Bear with me through this, as I have had about eight mimosas running around through San Diego.
Lately here at the ol' Battle of California we have been pretty unkind to the Nashville folk. I've called their team pedophiles, Meg hates and fears their jerseys, and Jer committed the worst crime by saying they play boring hockey. We've been pretty harsh. And that stops now. Making fun of people's homes is pretty uncalled for, so here we have the apologies to Nashville and the Predators.
- I'm sorry for the angry comments I'll probably get from a few of you.
- We're sorry your jerseys look a very full urinal with a cat head in them.
- We're sorry your team only has averaged a league low 24 shots on goal, a full two shots lower than the next closest team.
- Also, we're sorry your team leads the league in viewer suicides.
- I'm very sorry that tomorrow when I am watching the Predators play against the Kings for the third time in a month or so, I will probably be adding to aforementioned total.
- It's not your fault your city has a ridiculously high amount of sex offenders in it, and then you decide to name your hockey team after that statistic. Be proud of your city!
- Actually, c'mon. I thought you would be smarter than that?
- No? Okay...
- I'm sorry every burrito induced dump I ever took apparently makes up your river. To be fair, I eat a lot of burritos.
- We're sorry you are known as the "Music City", but you got shafted and wound up with country. Taylor Swift was kind of hot for a while at least.
- We're sorry you lost to the Phoenix Coyotes in the playoffs last season when it was deemed "Nashville's year" to win it all. Phoenix after all is a classy, respected, and admired organization.
- We're seriously sorry, but what the fuck? Jesus. Is there something in the water you drink? I told you what was in your river, so you better not be getting your water from there.