Since the whole joke about @FakeDanEllis was that he had imaginary rich-people problems, it only made sense that his rival, Mike Smith, would be very very poor - the worst possible quality a person could have, in Fake Dan's eyes.

Here are six of my favorite #MikeSmithisPoor tweets:

#1 - Stamps

All_star_medium

This one is even funnier if you imagine Mike Smith walking out to his mailbox in full goalie gear, starting to put his ballot in the mailbox, and then realizing he doesn't have a stamp for it. His shoulders slump and he walks slowly back in to his house/car.

#2 - Poor Man

Poor_man_medium

Mike Smith is so poor he breaks the laws of physics and logic.

#3 - Outhouse

Pee_indoors_medium

Mike Smith does have an outhouse but he doesn't like to use it because it's also his kitchen.

#4 - Soup

Soup_kitchen_medium

Look, but don't touch.

#5 - Playoffs

War_on_poverty_medium

Mike Smith played in the Eastern Conference finals. That was weird.

#6 - Nature

Bark_off_a_tree_medium

True story.

Prediction: Mike Smith is a really good goalie now, but the Sharks can get him off his game by dropping a handful of pennies on the ice near his crease. When he goes to pick them up San Jose can score three or four goals at least. Sharks win 3 or 4 to 2.

My 16th favorite movie is the 1982 version of The Thing. Here's a fun fact about that movie: The Thing featured a character named Mac and a character named Windows years before anyone knew about Macintosh or Microsoft.

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