Los Angeles Kings Gameday: Cheaters

Yup - Harry How

The most parenthetical side notes you'll ever see

Recently it has come to my attention that copying people's work as your own is bad. Twitter (of all places) showed me such a life lesson when it blew up slightly when some South Carolina pastor was apparently stealing jokes and Patton Oswalt got mad. While this is sure to be made into a movie later this year, (featuring William H. Macy and Cuba Gooding Jr.) I was pretty shocked. Namely because cheating, stealing, and taking all good that comes from it is the American (and Italian) way! I'm not proud to admit it, (yes I am) but cheating got me through freshman year honors biology. Sure I could have said the class was too advanced for me, but then I would have been lying also. I just didn't do the reading and had no interest in figuring out what the tympanium does. I had bigger concerns in life, such as my goalie career with figuring out how to pick up the puck better off of shots (turns out I needed glasses) and finding out why Vicki my lab partner wouldn't eat lunch with me (she thought knew I was an asshole). More importantly, I passed with a C, and didn't have to go to summer school so I was able to piss my summer away getting high and playing video games.

There's not really a point to this story, I just feel like everyone cheats and gets away with it. Like Jonathan Toews. Hell, I still do. Every post (outside of my glorious MS Paint work) I simply copy-paste work done by Rudy "Rudy Kelly" Kelly and just slap my name on it while applying updates. The problem is I do that even more half-assedly (English teachers are crying out in pain right now) so that there are spelling and grammatical errors everywhere, making the post nearly unrecognizable and impossible to read. For example (taken from Rudy's Best Season Ever done in 2010 leading into game 6 against the Vancouver Canucks):

Am I disappointed with the way they've played this series playoffs? Sure!

Do I wish the Kings had called up not traded Jonathan Bernier Simon Gagne and Andrei Loktionov? Nah Yes.

Do I wish Randy Jones Robyn Regehr were shot into the Sun? Sure!

Is Randy Jones Robyn Regehr the reason the Kings have lost any one game? Nah I'm actually going to say yes, just because.

Is Terry Murray Darryl Sutter just an average in-game coach doing all that shit some of us were worried about him doing last year when he was first hired? Sure!

Does he deserve anything but adulation for his overall performance this season? Nah.

Has this been the best season since 1992-93 2011-2012? Sure Nah!

Do I have any regrets spending countless hours writing about a hockey team on the internet? Kinda Definitely, but I have nothing better to do.

Do I want the Kings to win tonight? Sure!

Will I be devastated if they lose? Nah.

Am I proud of this team? Sure No, I have standards now!

Would I change anything about this season? Nah Yes. I would have not traded Gagne or Loktionov, and not have given Regehr that contract extension, but the Kings beat the Sharks so it's not all bad.

Just play your best, boys. Trust your teammates, trust the system, don't bother with the after the whistle stuff. It's not about winning and losing, it's about looking yourself in the mirror and asking yourself if you did everything you could from August to April whatever month it currently is to be ready for this moment. If you can better say yes to that question then you're alright with me or I will come after you with a knife.

Go Kings.

A few edits here and there, and I'm done. Easy as that. And now I have time to get high and play video games.





The Kings have put themselves into quite a hole. Sure, they can sit around and blame injuries, head shots by Raffi Torres and David Bolland, or (like me) Robyn Regehr, but they have looked pretty god awful this post-season. It's not to say the Blackhawks haven't looked good, but had the Kings been on as they had been during the regular season I don't think the Blues and Sharks series would have gone as long as they did, and the Kings wouldn't be ready to call it year right now. It's pretty odd to guess what happened, because even last year when they were struggling they still had decent puck possession.

For what it's worth, my guess would simply be teams adjusting to the Kings style a little more now. The breakouts are now rushed and sloppy because of it, resulting in turnovers or no speed in the neutral zone, and the entries are basically only existent through dump-ins that the opponents have now been picking up first. It's gotten rather predictable watching the Kings, where a paint huffing jagofff such as myself can easily dissect what they are doing. Pretty sure a paint huffing jagofff NHL coach can do the same (that means you, Hitchcock).

Prediction: Weekend + road game = trouble. I may have cheated through biology, but I was a pro in math (nope, cheated there also).

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