BoC Gameday: Hypersleep

All right, sweethearts, you're a team and there's nothin' to worry about. We come here, and we gonna conquer, and we gonna kick some, is that understood? That's what we gonna do, sweethearts, we are going to go and get some. All right, people, on the ready line!

Next Game

We knew these final two games between the Sharks and the Kings were coming all season long, but who could have imagined they would mean so much?

As it currently stands, both teams have more than a 90% chance of making the playoffs, but 90 is not 100 (it's probably stuff like this that tricked that Stephen Hawking guy into thinking we were some sort of math blog). Even if the Dallas Stars continue the epic pants-pooping in which they have been engaged for the past couple of weeks, thus guaranteeing both the Sharks and the Kings a playoff spot, the division title and playoff positioning still depend on the outcome of these two games.

How did we get here? How did this journey of an entire season come down to these final two games? Let's take a look back at the Sharks' season month-by-month and find out (while at the same time recapping my favorite movies from #82 up to #3, which I have been featuring in my gameday posts all season long):

October: 6 wins, 5 losses.

The Sharks split games with the Coyotes, lost to the Blues, the Rangers, and the Ducks twice, and had a five-game win streak in which they beat the Red Wings and Bruins.The season started very slowly with a week off between the first two games as the Sharks returned from Europe. San Jose had games in hand on most other teams for much of the season because of this odd start.

(Oldboy, Finding Nemo, Cloverfield, Dawn of the Dead, In the Company of Men, Insomnia, Tombstone, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Schindler's List, Terminator 2, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure)

November: 7 wins, 4 losses.

The Sharks started to get rolling in November, beating the Penguins, Red Wings, and Stars along the way. They split games with the Kings and lost against the Canucks and Coyotes.

(X2: X-Men United, Dark City, Beauty and the Beast, This is Spinal Tap, Frailty, In Bruges, Star Wars, Aladdin, The Fellowship of the Ring, Old School, Rear Window)

December: 6 wins, 7 losses.

A mediocre month highlighted by a big win against the Lightning in the middle of a four game winning streak and ending with an exciting OT loss to the Canucks.

(Knocked Up, Alien, Hot Fuzz, Star Trek, Ocean's Eleven, Iron Man, 300, Dumb and Dumber, The Empire Strikes Back, Kill Bill vol. 2, Brick, The Game, Bram Stoker's Dracula)

January: 9 wins, 5 losses.

The Sharks opened the month with six wins with an overtime loss in the middle. They also lost to the Canucks, beat the Flames twice and beat the Blue Jackets 6-0 to end January.

(True Grit, Inglorious Basterds, Office Space, Vanilla Sky, Ghostbusters, Sideways, The Ring, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, The Silence of the Lambs, The Big Lebowski, Die Hard, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, The Two Towers)

February: 5 wins, 9 losses

This was the worst month of the season for the Sharks. The best team the Sharks beat in February was the Flyers, which hardly makes up for a 6-3 loss to the Blue Jackets.

(500 Days of Summer, Children of Men, Millions, Punch-Drunk Love, Reservoir Dogs, The Machinist, L.A. Confidential, Kill Bill vol. 1, The Graduate, Groundhog Day, Memento, Drive, There Will Be Blood, The Royal Tenenbaums)

March: 7 wins, 10 losses

Wins against Detroit and Boston, two more losses against the Ducks and winning one out of three against the Coyotes: not a great month, overall.

(Sunshine, American Psycho, Snatch, The Thing, Pulp Fiction, 28 Days Later, The Matrix, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Shaun of the Dead, The Prestige, O Brother, Where Art Thou?, No Country for Old Men, The Social Network, Jurassic Park, Se7en, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, The Dark Knight)

That brings us up to speed. We're here, we're queer, get used to it. Or something. The point is, it would be cool if the Sharks win both of these two games against the Kings and push Los Angeles down to eighth. I would say I would like it if the Sharks pushed LA out of the playoffs entirely but that would mean Dallas would get in, and fuck Dallas.

Huge game tonight. Huge.

Prediction: Huge! Sharks win 3-2.

My second-favorite movie is Aliens. Come back on Saturday to find out my number one! Or don't! I don't care! Fuck you!

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