Yesterday, the pope stepped down. Tonight will mark the Ducks' very first game in this new popeless world. I don't know how long we'll go without a pope (by my luck they'll have named a new one before this post even goes live), but to speed things along, I'll outline my recommendation for next new pope below.
Now, I'm not catholic, so there's probably a whole list of rules and prerequisites for who can and can not be pope. But I imagine that, with the catholic church having a direct line to God and all that, they're able to get approval from time-to-time to side-step those rules.
I propose the Catholic Church select Luca Sbisa as the next pope.
Qualifications and Benefits of a Pope Sbisa
- Luca Sbisa was born in Italy, he'll fit right in.
- Sbisa, unlike Pope Benedict XVI, was never a nazi.
- Sbisa has 3 assists so far this year in 17 games.
- There's no evidence to suggest that Sbisa has ever molested a child, this could help with the Church's public relations.
- Is maybe catholic?
- Has a TOI/60 of 16.10.
- His favorite show is It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia.
- Looks okay in funny hats: