Anaheim Ducks Gameday: A Chat with the Enemy and a Look Back

Jordin Tootoo is such a reprehensible piece of shit. - USA TODAY Sports

It begins.

Once again, the Ducks are meeting up with the Red Wings in the post season. As Earl Sleek once pointed out, we've played the Wings every single year we've made it into the post season in an odd-numbered year (with the exception of 2011, which happened after Sleek's discovery). We've never met them in an even numbered year. 2013 proves to renew the tradition almost destroyed by 2011.



Fuck This Guy...

To kick things off, I've asked JJ from Kansas, editor of Winging it in Motown and frequent BoC commenter, 5 questions so that those unfamiliar can get to know our enemy better. You can also check out 6 questions I answered for him yesterday.

1. Why are the Red Wings going to win this series?

Because they're a smarter team. While Datsyuk and Zetterberg spend their spare time on the bench patiently cloud-calculating the variances in genetic mutations which lead to childhood cancer in an attempt to eradicate the problem, Corey Perry sits on the bench wondering whether it would be fruitful to write Mad Magazine another letter asking why they keep putting him on their cover.

Despite how much fun offensive production is, defense wins postseason games and the Wings' defense this year was better.

2. Why are the Red Wings going to lose this series?

Because while it took humanity thousands of years to develop to the point where they could create magnetically-stored video and audio in a casette format which was easily accessible and viewable for the general population, it took forty seconds for the first guy to figure out that when it doesn't work exactly right "just give it a good fucking bop and that'll fix it" is often a pretty good solution to being outsmarted.

While using a VCR for a comparison is horribly outdated, it works pretty well for the Wings, because they've also been around longer than people remember and their success also rides on a lot of moving pieces all continuing to work in synchronicity. Detroit can't afford too many mistakes and I'll never forgive them for eating my copy of 'Gremlins' as a kid.

3. How many games, and who takes it?

This one goes seven because it's supposed to go seven. There's not a more-entertaining series in the West right now. Since Dan Cleary is still on the roster, Detroit pulls it off.

4. What's the most obnoxious things you've ever witnessed a Ducks fan do?

I once saw a dude say that when he hears "we should try to treat everybody equally" the true message is "try to be more white.", which is just an awful way of going about living. Oh, I also once saw a whole group of them chant "quack quack quack quack" aggressively at a team of 12-year olds to intimidate them. That's a pretty dick move.

5. Say something nice about the Ducks that doesn't involve Teemu Selanne.

Try 1: Fuuuuuuuck youuuuuuuuuu.

Try 2: At least you guys aren't the fucking Blues.

All those answers are pretty terrible, but really, all Red Wings fans are pretty terrible.

Remembering the Games Which Got Us Here...

The Ducks and Wings met up with each 3 times during this shortened regular season, which the Wings took 2-1. Anaheim didn't play to expectations, but here at the blog I certainly exceeded all expectations. Here our my three gameday posts from the series:

  1. February 15, 2013: A List of Cool Things About Detroit (Ducks win 5-2)
    I spent a lot of time compiling a comprehensive list of everything that is good about the city of Detroit.
  2. March 22, 2013: A Brief Interview with Mike Babcock's Facial Expressions (Wings win 5-1)
    Of the posts I've written for any gameday, this is one of my favorites. I land a quick interview with coach Babcock.
  3. March 24th 2013: Chatting with the Enemy (Wings win 2-1)
    I've already had these dumb chats with JJ in the past. I'm just relying on my old hits.
And here's a comprehensive list of all of the enjoyable articles about the games from Winging it in Motown:
  1. ...

Final Thoughts

Fuck off, Detroit.

Gameday Prediction: Ducks win 2-1, Matt Beleskey gets the GWG in OT to complete his Gordie Hower hat trick.

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