The Columbus Blue Jackets own the San Jose Sharks.
It's weird as hell, but it's true.
The Blue Jackets beat the Sharks 6-2 in the first game between the teams back in January. Then they beat the Sharks again earlier this month, this time 4-0. The Blue Jackets have rocked the Sharks by a combined score of 10-2, which is insane and worrisome and makes me nauseated.
No, not "nauseous," dumbass. "Nauseated." Look it up.
The Sharks need to win tonight to avoid being swept by the Blue Jackets, which feels like a sentence I would write in some bizarre dystopian future where dogs rule the world. Sure the Blue Jackets have been an improved team this season, and sure they might actually make the playoffs, but they aren't really THAT good. If you look at the numbers it's clear that they're actually a pretty bad team that has gotten a bit lucky on offense and has benefited from a Vezina-contending (but not winning because #Niemi4Vezina) season from Sergei Bobrovsky.
I'm in the same boat as Dunn regarding both wanting the Sharks to beat Columbus and also wanting the Red Wings to miss the playoffs, but since I definitely don't want the Sharks to have lost all their games against the Blue Jackets this season it's a bit easier for me to cheer for an outright victory.
Sorry Jackets. You seem nice and all, but you'll have to make the playoffs by beating some other chumps. The Sharks already gave you four points.
Prediction: The Sharks make everyone sad by beating the Blue Jackets 4-2. Four goals and two assists from Martin Havlat because when the heck is that guy going to start scoring?
(Fun note - I wrote that previous line about Havlat prior to the previous game against the Wild).
"We are creatures that congenitally cannot focus on the micromachinery that makes our minds tick."
My 4th-favorite book is I Am a Strange Loop. It's my favorite non-fiction book and one of the few books that has significantly changed my outlook on life. I used themes from the book in great detail in the post and comments here so I won't get into it again.
It's a great book you guys. Seriously.