You all know the deal by now, right? Stuff happened in hockey over the past week, people tried to be funny about it on Twitter, and there were about five jokes that were ACTUALLY funny. So here they are.
Here are the five funniest hockey-related tweets from the past week:
My uncle's idea of a funny joke at dinner. pic.twitter.com/d6LHNTh2EF— Ben Scrivens (@scrivens_30) October 29, 2013
Everybody bullies poor nerdy Scrivens.
hearing erik condra just fired a mini snickers two feet wide of a kid's open pillowcase— Chet Sellers (@chet_sellers) October 31, 2013
varlamov trying to beat someone for the second time in three days #allegedly— indian pilgrimbert (@twolinepass) November 1, 2013
I was waiting in glee/horror to see people begin to make jokes about Semyon Varlamov. Most weren't worth mentioning, but this was the best of the bunch.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. In this case, every one of those thousand words is "Duuuuhhhh..."
#1 -The Fake Dan Ellis Memorial Tweet of the Week!
Just an FYI. If Ray Emery ever decides to skate down the ice and try to fight me I'm getting the fuck out of dodge!!!— Strombone (@strombone1) November 2, 2013
An excellent plan and an excellent tweet.
Remember, if you see a funny hockey tweet during the week and think it deserves a place in the top five, send it to me @MegalodonBOC .
Finally, this week I'm going to introduce a new aspect of this Twitter feature. I recently became aware of the Twitter account NHL Humor. This account has over 74,000 followers (more than James Mirtle!) and, as far as I can tell, involves "humor" only in name.
Starting this week and continuing until the account blocks me, I'm going to do a quick overview of the "highlights" of the past week of NHL Humor tweets to let you know if any of them were actually funny. It's a feature I'm going to call:
Was NHL Humor funny this week?
Halloween is tomorrow, a day full of scare and horror. So either read a scary story or just look at the Buffalo Sabres record.— NHL Humor (@TheNHLHumor) October 30, 2013
Yes, Varlamov was arrested tonight. The NHL has one player arrested in a year. The NFL averages one a day.— NHL Humor (@TheNHLHumor) October 31, 2013
Hockey>Basketball: pic.twitter.com/BZCwVW4fZA— NHL Humor (@TheNHLHumor) November 2, 2013
No, NHL Humor was not funny this week. Better luck next week!