Los Angeles Kings Gameday: End of an Era

"Dude...It's Friday. We get extra applesauce on Fridays" - Eric Hartline-USA TODAY Sports

New Jersey's official senior citizen team faces the Kings




The New Jersey Devils have thirteen players over thirty years old. They have six players that are thirty-five or older. Martin Brodeur and Jaromir Jagr are older than time itself. People I didn't know that are old as hell: Marek Zidlicky is 36. Peter Harrold is 30. Stephen Gionta is 30. Bryce Salvador is 37. JerMeansWell is 30. Look at these old fucks.

Last-vegas-michael-douglas-morgan-freeman-robert-de-niro-kevin-kline_medium

They're old is what I'm saying. Meanwhile the Kings are young and not anywhere near as close to death as the Devils are. Patrick Elias missed time because he had a cold, which for the elderly is a huge risk. Renowned shitsucker, Ryane Clowe, missed time because he is going senile. Damian Brunner meanwhile was out due to some "nagging stuff". I can only assume it was Brodeur asking why he never called anymore and complaining about the nursing staff stealing from him. The Devils do have one guy that is younger. Former King, Andrei Loktionov! He can line up for faceoffs against Linden Vey, and try and play through the tears. Speaking of which...

Manchester! Tanner Pearson, tying goal. Tyler Toffoli, game winning goal. Linden Vey, assisting on both. Worried about that salary cap space in the future? Not any more. Those three kids are the wave of the future. Get the fuck with the times, grandma. Nobody cares about that boring old Anze Kopitar anymore. It's Monarch time! Barring of course that they get traded for Jarome Iginila. Martin Jones better get the start tonight since the Monarch kids are Jesus on Ice (coming to a town near you!).

Tres_medium

As for the Devils...they have fallen on hard times after reaching the Finals back in 2012. The year before they reached the Finals was pretty ugly too. So yeah, a game the Kings should win.

Prediction: The Kings don't win.

More from Battle of California:


Los Angeles Kings Gameday: My First Post
Ducks Gameday: Horrible Injuries
Sharks Gameday: SHARKFINN
Los Angeles Kings Gameday: Bullying
Ducks Gameday: Feedback

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Battle of California

You must be a member of Battle of California to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Battle of California. You should read them.

Join Battle of California

You must be a member of Battle of California to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Battle of California. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9355_tracker