Kings Gameday: Kwanzaa!

Kwanzaa is a holiday for African robots I think - Futurama

Let's all learn about Kwanzaa

Yep, Kwanzaa! You thought Hanukkah had a cool sounding name? Well guess what, bub? Kwanzaa has a "Z" in it, thereby making it cooler. And it really is the coolest holiday. Don't believe me? Why not? You don't know anything about it probably. You just have to take my word for it now. Want to know what it's about? Man, it's black power. It was founded in the 60's, back when the "shit" was real. Hanukkah is a more traditional holiday, you say? Psh, that's code for "it's old". Time to get hip and with it. And Kwanzaa is still so indie! Estimates have it at about two million people Kwanzaaing each year. Do you know anyone who celebrates Kwanzaa? I sure don't, though that may be due to the fact I live in south Orange County.

Another great thing is you can celebrate it with Christmas, or Hanukkah, or Boxing Day, or whatever! Presents all over the place! More food! Countless days off work! It's not a ripoff of Hanukkah or anything either. Yeah it may be a week-long thing, involve candles, and features the history of an oppressed people, but Kwanzaa has got Maya Angelou! What? Hanukkah has the Beastie Boys and the Coen brothers? Damn...Well, they also got stuck with that ass-hat, Adam Sandler, so there's pros and cons.

As for what Kwanzaa is really all about...Uh, well you see it's...um...

You know what, that's not important right now. What is important is that the Kings and Kwanzaa are one in the same. The both start with a "K", and...Okay, that's about it. Coolio voiced Kwanzaabot in Futurama, does that count for anything? Remember Coolio? He was the guy who did "Gangsters Paradise"


Anyhow, Coolio is apparently Black Santa for Kwanzaa or something, and they talk about how great it is being part of the African culture and stuff. I don't know exactly. Again, I'm basing this mostly on an episode of Futurama so bear with me. According to Wikipedia, there are seven principles to Kwanzaa. Each one ties in with the Kings pretty clearly.

Imani

This means faith. Faith that those around you won't mess things up for you. So it's Kopitar. He sets up everything and then has to have faith that his teammates won't completely fuck up around him.

Umoja

This here means unity. Dustin Brown is the captain. Done and done.

Kuumba

Creativity to help out the community. Drew Doughty finds new and creative ways to carry the play up the ice single-handedly. End-toend rush up the ice, one-on-five? No big deal. He also swears a lot, which is verbal creativity.

Ujima

Community building and assistance and charity and teamwork and all that other stuff we like to talk about but not actually do. Mike Richards embodies Ujima because he is supposed to make the Kings better, but lately he's sort of been half-assing it.

Ujamaa

Ujamaa is all about cooperative economics. Money is important, and Dean Lombardi manages that so I don't know who else to talk about here. Keep up the good work Dean.

Nia

Purpose to be better! I think. The Kwanzaa site isn't very clear with this stuff either. Let's just say Matt Greene.

Kujichagulia

Self-determination, and I'm just going to apply this to everyone else. It's hockey. They're determined/Kujichagulia players. Okay, great. Kwanzaa!




After a rotten ending to the road trip in Chicago, the Kings came out and pretty much controlled the Edmonton Oilers. Which is what you want against a craptastic hockey team. Now they face a slightly more challenging opponent (slightly), with the San Jose Sharks, The Kings play down to their competition on a regular basis, and so there is cause for concern. It's already happened twice this season, so here's to hoping the Kings turn it around. Ah, who am I kidding? This is the Tomas Hertl/Martin Jones showdown.

Prediction: Jesse Jackson sues my ass.




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