This is a cry for help.
Sharks @ Ducks, and the San Jose player the Ducks should target prior to the trade deadline.
Megalodon suggested for this article that we both offer trade proposals. This makes sense for Meg, as the Sharks are awful and need all of the help they can get. A team full of worthless players will certainly take whatever trade they can possibly get, as something needs to be done to turn their failure of a season around.
It's not so easy as a Ducks fan. As one of the most dominant teams in the NHL, there's not much you'd want to change about the group right now. Too much tinkering and you might end up in a disappointing mess, much like San Jose.
So rather than initiate a trade in hopes of strengthening Anaheim (because how much better can this powerhouse of a team get?), I'm proposing the Ducks do some charity. Not charity in order to help the Sharks do better (we're a little beyond that), but charity to help a player in need.
To the San Jose Sharks: Bryan Allen
To the Anaheim Ducks: Brent Burns
What the Sharks get: A few million dollars shed off their cap (on a shorter-length contract) that they can use to blow on some other disappointing players. They are also no longer liable for the likely charges of neglect that would have otherwise been coming their way.
What the Ducks get: The chance to do some real good in the world by taking in an obviously neglected, struggling young man with deep psychological issues. The Ducks can offer the unkempt Burns a hot meal and a nice shower, and will tend to him in his time of need.
Gameday prediction: Anaheim wins 4-2, the second goal against the Ducks is mostly a charity goal.