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part 2...starts now!!

Ya know there's hockey everywhere in the world...its in the heart...on the ice and in da club...go ahead..its your burfday....paaaty likes its your burfday...imagine me with a hat at a quarter turn...

I just recently was at da club (thats me on the left)...scoping out hoes and tricks and candlesticks...and fuck man I had to call some penalties..heres what I saw:

2 minutes for Boarding!

-the creepy guy that that comes out of no where and dances behind and grinds the chic on the dance floor...

dude: is this cool?

chic:...walks away with girlfriend

2 minutes for Charging!

-charging and get all up on a new chic walking into the bar..or whos friends just went to the dance floor/bathroom

dude: hey betty just saw you come in

chic:...and?

2 minutes for holding the stick!

-trying to assist your buddy in picking up a chic

dude: what do you think of my boy right here?

chic: ummm...marleau awkwardness

2 minutes for Diving/embellishment!

dude: yea girl...im in medical school (wearing a fubu shirt)

2 minutes for Delay of game!

-when things are going well and you get a call u must take..like your grandma died or something..or she has to run out and instruct her friend how to get to the bar

2 mins for Elbowing

-this is a good penalty to take in case you need to finagle thru a crowded dance floor...but you elbow the wrong guy and u get knocked the fuck out "cross check to the face"..and the sympathy card i dont think works like in the movies..u look weak..no sex for you!

Dude 1: woops sorry bro my bad (cant people think of anything else to say when they bump into someone)

Dude 2: your done...your done face in grill

2 minutes for High-sticking!

-high-sticking in hockey is mostly accidental (unless your marty mcsorley) but damaging...ive done this:

spade: what happened to your baby daddy what a loser to leave you

girl: umm...he died...weeps

spade: oh snap

2 minutes for too many men!

-sausage fest...

2 minutes for illegal stick!

-you can call on a black guy..i mean seriously give us a chance bro..I watch too many pornos

2 minutes for Hooking!

-the drunk hot chic falling all over the place

chic: rubbing your shoulders...hey you want to buy me a drink?

dude: umm...lemme see I'm a little low on...

chic: forget it...walks to next guy...hey you...falls face first on floor

now I never take advantage of these type...ya know never ever...they could have rabies.!! But wait doesn't nonoxnyl 9 kill everything?...right?l right?...lets hope so

2 minutes for Spearing

-I saw it once in a mens bathroom...2 guys...ill just leave it at that

2 minutes for Interference!

-saving the best for last...the ole cock blocking...it comes from various people...could be her fat friend she doesn't want to leave alone...or your bud who see's you working...but tries to take over the conversation by one-upping your story..the bouncer who doesn't let you in....your mom you calls and tells you to come home or she wont keep paying your insurance and car payment....or the chics boyfriend whos there...I mean like what the fuck man share asshole!