San Jose Sharks Gameday: Fun with Google Search Suggestions

Colorado goalie Seymore Butts. - Jason O. Watson-US PRESSWIRE

Using Google to get a glimpse at the hockey questions people want answered.

Everyone knows how Google search suggestions work, right? You start to type something, and Google provides some of the most common searches that begin with that phrase. For example:

Are_the_sharks_medium

The answers to these questions are, in order: yes apparently, no they never were, and yes.

I tried out a few questions involving teams and players, to see what people are searching for regarding those topics. Here are some things I found:

Are_the_thrashers_medium

Signs point to yes.

Is_corey_perry_medium

Corey Perry isn't single. He's dating Katy Perry. She is also his sister.

Is_dany_heatley_medium

Yes, Dany Heatley is blind.

3683

Is_evander_kane_medium

Winnipeg fans have been doing some research to find out if they should hate Evander Kane or defend him for no good reason.

Is_patrick_kane_medium

He's not an alcoholic, he's a junkie.

Is_joe_the_rainmaker_medium

Okay this one isn't about hockey but I had to comment on it. It's about the movie "Looper" and so I guess this will be a spoiler if you haven't seen it, so skip on to the next one of these NOW, but what the fuck? Is Joe the Rainmaker? Is Joe Cid? Of course not you dumb bastards! Did you even watch the movie? Shit.

"You guys I was a little confused by the time travel in Looper but I'm pretty sure Joe was actually that prostitute he was having sex with!"

Is_mike_smith_medium

Mike Smith: a retarded jockey, married to his horse.

Is_ryan_getzlaf_medium

No, he's not balding; he just shaves his head like that to cut down on wind resistance.

20120321_tjg_al2_1003

Is_scott_gomez_medium

Or what about my friend Carlos Gomez, do you think Scott Gomez is related to him?

Is_winnipeg_medium

Is Winnipeg a nice place to live? In some ways, yes. For example: it's so cold there that when you get stabbed you're already pretty numb so it doesn't hurt that much.

You have to look on the bright side of life, folks.



The Sharks are the best. They're destroying teams even though facing serious handicaps in the form of missing defensemen and the existence of Michal Handzus and Douglas Murray (though to be fair Handzus had a pretty solid night and Murray is a very nice guy). It's great. May the current dominance of the Sharks endure for a thousand generations!

Prediction: Sharks win 3-1, with two goals from Avalanche-killer Joe Pavelski and one from Roenick-killer Patrick Marleau.

Today's book is The Raw Shark Texts. I already reviewed it on this very blog.

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