Circle of Jerks 4: Meg on Dunn

It's playoff jerking time .

The playoffs are only days away, so on the final idle day for the California teams before all three of them head to the post-season (suck it, everywhere else in the world but especially Texas!) it's time for one last round of everyone's favorite (?) blog series. This is Circle of Jerks 4: Playoff Edition.

This time I had the honor of interviewing the schizophrenic veteran that I was tricked into hiring to write about the Kings: Dr. Ryan Dunn D.D.S.

Q1: Please rank the possible first-round opponents for the Kings in order from the one you would most like to play to the least. Explain your ranking.

Dunn: "I don't want to face the Sharks. I tend to drink when I watch hockey to begin with. I drink more with the Kings because they stress me out. When it's against the Sharks or Ducks, I'm even more stressed because I can't stand seeing the Kings fuck up against really lousy opponents. The series against the Sharks nearly killed me a few seasons back, and my liver is still recovering. I don't think it can handle that again, especially since the Sharks aren't as good as they were then, so it would be even more infuriating to watch. However, I always enjoy a series against the Canucks for the entertainment at least. Obviously the Kings' best chances of winning are in a series against St. Louis, who they swept in the playoffs last year and again during the regular season. Still, a chance to boo Jason Pominville during the playoffs for that horrendous face to elbow hit he delivered is too good to pass up.

1st-Minnesota (to boo), 2nd-St. Louis (wins), 3rd-Canucks, 4th-Sharks (alcohol poisoning)"

Q2: What do you want done with your body after you die? Would it bother you if your corpse were just thrown into a garbage dump?

"I actually fully expect to die in a dump, so I'm pretty okay with the idea. If for whatever reason I don't, then I was probably murdered, and want you to get to bottom of it, because it was probably Derian Hatcher. Even still, as long as I wind up at the dump I'm alright with that. But then I want everyone to kill themselves because they can no longer enjoy my wit and good looks."

Q3: What have been the best and worst parts of writing for Battle of California this season?

"The best part about Battle of California is I can swear, say stupid shit, and piss people off and everyone seems okay with it. It's pretty great. The worst part is Jer because he doesn't watch Game of Thrones and likes the Ducks. What a butthead."

Cogent analysis. Penetrating insight. Thoughtful opinions. None of those were on display here today, but who knows what we'll see next time on Circle of Jerks?

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