Circle of Jerks: Jer on Dunn

Reach for it.

Look at this idiot.

For some reason, Meg decided it would be a nice idea if we all got to know each other a little better. So he insisted that we three bloggers interact and pretend that we care what anyone else has to say.

But since he didn't want to end up having to interact with Dunn himself, Meg assigned me to ask Dunn some questions. Below you'll see him struggle to put a few words together in order to form answers in response to my thought-provoking inquiries. I've also provided some commentary on his responses.

1. What do you think the Pacific Division rankings look like at the end of the regular season?

The standings are a combination of me being entirely biased, and entirely high. Obviously, the Kings will finish in first because they are awesome, and what sort of complete asshole blogger would I be if they weren't picked first? I do stand by the entirely disgusting probability the Stars will have a good season and finish second, simply because they always do well in the first half of the season, and there isn't enough time for them to blow it this year. The Coyotes will somehow win games because Dave Tippett is a magician. However, with the Kings being suddenly awesome and the Stars failing to crap out they only finish in third. The Sharks go fourth because if even one injury crops up, which it will in a compacted season like this, they have god awful depth and are sort of screwed. The Ducks are a great second half team, but unfortunately there is no second half of the season. Either that or this is the second half of the season already, and the Ducks and Stars are swapped.

What sort of "complete asshole blogger" would you be? No worse of a complete asshole blogger than you already are, Dunn. No worse than you already fucking are.

2. There were a lot of rumors about Jonathan Bernier asking to be traded earlier this off season. How much stock do you put in those rumors and what do you think his fate is in the near future?

Bernier probably did wanted to be traded because he knew there was a market for goalies. Teams were desperate enough to throw assets at others simply to have a decent young backup netminder with potentially large upside (see: Tampa, Lindback).

However, with Columbus and Toronto both set to tank and where they are counting on it for their future, Bernier and Lombardi both probably knew they would have trouble finding a good partner and getting a decent return. The fact Quick wasn't 100% back when there was supposed to be hockey ruined any hope of Bernier moving soon. He doesn't seem like an idiot and should accept that. Once the salary cap shrinks like my sack in cold water, Bernier's chances of moving next season are pretty damn good, provided Lombardi has someone else ready to play a handful of games. My guess would be to the Islanders. That's what happens when you demand trades.

Why is this dude always dipping his junk in cold water? What is wrong with him?

3. Crunchy peanut butter, or smooth peanut butter?

Smooth. It's better with prostitutes. Plus, chunky just reminds me of "Two Girls, One Cup".

Gross, bro. Creamy peanut butter is like eating toothpaste, all swishing around in your teeth and shit. That's gross and you're gross.

Thanks for nothing, Dunn.

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