To recap: before this season, I bet Donald, my hockey-ignorant coworker, that the New Jersey Devils would not win the Stanley Cup. He picked them because he "had a good feeling about Kovalchuk." I checked the Vegas odds, which at that time were about 27 to 1 against the Devils. I bumped it up to an even 30 -1 and we agreed. If the Devils won the Cup I would pay him 30 dollars. If they didn't he would pay me one dollar.
Well the Devils aren't going to win the Cup, so I need your help to decide the best use of the dollar I will win. I want to rub Donald's loss in his face. I want to extract the maximum fun for me/misery for Donald out of my dollar. I want to make the dollar so painful to think about that Donald never brings up the bet he ALMOST won ever again.
Here are some ideas Rudy and I have developed so far:
-Take the dollar and slowly tear it to pieces while never breaking eye contact or smiling.
-Make Donald eat it.
-Spend far more than 30 dollars to get the dollar framed and display it in our shared workplace.
-Change the dollar into 100 pennies. Throw the handful of pennies hard into Donald's face.
-Let the money ride. Double or nothing, the Devils won't win the Cup next year.
-Buy an apple and eat it very loudly right behind him.
-Donate the dollar to a charity he hates.
-Buy a piece of Lakers merchandise (the team he actually likes). Pee on it.
-Buy a tiny trophy for my desk.
-Write "DONALD WAS WRONG" on the bill and then spend it, sending evidence of his ignorance out into circulation.
-Use the dollar to pay for part of a gallon of milk, in an effort to push him over the edge into attempting the Gallon Challenge, which he says he's confident he could complete but still hasn't actually tried.
-Buy a roll of stickers teachers use on elementary school kids' papers. Cover his desk and computer with ones that say "Nice try!" or "Good effort!"
-Attempt to physically murder him with the dollar.
-Buy him a used copy of this book.
-Start a blog in the style of "One Red Paperclip" attempting to trade up from my dollar into hiring someone to fuck with him for an entire year.
Let me know your favorites or suggest other ideas in the comments. I may actually do one of these things.