Burritos are an atheist's nightmare. When you look at a burrito, you'll notice that it is more long than wide. The burrito and the hand are perfectly made for one another. You'll find that the creator of the burrito, or almighty Burrito God, has made it with a nonstick covering. It often has indications of the contents: "Pollo" scrawled in a black Sharpie, or "Al Pastor", or sometimes just a "C" for carne asada.
When you open the covering, you'll find the contents don't squirt in your face. They're contained by a tortilla, which is biodegradable. Notice that it has a well at the top for adding salsa if you want, and is just the right size for the mouth. It's chewey, easy to digest...well maybe not that...but it WILL eventually digest, after a deep struggle. It's curved toward you, when you rotate it, if it's listing for some reason, which makes it so much easier. The whole of burrito creation testifies to the genius of Burrito God's design.
Here are the lucky ones receiving Burrito God's gift to humanity this week.
Edit: Muchos gracias to Mako for intelligently designing the Burrito of Victory trophy:
Vox Populi: the highest rated comment
It's a three-way tie this week, or a Holy Burrito Trinity. Amen.
Meg buries the saucer pass sent cross-ice by JJ:
> The orange wedge looks like a carrot
Well I can tell you for certain that none of the officials ate any carrots at all during the lockout.
Earl points out American Airline's Twitter self-loathing:
Hahaha, good work, American Airlines twitter robot!
Spade summons the devil to clown Nickelback:
De Profundis: the best of the rest
whine_country returns with thisth:
> His firsth NHL shutout!
Honorable mentions go to:
PNK for throwing a wicked sucker-punch:
> good thing Hell’s not real then
Anaheim is absolutely real!
And Angy for perfectly capturing modern sports fandom:
holy mother fuck! I’m trying to make this blanket and the Sharks are giving me a heart attack!
Sauna Erotica: the worst comment
Sorry, sleza, this isn't Tiger Beat XXX.
We have standards here, and this is a family-friendly site. Meg, Dunn, and Jar may have to re-register as sex-offenders for this. Enjoy the Euroburrito, though, which I hear are a lot more sophisticated.