Los Angeles Kings Gameday: Sweet Merciful Crap

Be very ashamed - Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports

The good ol' Kings of suckitude have returned




I haven't bothered to check, but my gut is telling me Simon Gagne is starting this game over Dustin Penner. The Kings are now 0-2 and are on pace to be as bad as the Lakers. If I was with the Dodgers I would be really worried given the high expectations and so far falling flat on the face behavior of their Los Angeles brethren. Unless of course the Kings (and Lakers) catch fire at the last minute and win it all - kind of like they did last year and like how the Galaxy did. Meanwhile, the stupid Giants won the World Series and 49ers are in the Super Bowl while the fucking Chargers refuse to abandon San Diego and just now fired Norv Turner. Okay, the Kings...

First period against the Avs was good, second was average, and the third was shitacular. The fourth line should see way more minutes. In fact, the Kings should be suiting up Brad Richardson and recalling Anthony Stewart. They're fourth line quality. In all seriousness, the Kings don't play Gagne because they want him in the top six only? Well, here's a novel concept: Play him in the top six and bump Penner to the third line (or lower if he is just gonna take a Carolina level of moronic offensive zone penalties) and wait for Dwight King to show up finally after burying all the dead bodies in his backyard.

The Oilers on the other hand got lit up like Snoopy's dog house from a Charlie Brown Christmas the other night by our good asshole neighbors. Naturally, I am pessimistic about the Kings' chances. Maybe it's the vodka talking, but this season already feels cheapened, even before the Kings looked like garbage 1/24th of the way through it. Fire Sutter! Trade Brown! Start Bernier! Move to Seattle! No poetry today, but instead I leave you all with a haiku:

Sweet merciful crap,

Can the Kings not suck huge balls?

Stewart would fix this.



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