So a lot has happened lately. First off, the NHL is coming back just in time to piss me off. I had a whole slew of non-hockey middle American posts ready to go but nooooooooooooooo. And as we all know, I'm the most important factor here. I will be lobbying the owners to vote no on this new CBA just so you can all read about me trashing Texas and greeting my biggest fan. Yes, I have a fan. I guess you can say he even loves me a little bit. He's very sweet.

Anywho, I just got back to California after a three and half hour flight where I sat behind a toddler who screamed every time she made eye contact with me, and in front of a severely obese Indian man who was very concerned about his luggage where he got up every five minutes to check on it. I also sat next to a mentally retarded girl who was not only flying by herself, but also flying for the very first time. I swear to god, I am not making any of this up. Plus, the in flight movie was "The Words". That was seven degrees of shit sucking.

But after devouring some In-N-Out and about four white Russians, my spirits are lifted. Except for the fact that the hotel I stayed in at Oklahoma City had bed bugs. Fuck middle America. With a hockey stick. As for the "a lot" that has happened:

- My dad quit his job. Way to stick it to the man!

- My mom found her biological mother.

- My brother is apparently getting married. Dumb ass.

- My parents finally bought an ice cube tray. Hooray! Their ice has been gladly welcomed for my bountiful white Russians.

Fuck.