Canucks @ Kings Game 4 Recap - Fighting Fate

ANOTHER missed hold. Shocker. (Photo by Harry How/Getty Images)

Credit where credit's due; the Canucks took advantage of the gifts that were given to them. Though outmatched, they're still professional hockey players and if you give them a ton of advantages, they'll be able to bury it. I'm not trying to diminish the Canucks' victory tonight; I'm only trying to put it into the proper context.

Now, to the gifts that were given to the Canucks... I don't even know where to begin. The announcers and in-game entertainment seem like a good place to start. From Jim Hughson's homerish behavior* to the incessant cartoon designed to throw the Kings of their delicate rhythm to the officiating to the cosmos themselves; everyone had it in for the Kings tonight. And it made it tough. Really tough. Probably the most blatant example was Henrik Sedin's brutal elbow to the head of Dustin Brown that didn't even elicit a penalty, let alone the ejection that was clearly deserved. To think that a man who had just seen his brother suffer the effects of a concussion would so maliciously and brutally attack the star of this playoff series with such a vicious blow... it's unconscionable. If he doesn't hear from Brendan Shanahan I will be shocked. ...Actually, no I won't, because I'm sure Gary Bettman will pull strings to ensure his precious Canucks aren't properly punished. Sad but true.

*Honestly, isn't there some sort of liability that should come into play here? I'm not saying we should be able to sue announcers for saying things I don't like but... actually, that doesn't sound like a bad idea.

Of course, everyone just accused Dustin Brown of diving because that's the narrative that's been built up. Dustin Brown is constantly derided and mocked simply for the crime of being born with two left feet (seriously, it's weird) and it's unfair. Take this play for instance; everyone jumped on Dustin Brown for diving but you can clearly see the sliver of sunlight that got into his eye from a carelessly left open door. It's obvious to anyone with a brain but here we are. Or this play; looks like a dive, but did you know that the sight of the faceoff circle reminds Dustin of his deceased war hero grandfather? Who among us hasn't collapsed at the thought of a dead loved one?

But that's narratives for you; people get an unfair label attached to them and it follows them for absolutely no reason at all. No reason at all.

Oh well, onto the rest of the game. Obviously I'm disappointed. Who wouldn't be? It's especially disappointing when the premier team in the NHL doesn't get the respect it deserves. I'm sorry but the refs were flat out terrible tonight. Each team had 3 power plays tonight but I think we all know the Kings get hooked, held, or out and out assaulted at least 8 times a game. Is it possible that this game was one among many and the refs may have just missed a few or that, in fact, only 3 penalties were committed? In a word, no. The refs clearly seemed biased against the "uppity" Kings. The 2 linesmen and the 2 refs, guess where they were from? That's right: Canada. What a surprise. Dustin Brown was bloodied by the aforementioned assault: nothing. Jordan Nolan gets beat up and he gets a penalty. (Are either of these refs members of the KKK? Maybe we should check.) Dustin Brown was knocked down from behind on a breakaway and what does he get? One measly penalty shot. It was ridiculous! Clearly these refs are part of an international conspiracy to keep the Kings down and they should all be fired.

But I don't want to blame the refs. That would be whining and Lord knows I don't want to be a whiner! No, the fault really lies with the cosmos tonight. Watch the Canucks' 3rd goal closely. Notice anything funny to you? See how the puck pops up into the air and then, for seemingly no reason, turns and lands right on Henrik Sedin's stick. Unbelievable! And yet it happened. There's only one real explanation for this: the universe is performing some sort of Final Destination trick to keep the Kings from winning. It's a wonder they managed to win 3 games with the entire universe against them!

So, in conclusion, full credit to the Canucks. I'm glad they were able to get one win, although they needed the help of the referees, the cosmos, Trey Park, Jim Hughson, and the NHL to do it. Meanwhile, I'll be sad. It just sucks when this perfect hockey team, this amazing set of men who are literally incapable of doing wrong, is done in like this. It's so frustrating. I know the Kings can't win every game, even though they should, but to lose like this is just so... it's so...

*bursts into tears

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