Kings Gameday: Canucks Fans Are The Worst

Spooky! (Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)




Let's go ahead and pull back the veil a little bit, Kings fans; our counterparts, those who cheer for the Canucks, are terrible. We know this. They complain and whine and can't understand why people couldn't like a team that features Alex Burrows, Ryan Kesler, and Roberto Luongo.

And yet, the other day, even I was shocked at how horrible they are. I was reading Nucks Misconduct and I read the single most ridiculous sentence in the history of words. It will blow your mind, rendering you unable to type until 10 AM in the morning (which is why this post is a little late). Are you ready? I don't think you're ready. Well, whatever, I don't care about you. Look!

That's Stephen King — arguably the greatest novelist of all-time —

Are you goddamn kidding me? Stephen King??? He's not the greatest novelist of the airport newsstand. Stephen King is terrible. Every fucking story of his has himself in it, there's always some slow kid that has magical powers, and you run the risk of reading about a preteen gangbang at some point.

Plus, he thought The Shining sucked. What the hell is wrong with him? The only good thing he's ever done is Langoliers and that was only good because of Balky. Stephen King is so shitty that he made a movie with Morgan Freeman, Jason Lee, Tom Sizemore, Tom Jane, Damian Lewis, and Timothy Olyphant suck. How is that even possible? Fuck Stephen King.

Besides, we all know Michael Crichton is the greatest novelist of all-time.

Prediction: Oh what a surprise, the main character has an alcohol problem.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Battle of California

You must be a member of Battle of California to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Battle of California. You should read them.

Join Battle of California

You must be a member of Battle of California to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Battle of California. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9355_tracker