Los Angeles Kings Gameday: Sweet Revenge

Pelvic thrusted into submission - Rick Osentoski-USA TODAY Sports

Kicking ass and getting ours licked


Detroit Red Wings
@ Los Angeles Kings

Wednesday, Feb 27, 2013, 7:00 PM PST
STAPLES Center

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Even my computer from 1996 works with buying tickets! Los Angeles Kings tickets.


So the Kings traded Simon Gagne for not much. They do have a lot of draft picks now and Gagne wasn't getting a lot of ice time (any for that matter) so here's to actually playing again, Gagne. Best of luck in Los Angeles East. Not to be confused with East Los Angeles where Simon Guzman recently relocated, and has had great success in Montebello.

Last time the Kings played against the Red Wings I answered some questions for J.J. over at Winging it in Motown because, hey, he's a good guy and he posts some pretty funny comments over here. We all know how this turned out, soooooooo... J.J. is a terrible person. I didn't answer any of his damn questions this time either. Well, actually he didn't ask me any questions this time. Probably because nobody read the last one. But that's his fault for thinking I could put together sentences correctly.

(Update: He sent questions. I answered them. I'm so sorry Kings. Or maybe you should just stop the fucking puck next time, Jonathan. The Q & A is here, and blah, blah, shameless self promotion, blah.)

Ever since I crashed the Red Wings blog with my girth the Kings have been on a tear. Colorado, who came back to win? Crushed. Edmonton, who tied and won it in OT? Curb stomped. Anaheim, who burned the Kings the first time? Dick slapped. Now they look for redemption against the team where it sort of all started, through a loss. After consulting with NHL 94 I have gone to overtime in three consecutive games against the Red Wings only to be thwarted by Steve Yzerman every single fucking time. There's been games where neither team scores. There's been games where it's been an offensive slugfest. Same results. After the 5-1 prediction with the Ducks with a 5-2 result, I'm a bit worried. Does this mean Pavel Datsyuk will light the Kings up (again)? Will the Red Wings come out swinging this time instead of getting bailed out by Jimmy Howard? Or do I just suck at NHL 94? Probably just that.

It will be hard to severely damper my mood, however. The Kings beat down of the Ducks resulted in my typical behavior of quiet celebration. With of course the slathering of obnoxious gloating and crotch thrusting in my rival's faces (have fun with my genital warts, Jer!). On the device called Facebook my gloating, pelvic thrusts, and warts got under the skin of one of my "friends" (I think I talked to this one guy a few times eight years ago) enough to where he directly messaged me saying I should check the standings and see who won a Cup first. Everyone knows statistics are for elitist liberal douche bags, but then things got a little off track...

I thought you were a Wings fan

What?

A Stanley Cup and being an annoying fan base equals Detroit? You know what Detroit, you're alright.

Prediction: Someone needs to stop Yzerman.

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