I have a few questions for the newest guy on the blog to not be as popular as Earl.
Welcome to the newest recurring blog feature here at Battle of California: Circle of Jerks! Periodically throughout the season (as often as we can manage, considering our refractory periods) we three bloggers will conduct brief interviews with one another. Hopefully this will be entertaining and informative for all of you readers out there and, most importantly, will be an easy way to kill time on Fridays.
Let's begin. For this first Circle of Jerks I sent a few questions over to Earl Sleek Jr., the honorable Mr. Jared Dobias.
Question 1. Where in the standings do you think the Ducks will finish this season?
Jer: All of the predictions and power rankings for the season seem to agree that the Ducks will end right around the 11th spot in the west. I know predictions and power rankings are dumb, but if this were a normal 82 game season I'd probably agree with that ranking.
However, since this is fucking bizarro world where everything we know is wrong and no one knows what to expect out of a shortened season, I'll go out on a limb and say Anaheim somehow manages to back into a playoff spot, primarily due to the shortcomings, injuries, and follies of other teams. Not so much because the Ducks were able to overcome the odds, but because other teams, uh, undercome the odds.
Question 2. Who do you think will win the Stanley Cup?
Jer: My analysis shows that, typically, it has been the playoff team that was able to beat 4 other playoff teams in consecutive best-of-seven series that was generally the team that was able to obtain the Stanley Cup. We'll see if this trend holds true this season.
Question 3. What should we do to address gun violence in the U.S.?
Jer: Well this sounds like a hot-button political issue, and not too long ago I found out that the place to go in order to be informed on politics is the comments on articles on Puck Daddy. So I found this comment below on a Puck Daddy article where gun violence was involved, and I will use it to inform my views, because I must be some sort of idiot:
You see that, Meg? What happens if the Qovernment plans some Movement in 2020 and we don't have any Guns to defend ourselves? THEN WHAT? Of course, by Tommy's logic, I guess Kitchen Knives could be used to defend ourselves, since they're apparently just as effective as guns... but still! Only the Sick, Mental-disable would disagree with such contradictory logic.