-He cheers for the Devils

-He cheers for the Jets which is even worse

-His Yahoo! profile pic is the saddest attempt to look cool since I carried a money clip for about a week and a half

-Does he molest kids? Probably not, but can you really say for sure?

-Mike > Joel

-He doesn't curse in his stories, what a pussy

-Hey talk about your kid more, we're all very interested

-Sorry

-His last name is dumb and probably Polish

-He watches wrestling

-Seriously, ask him, he'll admit it and everything

-The eulogies he writes are terrible