Kings Gameday: 'A' Minus

"Hey, baby, you awake?" - Harry How

Oh, hey Matt Greene. Forgot you were there

Defenseman Matt Greene has been a healthy scratch lately, mostly due to the fact of, well, he's not a better defenseman than the six guys that are playing. Jake Muzzin has been a reliable-ish top pairing guy (just like how Drew Doughty and I said he would be), Alec Martinez has been not terrible in his own zone while providing some needed puck movement and offense, and Willie Mitchell and Robyn Regehr are a little bit better at the shutdown game. Greene's not a bad defender. He's a pretty good third pairing guy and I'm glad the Kings have him around if someone else gets a rhymes-with-synergy.

And I like Matt Greene. But the Kings are at an impasse with their stay-at-home blueliners. Regehr and Mitchell aren't suited for regular first pairing minutes. Greene paired up with one of them isn't a terrible thing (shockingly), but for whatever reason Darryl Sutter is all in favor of using Martinez instead now. Maybe they are showcasing Martinez. Maybe they realized their winning percentage with Martinez is a staggering 68.75% (versus 38.5% without him). Who knows? It just means Greene's not playing. It also means Mike Richards has been bumped up to assistant captain whenever Greene's not in the lineup.

That's nothing new. When Greene was hurt through essentially all of last season Richards wore an "A". But being a healthy scratch is kind of a slap in the face. So to take away the sting, Sutter should take away the "A" for good. Right now, it's just sort of scarlet letter on Greene. Except it's monotone in color. Maybe it should be a green letter. I don't know. In any case, Greene's the seventh defenseman now, and Matt's just another victim of losing a job to a Hispanic guy. So to make him feel better, he can wear another letter! Any other letter really.

B! for buddy!

C! okay, not this one either.

D! for Dunn!

E! for...eggs?

F! probably want to avoid this one actually.

G! for goner! Your ass is trade bait now, sucker!

H! for how many more of these do I have to do? This is stupid. Let's just skip to the ending.

Z! Zap zap zap zap.




Jerk-Off 2014

Ahhh, another Original Six team. The Detroit Red Wings are a storied and iconic team that dominated the NHL throughout the late 90s and turn of the century. Except for back in 2001. Don't know what happened there. Times have gotten harder for the Wings, but luckily they are in the Eastern Conference now, so they should still be making the playoffs.


Eastern Standings

GP W-L-OT Pts
Pittsburgh Penguins 45 32-12-1 65
Boston Bruins 44 28-14-2 58
Tampa Bay Lightning 44 26-14-4 56
Montreal Canadiens 45 25-15-5 55
Philadelphia Flyers 44 23-17-4 50
Washington Capitals 43 21-16-6 48
Detroit Red Wings 44 19-15-10 48
Carolina Hurricanes 44 19-16-9 47
New York Rangers 45 22-20-3 47
Toronto Maple Leafs 45 21-19-5 47
Ottawa Senators 45 19-18-8 46
New Jersey Devils 45 18-18-9 45
Columbus Blue Jackets 43 19-20-4 42
Florida Panthers 44 17-21-6 40
New York Islanders 45 16-22-7 39
Buffalo Sabres 43 12-26-5 29


Uh-oh, maybe not. Well, I'm sure their fans will be completely rational about this also. Anyways, Detroit certainly doesn't match the jerk output of the Boston Bruins, but here's who we got.

Todd Bertuzzi

Oh, I don't know...

Niklas Kronwall

Anytime you have a check referred to as your name (i.e. "Kronwalled") you automatically gain a nomination.

Justin Abdelkader

He's only here because I know Ducks fans will sit around and whine about him, but he seems okay by me.

Henrik Zetterberg

This guy with his stupid smug face and a wonderful beard...and Swedish charms...wha? No. I mean, he's married to this lady.

97_medium

Jerk.

Prediction: Traffic for this post goes up (along with other things) thanks to this picture.




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